Posted by Danielle on April 11, 1999, at 13:24:41
In reply to Re: misbehavior, posted by Dr. Bob on April 11, 1999, at 11:32:08
> > i agree with nancy that harry should have the same rights to express himself here and am asking that you please not censor him from participating...
>
> He does have the same rights. But those rights are limited. And he went too far. If others go too far, it's the last thing I would want to do, but I would "censor" them, too.
>
> A later post:
>
> > this forum is a very powerful tool.. and while i don't condone name calling or personal attacks, i do appreciate the fact that many here stepped forward to contain any damage and correct any misunderstandings
>
> Yes, and I think that's a wonderful thing about this forum, that people do take care of each other. But there's enough to help each other with already, I don't think we need name-calling, etc., added to that.
>
> I consider it a priority that people feel safe here. Otherwise, it's not an atmosphere that's very conducive to support and education.
>
> > we all have so much to learn from one another
>
> We do. I meant it when I said before that I hope he finds this a learning experience.
>
> And a post from Nancy:
>
> > I agree with v. Furthermore, Harry has been supportive and helpful to me. Please, don't block him from this forum. His pain is very much a part of the disorder that he tries so hard to live with. I feel that he has been reaching out and aggressively seeking help from us.
>
> I'm not saying he's never been helpful or didn't even in this case have good intentions or isn't in pain himself. But he was *too* "aggressive".
>
> > I have rages when I'm manic. But, that is not who I am. I'm not "misbehaving" while I'm manic. I'm JUST MANIC.
>
> I'm not sure I completely agree. Someone who's manic isn't necessarily *just* manic. They can also be manic *and* hurtful to others (or to themselves). I don't think it's always best just to let that go.
>
> > I suppose all the aforementioned is why society used to have the mentally ill chained down in tiny rooms of asylums, perform brain surgery to stop a patient who misbehaved.
>
> I suppose this is in fact on the same continuum as chaining someone down in a tiny room in an asylum, or performing brain surgery on them, but I hope it's not *quite* as bad...
>
> > What Dr Bob has called a behavioral problem in Harry is not a chronic condition... Can you say that you've read elsewhere on this board and found that Harry was doing harm? This is an isolated case. A single issue was raised to which Harry responded passionately.
>
> Well, I do think he went too far twice in this thread. I didn't do this after the first time. And I'm not saying I necessarily want to keep him blocked forever.
>
> > Can any of you say that there is not one issue in your life to which you've had a passionate response. An issue for which you or others insisted that you needed counsel. Whether that counsel came from a friend, a doctor, or your mother, makes no difference. Did you find help for that personally disturbing issue? Did those to whom you turned for counsel, whether it be that you turned to them in anger or in tears, abandon you?
>
> Whether someone you turn to abandons you can sometimes depend on the way in which you turn to them. Hopefully, that's the learning experience part of this.
>
> > I hope that I'm not misbehaving...really...not meant to be a fascicious statement. Should I even be writing about all this...my ideas...my concern? Is this issue taboo?
>
> Writing about ideas and concerns -- or about how I deal with things -- is not taboo. Being disrespecful of others is.
>
> BobBob
I agree with what you are saying and I thank you for what you are trying to do. Verbal abuse can be devastating, as many of us have experienced and can testify. I have found Harry's verbage to be remarkably similar to the abuse I suffered as a child, particularly his rationalization of it. I was told by my mother that my father's defense of his abuse was that he wanted me to be strong. Guess what - it had the opposite effect. Harry's posts are intentionally abusive, it won't do any good to try to reason with him. Fortunately, I don't have to be his audience. If you are unable to block him out, I can choose not to read his posts. First-timers won't be so fortunate. There have been others whose postings have come right up to the line of misbehavior in this forum, Harry is the first one to leap across it and leer at us from the other side.
poster:Danielle
thread:4030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990401/msgs/4695.html