Posted by adamie on September 4, 2001, at 18:51:37
In reply to About to get ECT...., posted by PhoenixGirl on September 4, 2001, at 17:29:45
> This is kind of long, but please read, I need help. I'd like to see what others here think about what I'm about to do. I'm in my early 20s, and have had serious depression, social phobia, anxiety, and crippling fatigue since I was 12. I had symptoms of these conditions, as well as moderate OCD, since my earliest memories. See, my mom has manic depression, one of her sisters committed suicide, my dad's father was a severe alcoholic, and my fraternal twin has had most of the same problems I do, but to a somewhat lesser degree. Apparently, I have very bad mental health genes. My dad is very negative and critical also, and I was picked on in school. Recently I have had permanent damage done to my vision from Lasik surgery, which has pushed me further into depression. I have had almost no friends since the age of 12 because of my problems and moving a lot, and have been on antidepressant drugs since age 13. I've tried imipramine, zoloft, anafranil, effexor, serzone, trazadone, wellbutrin, celexa, remeron, and now desipramine, with only partial relief. I've tried adding thyroid hormone, stimulants, and some combinations thereof. I've done tons of therapy. Despite all of this, I still feel miserably depressed, I fantasize about death, and I have no friends or intimacy with anyone. I feel like an elderly woman, and I'm 23 years old. I've had depression for so long and it started so early, I don't even know who I am without depression. My social phobia, and the early and chronic isolation have made it difficult for me to have even the simplest social interactions. My doctor wants me to have ECT, which I am agreeing to. I guess what I'm afraid of is that it won't work well, the memory problems will be too much, and/or the positive effect won't last. If it doesn't last, I'll have to do maintenance, but I fear what that might do to my memory. Also, ECT is very expensive, but my health insurance covers 90% of it. What if I need maintenance ECT indefinitely? I may not always have good if any health insurance. The insurance I have now is very good, but I hate my job and want to leave it. Our health care system in this country really blows, hardworking people can't necessarily get what they need. Anyway, please share your thoughts, advice, insights, or anything you might like to say to me.
hi. I too have considered ECT and anyone who is severely depressed and feels he/she cant take it much longer should deffinetly consider it. memory loss which is usually temporary is a small price to pay to feel much much better even if it is just temporary. but maintenance with meds can keep one feeling better after the ECT. Depending on the severity, depression is one of the most horrific ilnesses/deceases/disorders possible. I may have only been dealing with it for 3 months but if it turns so horrible to the point where mind torture prevents me from doing even the simplest things then I would easily have ECT. But of course the doctors wont let me. Sometimes it has been that like. Such days where I cant even get out of bed. Overall I am getting better but the way I have been before I would gladly take ECT if I was allowed.
Before this life has been completely perfect. I have the most perfect fiance imaginable (for me). I was always happy. Life just completely amazing. Without depression anyone can feel such things again. To be able to enjoy anything you want is amazing, yet so many take it for granted. Good luck with the ECT. I say go for it. When depression is gone everything will be so much better it's like being in a whole new world. Sometimes with depression it is hard to see how much better your mood could be. The negativity is all natural in depression. So try not to think too much of ECT may effect your memory. It surely will but most of it and often all of it will go away. Being depressed and having memory loss would be quite bad to top things off. but that is a natural feeling you may have right now. like if this doesn't help I will feel extra horrible having this memory loss. but it has to help. at least 85% of the time. And with depression there isn't much to remember anyway. Some memories are very important. But when your life is restored you will have countless more memories. Because life will be great again. good luck. hope for the best
poster:adamie
thread:77709
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010902/msgs/77722.html