Posted by susan C on August 28, 2001, at 16:35:28
In reply to Creative Work and Meds - Problems? Success?, posted by Zo on August 28, 2001, at 15:36:12
Yo! Zo! Have you been peaking in my windows? Somedays it is just saying, "pick one thing to do at a time" 'think of resiliance'
What challenges we face, us creative ones, us intelligent ones, I summarized it for a good friend, very good friend the other day, I am very glad, when it comes right down to it, that I am in a secure place, with a family that loves me. Everything else changes. Sometimes, like you describe, everything comes together, then, sometimes everything STOPs (STOP inthename of love....dumb ti dum) She said, knowingly, you are coping...it was several years that way with her son...ramble ramble mutter mutter...Now my question and pondering: How can you know when something works? Can you say, is it good enough to say, I did this one thing today, and that is ok, even though xxx months ago I was top in my field (outstanding in my field) and now have trouble putting two sentences together?
BTW, what is, if I may ask, what your book is about?
Susan C. alias Mighty Mouse, Mood swings, depression, Mixed manic episodes, creative episodes, GAD? dizzy, confused, is it illness or meds? dx possible BPII, maybe seizure related, (still trying after all these years...ta dum) On
depakote, ambien, keppra (new one), HRT, vitamins minerals, good food, lots of water, exercise, ya da ya da. I guess if I had found the answer already I wouldn't be hunting for it?
> This is kind of a repost, hope to keep discussion going:
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> I'd hate to say how much my work (writing, sometimes painting) depends on the right meds in the right balance. Have worked at therapy many years, just as ardently pursued the biochemicaland spiritual as well.
>
> And it all, consistently, comes down to meds. While I was on Zyprexa, first 6 months of this year, I finished my novel, got an editor, could work regularly for the FIRST time. A
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> And since I went off it. . .God, I don't want to discourage anybody, but this is my truth, one person's situation. . .the MS has been lying here a few hours of revision, literally, short of going to my agent. My initative is gone.
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> Similarly, I lost interest in painting when I started on Neurtontin two years ago. The fire went out.
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> I'm not helpless. I am ill, and still struggling to put together a med package that works. . .for the umpteenth time. Further complicated by the fact that part of my dx is ALSO where the wonderful writing comes from! When I'm in a seizurey state (TLE) I am in The Flow! Writing is effortless!
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> Curing my "creative madness" just isn't in the cards. It would be the same as dead.
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> Much amiguity, and in the end, we have to chart our own course.
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> Zo - BPII, TLE, ADD, CFS/FM, abuse-survivor, funny as hell writer
poster:susan C
thread:76731
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010828/msgs/76737.html