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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on March 9, 2013, at 10:28:55
So, what does this story mean?
http://www.clickbipolarblog.com/2013/03/i-had-no-intention-of-killing-myself.html
Posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2013, at 17:47:34
In reply to I never had the intention to kill myself, posted by Phil on March 9, 2013, at 10:28:55
Although I'm not bipolar. I feel it was a cry of help. Also since you live alone. Could it that you needed to be around others? I'm so glad you didn't follow through Phillipa
Posted by Meatwood_Flack on March 10, 2013, at 9:49:19
In reply to I never had the intention to kill myself, posted by Phil on March 9, 2013, at 10:28:55
I think Phillipa may be onto something, aside from her nursing history. First, you said that killing yourself was not your intention. As impulsive as many attempts are, the desire to kill oneself spurs the action. There is, of course, a difference between wanting to die and wanting to stop pain, but you seem to have differentiated between these desires. Secondly, you chose a stairway you knew could not support your weight. Low ceilings or not, had you committed to killing yourself, you would have found a means and location more likely to get it done. Third, you leaned into the cord a few times instead of jumping. Fourth, you called your doctor after what you termed as a "non attempt." You had to know this would result in hospitalization, either voluntary or otherwise. Fifth, you described the resulting inpatient experience as positive. Many do not. The only other possibilities I can think of is either you had been harboring suicidal thoughts and wanted to use the horror of actually trying it to tamp down those desires, you just wanted to see how close to the edge you could get without going over, or you wanted to gradually desensitize yourself to the experience of taking your own life. The last is particularly unlikely if three years have passed since the last 'attempt.' At any rate, your blog nourishes others, so it's a blessing beyond yourself that, for whatever reason, the attempt was unsuccessful.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on March 10, 2013, at 13:30:15
In reply to I never had the intention to kill myself, posted by Phil on March 9, 2013, at 10:28:55
Hi,
I did something like that. For me, there was an odd detachment in it. Like, ok, well, I guess it's time to do this.
In the way that you get up for work, drive your car, pay the bills.
Glad you're still here,
sleepy
Posted by Phil on March 10, 2013, at 14:00:55
In reply to Re: I never had the intention to kill myself » Phil, posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2013, at 17:47:34
Couldn't have followed through even if I wanted to. What was weird if "no intent" wasn't depressed, possibly a bit manic. Maybe a cry for help but I just didn't feel that way. I just knew that it was very odd behavior for a Tuesday morning.
Posted by Phil on March 10, 2013, at 14:08:26
In reply to Re: I never had the intention to kill myself, posted by Meatwood_Flack on March 10, 2013, at 9:49:19
That makes a lot of sense to me and I haven't thought os some of those before.
I've studied suicide methods in the past. One that I liked but still was no guarantee was buying [xxx] from Amazon then ordering a custom made mask from a 80-85 y.o. lady in California that made them. You sent cash, she sent the mask. I think the CIA finally caught wind of it and shut her down. If you didn't have a helper you would most likely pull the mask off and risk severe brain damage.
Posted by Phil on March 10, 2013, at 14:09:15
In reply to Re: I never had the intention to kill myself, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 10, 2013, at 13:30:15
Yeah, me too.
Posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2013, at 20:50:39
In reply to Re: I never had the intention to kill myself » Phillipa, posted by Phil on March 10, 2013, at 14:00:55
Subconscious desire to be with others. Hence the lonliness is gone at least for a while? Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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