Posted by boB on April 24, 2000, at 22:28:49
In reply to Forgiveness: Question for DebR and boB, posted by Cass on April 24, 2000, at 16:20:00
Honey, my forgiveness of my mother grew from her repeated tearful apologies for the things she did to me.
The biblical notion of forgiveness seems to suggest a connection between repentance and forgiveness. My mother knew the shouting matches and the frequent bouts of unruly behavior were disruptive of my life and tried, when she was in a better state of mind, to make things right.
No, you are not less of a person if you do not return kindness for evil. You will make us all a little bit stronger if you find a way to resist the wrong done to you without letting yourself be drawn down into the same kinds of behavior. Your situation is not uncommon, and those who stand up to their abusive caregivers by returning abuse for abuse lend to the unfortunate cycle of sociopathic hatred that poisons our society. If you can break the cycle without condoning or ignoring the wrong done to you, you are probably a better person than I.
If you can find a small way to encourage your mother to admit the error of her ways, you might have discovered a stronger medicine than anything the best pdocs at the U. of Chi. can ever create in their laboratories.
poster:boB
thread:30376
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000420/msgs/31199.html