Posted by harry b. on April 23, 2000, at 17:59:50
More therapeutic journaling for whoever wants to read.
As you may know, I was disenfranchised from my surrogate
family this year. It was and is the hardest hit I've ever
taken. Last night I was still waiting for the telephone
to ring, waiting to hear the comforting voice of my
friend/father reminding me to be on time for dinner today.The phone wasn't going to ring. I wasn't going to hear
his voice, yet my mind and spirit clings tenaciously.I confess to being afraid of today. I was certain I
would obsess over my loss. Certain I would dredge up the
old memories. I wasn't even sure I'd follow through
with my plans to accept the Easter invitation from my new
friend from the hospital.My new friend, J., had also asked if I wanted to go along
to church with him this morning. I have not been in a
church in decades. Last night I called him and told him
that I would like to go along with him. I also asked him
to call me when he got up so that I would not oversleep
(euphemism for staying in bed ALL day).I got my Sunday best out and ready before I went to bed
last night. J. called at 6:30am. I got to his house and
he & I went to his church. It was a great surprise to me.
There was no service. There was a musical play about the
life of Jesus, complete with an orchestra. It was very well
done & riviting. J. introduced me to everyone that he
talked to and I was pleased to receive such enthusiastic
welcomes from the members of his congregation.We went back to J.'s house, where his separated wife was
busy cooking. What a meal! I gorged on everything set
in front of me. J.'s son and daughter, each with a spouse
and children, were also there. I wasn't the life of the
party, but I was accepted and made to feel comfortable.
J.'s wife quietly thanked me for being a friend to him.A relative of their's was expecting them to visit later
in the day. I was invited to go along but declined. The
son and daughter left. Then the wife left. J. asked me
again if I wanted to go along. I did not, I'd had a good
day but was getting tired. J. said he did not have to
leave right away so we sat on the sofa and talked. I
was tired, could barely keep my eyes open. Without really
thinking about it, I found myself resting my head on his
shoulder and nodding off. It was about a half hour later
that J. said he had to go. I was a little concerned
that he may have been uncomfortable with my nap position,
but he did not appear to be. We hugged when I left and he
asked me to call him tomorrow.So, yeah, I had a good Easter. Thanks, J.
poster:harry b.
thread:31088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000420/msgs/31088.html