Posted by mary on June 24, 1999, at 15:14:18
In reply to Pain, posted by Chris A. on June 24, 1999, at 2:01:05
I hear you loud and clear. It's just that sometimes
I feel that God's forgotten, given up or else his lines
been disconnected.I still am convinced that when the pain is so bad and
someone finds no relief and no hope taht they have chosen
a response which might make millions unhappy but in
the utlimate moment relieves their suffereing forever.
Im just not sure what forever is like.
> What does one do when the pain is overwhelming? I feel like a boat sinking in a vast, tumultous sea and no one is around. Even if they were around I feel it would be fultile to try to "connect." Why does depression have to be such an isolating experience? Am I ever sick of these mood swings. Today I "bumped into" my friend whose 16 yo son suicided five months ago. They are finally burying his body this weekend. My feelings are so confused. I hurt for my friend and her family, yet, I identify with the pain of her son. When people criticize his "act" I find myself feeling angry and want to shake them until they understand the pain of severe depression. People simply do not understand what it is like. I would give an awful lot not to have bipolar disorder.
> Thanks for understanding and allowing me to vent. My own intiaal question is answered. I know I need to run and not walk to my Creator and seek to know more of His love. Only He can shelter me in the cleft of the rock. Only He can cause my soul to be quieted and still. Only He can give me hope. Only He can give my frined hope when she's awake grieving over her only son in the middle of the night. I don't mean to preach - it's just that God is ultimately where my help comes from, regardless of what disguise it might take - meds, docs, therapy, friends, family, etc., etc.
>
> Chris A.
poster:mary
thread:7756
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990601/msgs/7778.html