Posted by noa on February 24, 2002, at 15:31:25
In reply to Children will be children., posted by Willow on February 21, 2002, at 18:31:46
I'd say it is a possibility, but unless, like the others say, the school is reporting problems, and if other aspects of their lives are going decently, I would keep an eye on it, but definitely not force the issue with them.
Most kids have some mood swinging, and it's hard to know via this method of communication if your kids are in that normal range or not.The moods could be related to bipolar, but they caould als be developmental, and they could also be part of how the kids are coping with the uncertainties surrounding your illness and the ups and downs you have struggled with, and their worries about you.
As for hearing about how they're doing in school, you don't have to wait for that to happen, you can inquire with the teacher/principal/guidance counselor if you want info beyond the grades you see on their report cards.
However, since they are dealing with your illness, and you are also trying to deal with managing how to parent kids who have mood swings, maybe some family therapy--just to help you with how to cope with their moods and for them to have an opportunity to discuss their feelings about your illness and hospitalization,etc. and for all of you to have a way to discuss how it all affects your relationships, could be helpful. That could also open the door so that the idea of going for help isn't foreign to them. Or if not family therapy, maybe a support group for patients and their families.
I understand your worrying about this. First of all, this kind of thing does run in families, though as others mentioned, it isn't a fate set in stone. Second of all, I know how hyper-alert I get to emerging symptoms in myself--I get all anxious about the symtpoms showing up again, etc., so if I had kids I am sure I would worry about them that way, too. That brings me to the 3rrd of all---with all the suffering you have no doubt endured, you are probably so vigilantly on the alert to prevent it in your kids, so they don't have to go through what you have gone through. For which, of course, you are to be commended! And it is hard, so hard, to walk that fine fine line between being aware and alert and being too vigilant and anxious. Consider it like surfing---you gotta stay on that board, while to the right is negligence and not being alert enough, and to the left is being too hypervigilant and over-worrying---you gotta stay just right in the middle, which sure ain't easy!! And there is going to be a fair amount of wobbling as you ride the waves. I think this kind of ambiguity, and needing to accept the role of "surfer" goes with the territory. But it can be very anxiety provoking. Getting support and help where you can can help you ride the waves more confidently.
That is why it's good you asked us. Also ask someone who has first hand knowledge of your kids.
Take care.
poster:noa
thread:94910
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020222/msgs/95326.html