Posted by BarbaraCat on March 19, 2002, at 15:18:45
In reply to Re: this one's kind of depressing, sorry, posted by vanessa on March 19, 2002, at 14:22:13
Dear Vanessa,
Thanks for writing and expressing so clearly what it's like to be in that dark hell. I can relate to everything you mentioned, especially the 'going outside and feeling worse'. In fact, when I'm in a particularly bad spell, I prefer rainy miserable weather rather than a lovely spring day. There is little else more anguishing than feeling horrible in a darkened disheveled room when outside is a beautiful fresh alive day.It's so difficult to explain to those around us what it's like to not have the energy, interest or hope to do even simple things that will supposedly make us feel better. Get more exercise; Go out and get your mind off your problems; Get involved with volunteering, give to others - yeah right, I can't even tie my shoelaces and these things are supposed to be do-able and make me feel better. There is no reason or cure other than that which involves healing the brain and it's delicate chemistry. It's not a matter of will, much as I'd love to take that Spring day walk.
I'm Bipolar II as well and have been through just about every med in the book in the last 25 years. Can I ask what you are currently on that is working for you (even a little)? Also, another question that has come up - are you currently able to work while going through all this? Inquiring minds on this board would like to know. - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:97858
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/98855.html