Posted by shelliR on September 5, 2001, at 11:15:08
In reply to Re: Update Lorainne, Elizabeth, et. al. » shelliR, posted by Lorraine on September 3, 2001, at 21:45:26
Hi Lorraine.
> What, both of us gone the same time. Well, I'm home now (big sigh).big sigh of relief? I don't know if long weekends fit under the heading of vacations.
re continuing wellbutrin:
> > I'll be in a very mellow, non-pressured familar place, mostly by myself. So I am going to try to go up to 300mg. If that does nothing for the depression, I'm ready to move on.
> It's nice to try this is a non-pressured environment where you can watch your reactions, although I find that sometimes I can miss seeing my depression if I am not around people.My primary depression is there, whether people are around or not. That's why I call it so physical. I have had two days of 300mg of wellbutrin with very little improvement. It is so much easier to tolerate being depressed when I don't have to work--at least this type of depression.
But then I have also another type of depression/anxiety/angst that has to do with people and fitting in in life and that is much more apparent when I am around people, especially new people or people I don't know well. I'm not sure whether that could be medicated and if so, I'm not sure what I would have to give up in exchange.
In the last few days small things have made me realize that I have both very strong right and left brain hemispheres. But I can only be in one side or the other; my transitions are incredibly slow. Anyway I am really excited about realizing that. Maybe a small corpus colluseum (sp?). So maybe if my neurotic existential depression/anxiety was medicated, I would also lose my excitement at these useless discoveries.An example: For months I've been using :-) because I know it is the sign for smile. But I was thinking okay, first colon, then dash then parenthesis. For the first time last month I SAW that OF COURSE it is a smile sideways. I felt so stupid, because I am so visual. Then some other similar things came to mind and I realized when I am in left brain mode (i.e., writing posts, I am totally out of visual mode), so that was really fun to realize and I felt less stupid.
Anyway, I can only write things like that on the board because the post is directed to you. If it was directed to the whole board, I'd feel that I was totally boring everyone.
I'll take my chances on boring you < g >.
> > > > [re oxy]Like I took doseII at 3pm and 5mg of valium, and I am very tired, but feeling good.
> You don't mind feeling very tired? that would drive me nuts. I hate sedation.Well I have always been a spurt person--put total energy out then become really tired later. And I do felt strange about being so tired in the afternoon (sort of ashamed), and sometimes when I'm not home, it felt really bad. But that was a side effect that I *was* willing to accept. And if I can sleep for even 20 minutes to half-hour in the afternoon, I am totally energized the whole evening. I think not having children made it easier for me and working for myself. Still, it's amazing to have all this energy on wellbutrin, and if it doesn't work as my main AD, I can see it as an adjunct (rather than stimulants, for example)
BTW, I have asked my pdoc to do a nardil/wellbutrin combo, but he was less than enthusiastic. He said he has another idea first (which of course he didn't share with me). I think with him if I really insist on trying something, he will prescribe it for me. But since the oxycontin is making life even more than bearable (when I am up to the right amount), I will try to be patient with his ideas.
> Shelli, you are very strong period. I don't worry about whether you would feel pressure to conform to my opinionThat's good. I do have certain vulnerabilies that make me feel not very strong. And don't say (please) that everyone does--because not everyone wants to die because of their vulnerabilities.
> or even elizabeth's.
*even* Elizabeth's < g >. I get different things from both of you.
> Have you explained to him that you want to move up on your doses more gradually?He is not ideal in the area of accepting explanations. He says, "take as much oxy as you need, don't worry". That's his most often response to me: "don't worry" It's definitely a dismissal as well as reassurance. But let's not go there. :-)
> I would worry about the drug interactions and beyond that I might try it. (Dr. Koop has a good interaction checker).
I've already combined oxy and vicodin a couple of times for bad migraines.
> I've never kept anything from my pdocs before, but I feel like it's my body and I'm the one at risk if he's going to set a limit on the oxy.
> I don't think he is going to set a limit really. so perhaps honesty should rule the day. I haven't kept anything from my pdoc. I sort of figure that he is willing to take fairly substantial risks with me and I owe him honesty. I am also pretty confident that once you breach the "trust", all that risk taking gets withdrawn. More important for me to maintain the relationship than mess we my meds in a way he would be uncomfortable with.My goal is to enhance his comfort level.
??????? *his*? I think maybe I read that out of context.Whew! Having said all that, I don't think you should add the vicoden without his knowledge and consent:-(
>
I think I just caught your thought process in real time. < g >. I think you're right. I didn't feel at all guilty not telling him about the mixing for migraines because it might have become too complicated and I've only done it twice. But in general trust is incredibly important
> > > >And also he thinks it wastes time, because he knows where we're going.
> This would definately bother me, but then I like to have a lot more control and understanding about my medical stuff than most doctors are willing to indulge.Well, of course this is not a perfect match. But we've been there before. :-)
>> > Details, please. dress, body type, age, etc.
> Tall, sixty-something, lean, stooped, wirey hair. Passionate about his craft, tendency to think aloud, always willing to think and give full weight to what you say unless it is in accordance with orthodox medicine:-)Passionate is good. And he listens and thinks too. Sounds good; can't remember what that feels like. I wonder why he (and some people in general) are stooped.
>
>
>
> > > > OK,OK,OK. See I thought the term pills included both tablets:
> > good point.
> Yeah, but I was still able to drive you nuts with it< vbg >Oh, my, did it show? < vbg >
> Update on parnate, please.
> Temper and irritation became a fairly major issue so I scales back from 15mg to 12.5 with the end result being that I lacked mood support and was irritable to boot. So I think I'm on to Nardil. By the way, did you say you tried Nardil augmented with Desipramine? In the archives, someone raved about this combo.Does Desipramine have a brand name? I can't recall what that is off the top of my head.
I have a feeling that you will not be as sensitive to nardil as you were to parnate. Aside from sleep disturbance and afternoon fatigue (which I think is partially just my own blood sugar patterns), I was not at all conscious of taking a drug.
I wouldn't be disappointed if the nardil didn't kick in as quickly as parnate. I've never read about immediate anti-depressant with nardil. (Hopefully YMMV) If you get the afternoon fatigue or have difficulty sleeping, I'm sure you can work on that after. As for sleeping at night, I do need something to stay asleep. That has been a small price to pay considering that I feel that nardil really saved my life.
Be patient if my responses are not immediate. It turns out that by the time it's 10pm, I'm totally exhausted (no naps, so far). It takes more energy for me to write because I'm not used to using a laptop.
shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:67742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010902/msgs/77835.html