Posted by tina on July 14, 2000, at 23:18:40
In reply to Re: back to tina, posted by Jennifer on July 14, 2000, at 14:14:50
hI all: It's after midnight on friday and I'm not sleepy. In fact, i'm fidgety, high-strung and a little freaky again. Feeling like I've had intravenous caffeine for 3 days. Really jittery. Trying not to pace Jennifer, by typing out my troubles on this board instead. I know for a fact "someone" out there is going to kill me in the morning when he reads this but like I said before, "it's better to talk then to act sometimes." I am beginning to really get frustrated with this sleep thing. It seems that as the hour gets later, I wake up more. When I hit 10 or so I am wired and jittery and anxious and pacing and the last thing I want to do is crawl into bed feeling like that. If this is just the nicotine withdrawal, when is it going to stop and why didn't I have it right after quitting. Is this some kind of delayed reaction? S**t!!I had the herbal tea, the hot bath, I even had the warm milk(allergic and all) but I feel even more "high" than last time this happened to me. This is some kind of freakish hell. It's not really panic attacks but like a constant pre-panic attack. just the racing pulse and pounding heart and serious need to run, fast and get out of here. If I wasn't car-less I'd probably be drivivng like a maniac down a deserted highway right now trying to clear my head. Thank god for psycho-babble. I can do something instead of pace and pull my hair out among other things. I have addressed the hypoglycemia issue by eating lots and regular today. high protein so as to account for the amino acid thing too. I have no idea what this is but it's awful. I feel like I have to move, run, burst out of my skin, I can't explain it properly. I just feel like I'm losing my mind and going completely out of control.
I came out of it the other night so I'm sure I'll come out of it tonight. I just wanted to rant a bit and keep myself busy while the xanax took effect(sorry Jen--really needed it tonight) Benzo's may not be good for sleep but they are good for general relaxation which is what I need right now. What causes this crazy, out of control, in a rush, must-do-everything-now-or-I'll-lose-my-mind episode? Does anyone understand this at all, am I making any sense or just rambling cuz I don't know anymore. Too much fog in my head. Oh, nevermind, ignore me. It'll stop eventually, always does. Just wish I could explain it or diagnose it or just chop it off and lead a normal life like everybody else.Oh, forget it. Goodnight everyone. I should delete this post but I'm nnot going to because if it made any sense maybe I'll get an explanation for this from onw of you out there. Thanks for listenign. Later.
Tina
poster:tina
thread:40118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000708/msgs/40482.html