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Re: NIKKI. JANICE!!!

Posted by Janice on June 11, 2000, at 22:29:01

In reply to NIKKI. JANICE!!!, posted by tina on June 11, 2000, at 8:02:06

hi tina,

thanks for asking. the battle rages on against all the beasts, and I am winning on all fronts except 2.

The depression beast (the strongest and mightiest of all the beasts). The lithium is giving me 2 depression free weeks a month (it was giving me 3 a month ago and this worries me).

The OCD beast (previously believed to be a dead beast). The Dexedrine that I use for the ADHD (a tamed beast), has exacerbated my OCD ALOT -- I do it hours a day, I'm doing it to a degree that I have never even come closed to before. Constant, non-stop ocd'ing. no control. this beast has resurrected itself.

Plan A (the only plan) - Stop the dexedrine on a regular basis, and only use it when necessary (for filling out paper work, business meetings, making small talk at boring parties). The OCD should stop.

As for the depression beast, although it's only low grade, and even while depressed I am fully functioning and have great physical energy, it still destroys my life when I experience it. I honestly feel completely powerless over it. I guess I will continue with mood stabilizers (probably more lithium), and keep searching. My hope for killing this beast is low right now, as I am currently under its grips. Oh, how I despise it! It is the most evil and most powerful of all the beasts!

I am very homesick lately. I even miss the humidity.

Janice

ps my family is crazy, but crazy in a good way-- full of adventure and lots of fun.

ps I didn't know dogs could get hemorroids. Does this mean she's been eating too much human food?


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