Posted by Noa on November 19, 1999, at 9:05:26
I have stayed home from work for the past two days, just too hard to face work, where I am overwhelmed. Sometimes I think maybe a non-emergency hospitalization is in order, I don't know. I guess it is time to beef up the cocktail with lithium, lamictal or neurontin. How does one figure out which would be best? I have started having edema (swelling) of the ankles, which is listed as an "infrequent" effect of serzone and effexor Xr, and I still haven't gone to the doctor about it. But I am worried about starting on lithium, which is know to cause water retention, if I already have edema. I don't know why the thought of hospitalization comes to mind, I am not suicidal. I have this idea of washing out on all my meds and starting over fresh. But the truth is, I am not sure that is a good idea. What makes me think anything else would work better? Maybe the best route is to just add to my cocktail. John L., I know you suggested a TCA, but I did try amytriptalne many years ago and reacted badly, so my pdoc feels it would not be a good direction for me to go in. Any of the tcas have anticholinergic effects, which make me simultaneously oversedated and overwired. It happens to a lesser extent with benadryl, etc. Kind of feel like all you can do is sleep only you can't sleep cuz you feel like bouncing off the walls but have no muscle coordination or alertness to do so. I've explained why the MAOIs won't work for me (has to do with my apnea).
As for calling in sick today, I feel guilty and ashamed. The truth is, once I let myself stay home, I felt such relief I didn't feel so depressed anymore. BUt it doesn't last, cuz I start feeling ashamed and thinking about not wanting to go back on Monday, not wanting much of anything. I know I am making things worse for myself by withdrawing, and if I take a leave of absence to go into the hospital, my debt problems will worsen. And that just makes life harder.
poster:Noa
thread:15525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991108/msgs/15525.html