Posted by Noa on May 13, 2000, at 12:58:42
In reply to Re: I beg to differ ..., posted by Cindy W on May 13, 2000, at 10:56:38
I think there is room for different styles. But Kay is clearly uncomfortable with how this therapy has started out. A question I have is whether the therapist, in picking up on your discomfort in opening up and beginning to discuss feelings, has "accidentally" stepped into a role with you that might be played by someone else in your life, or that your wish someone would.
I think the best course of action is to tell your therapist what you told us: that you are having unsettled feelings about how much she is disclosing to you, and that even though it feels safe to not have to go into your own difficult business yet, you have a sense that she should be helping you do that, rather than colluding with you to avoid it. If she is a therapist with any modicum of competence, she will handle this with poise, and be able to own her role in this dynamic.
Another thought is to have a consultation with another therapist, with or without your current therapist's knowledge. This might allow you to see another therapist's style, to compare them and ask yourself about what it feels like to be with each of them, but also might be helpful in guiding you and your current therapist out of what seems to you to be an unproductive path and onto a better one.
BTW, in answer to your question, I know some things about my therapist, but not a lot of things. Some of the things I learned during a period when his wife was dying of cancer, and after her death, and it affected our meeting times, etc. Over the years, I have occasionally asked some questions, and while he has answered some, we have also explored the effects of whether he answers or not on how I feel in therapy.
Good luck and keep us posted.
poster:Noa
thread:33299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33357.html