Posted by Libby on June 19, 2000, at 12:15:02
In reply to Calling in sick GUILT, posted by Kerry on June 19, 2000, at 11:05:42
>Am I really sick? In the head, yes--so it's okay to call in sick, right?
I reschedule meetings fairly often because I lack the mental resources to deal with a particular issue on a given day. If I'm having an emotional day, one where I'm crying constantly or agitated,
I've found it's best for everyone if I stay home.
I used to feel intense guilt over it because I didn't see depression as a real illness, but as a personal failing. Over time, I have begun to see it as a real illness, with real symptoms.What I used to see as laziness, I began to see lack of motivation. I saw that my fatigue wasn't because I didn't take care of myself. It was because sleep wasn't refreshing for me. And so on. That's not to say that depression is 100% physical. I believe there's a significant behavioral component to it... but my experience in the past has been that once the physiological problem is solved, the behavioral issues become much easier to handle.
The guilt is optional. I used to feel guilt whenever I thought I had failed someone. I had terribly high expectations of myself and others. I was perfectionistic and self-critical. Gradually, I am learning to adjust my own expectations of myself so that they are appropriate to my current physical, emotional,
and mental capacity. Meanwhile, I am trying to make sure all the physical symptoms are being addressed: the lack of sleep, the inability to concentrate, the eating disturbances. My hope is that once my body is functioning well again, I can begin to make some lasting changes in my behavior and mental state. Til then, I'm just trying to do what I can to manage.Best of luck to you... L.
poster:Libby
thread:37797
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/37804.html