Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 3:08:44
In reply to Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 19:58:30
BC- bless you for taking that time...this is one of those issues that no one but someone who's been through it can be of much help...my fiance has conveyed (nearly to the letter)the same feelings as your hub.
>
> We both agreed that the main component is love.Amen. But I still can't make peace with it-maybe it's the fact that I'm not carrying my end of the relationship. Then there's the money thing. It just feels a little weird because we're not married yet and HAD both been self-sufficient. But now I'm not contributing anything. And the money is really not a "situation"- but I want to be helping too. I guess it would be different if I were home taking care of a kid...
Am I going to be saddled with a big problem?'
Bingo- and I think he is!! He doesn't tho- he's confident that we'll get through it...just keeps telling me that he loves me and that's why he's here. He grabbed my face in his hands once and said, "Don't you know that you're what I've been waiting for so long? That means you- good or bad!" probably helps that I get twinkles here and there when I feel and seem my old self- he knows I'm still in here somewhere...
think we'll never get over it, but the other person doesn't necessarily see it that way at all.
I guess you're right...I always used to think he was just reassuring me (so self centered am I!) but I guess he does believe it.
he's been in a similar place and can relate.
Ok your hub sounds like the bomb! I do wonder how anyone could truly understand the situation when they hadn't lived it...you have that added "bonus" (for lack of a much much better term) with him.
pride in ourselves for being so courageous in the face of a horrendous illness.
How's you get so strong, BCat? You're words have really meant a lot to me- more than I can convey here. And your hub- well, I'm glad you have him (and that he has you!)
Where'd you get all the kitties? We have two and I agree- they are my kids now. I wish we could post pics here!
Signing off, with my tail out from under my legs and positioned vertically with a slight curve at the end...
(By the way, we're definitely gonna get sent to PSB- should we just do it?)
Thanks so much BC,
Kar
poster:Kar
thread:98599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/99414.html