Posted by Abby on May 16, 2000, at 17:29:11
In reply to Inappropriate sense of entitlement, posted by boBB on May 16, 2000, at 2:49:33
> Abby wrote: The islands offered pleasant weather and a lower cost of living with the possibility of servants.
>
> boBB asks: Who said you are entitled to servitude? Maybe you are simply trying to keep your mother from divesting you of your share your inheritance.There were a couple of things I didn't mention, because, since Babbleland is generally a supportive place, I assumed that I would be given the benefit of the doubt.
1.) I probably do feel entitled to the money at some point, though I won't get it. My mother's family always helped out the next generation and in retirement, my grandfather lived below his income so that there would be more money to leave to his children. My mother is eating at both troughs. Even if she had decided to leave all her money to somebody else, I would be happier for her to have an orderly estate than to have all the money go to the IRS. Indeed one of the things she was upset about was that some paintings which had been given to my great-grandmother by the artist were by 1995 quite valuable increasing the size of the estate my grandmother personally left to the grandchildren for education. The paintings had to be sold, because otherwise almost all of the money would have gone to paying the taxes. I wanted to help her get her things in order, to avoid that sort of thing, but she is terrified of the words trust and lawyer.
2.) When my mother ran up huge phone bills,my grandmother was still alive, and although my grandmother would pay for my summer trips my mother's income was only about $28,000. My father had to give up working to take care of my younger sister who was getting creamed, and to try to mitigate some of my mother's damage. So we really didn't have the money to spare.
3.) I don't believe that we are entitled to servitude, but my mother is not competent and does need care. A hundred years ago she would have been placed in an asylum, which, if it had been a nice place, could have been a good thing. Since those don't really exist anymore, something like a cajoling maid was the best alternative---thus the Caribbean.
Finally, boBB, your basic point makes no logical sense. I wasn't looking for servants of my own but a nursemaid for my mother. So, I would be trying to spend money on her and during her lifetime, meaning that there would be less of it available to me. If I only cared about money, I would have encouraged my mother's confused night-time walks in dark clothes. I could have killed her off that way.I don't mean to be bitter in my reply,and I'm not going to be drawn into a heated discussion, but your remarks were not only rude but also mostly inaccurate.
poster:Abby
thread:33557
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33664.html