Posted by cramx2 on May 5, 2001, at 16:21:20
I am a Nardil user on 60mg/ 4 tabs and the heat is driving me crazy. It's only the spring and the heat is coming on fast in NYC (72 degrees today
damn 90 yesterday) it's not helping my bad condition at all. I'm trying too remain focused, but
all the stress and anxiety lead me to becoming depressed. When i'm outside, i completely start
too dissociate. I can't cope anymore. I don't know how. I have to come back home from being outside. I feel safe here. I feel safe being in touch
with trying to reach out too people who are dealing with the same peoblems of depression. I don't know how I survive each day. I'm screaming too be loved and want someone to take care of me and my needs. I don't feel safe. This is not new. However I am more aware this time. I think this is good that i am becoming more aware of my trauma but I cant feel hopeful/ stable. I'm fighting all the time too hold on. I keep using thoughts like
I have to be in a hospital/psych ward, or I have to get out of this city, i can't deal anymore. I don't feel comforted by anybody. I'm all alone. I'm 30 years old and feel its too late. I don't want to kill myself,
but I use that as a way of surviving/ feeling comforted/ not having to deal with the pain. And aside from this I generally can't feel any control.
I know too much control is not good. But I can't be in the moment. How can i persue any of my goals
or focus on my problems, if they are just eating me
up. I'm confused because I really have no choice but to try to survive doing this all by myself. The Nardil helps, it's better than not being on AD's at all. I'm confused because I believe that the more I deal with these thoughts and feelings the better
I will adjust in the future. Is that true or am i trying to be brave. 60 mg is the max, but the heat is killing me. My Dr. would add lithium next. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm completely desperate.
poster:cramx2
thread:61712
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010424/msgs/61712.html