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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cass on July 9, 2010, at 2:24:01
Today my therapist told me that I'm drawn to life-affirming people. However, I'm not treating myself in a way that's life affirming. He's says I'm pushing away what I want.
How do I get my happiness back?? I had a good life for awhile but my husband died and I haven't bounced back. I've made progress, but I'm not the person I was when he was alive.
I do have lots of life-affirming people in my life, but I know some people may be offput by my recent depressive vibes.
Sometimes I wish I could believe in the Christian God, if I could somehow convince myself into following the mythical benevolent father-figure in the sky. It must give some comfort. But it doesn't give me any comfort because I cannot deceive myself. From experience, I believe in a spiritual presence in myself, others, nature and the world, but I do not believe the Christian God.
My therapist is calling me an alcoholic. I don't care about the label. I'm not going to take it on. I know all about 12-step programs in this area, and I don't want to go to one. But I'd like to taper down on drinking.
Posted by cass on July 10, 2010, at 1:50:50
In reply to Epiphany, posted by cass on July 9, 2010, at 2:24:01
Where is everyone?
Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 10, 2010, at 7:08:13
In reply to Re: ???, posted by cass on July 10, 2010, at 1:50:50
> Where is everyone?
Scared away by the Admin board. :-(
Hey there, Cass.
Your T sure is dealing out some tough love to you. Is this challenging way of communication the norm? Have you brought up the subject of drinking before and now you are being asked to address it?I know that in my experience, I *had* to deal with my drinking issues before any of the hard work I had done on anything else started to fall into place. And it was me who brought the subject into the therapy room; my T had many suggestions as to how I could begin to address it.
I read your post yesterday and wanted to respond, but truly was put off by the machinations on the Admin board - yuck stuff for me.
pc
Posted by cass on July 10, 2010, at 14:16:42
In reply to Re: ??? » cass, posted by PartlyCloudy on July 10, 2010, at 7:08:13
Hi PC!
Thanks for the reply! My therapist has not been so straightforward with me in the past. He's been more confrontational lately. However, I am the one who brought up the drinking, not him. I drink hard liquor at home by myself lately. I guess it's not a good sign. I'm truly not sure if I can stop or not because I haven't made any concerted effort.
I wish my hard-wiring would change, and I could be strong enough to handle my life. I was able to do with help, with my husband.
Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 10, 2010, at 15:32:48
In reply to Re: ???, posted by cass on July 10, 2010, at 14:16:42
> Hi PC!
> Thanks for the reply! My therapist has not been so straightforward with me in the past. He's been more confrontational lately. However, I am the one who brought up the drinking, not him. I drink hard liquor at home by myself lately. I guess it's not a good sign. I'm truly not sure if I can stop or not because I haven't made any concerted effort.
> I wish my hard-wiring would change, and I could be strong enough to handle my life. I was able to do with help, with my husband.I was sure I was hard wired too - I come from many generations of career drinkers. I had confessed to my T that I wasn't able to cobble together more than several weeks at a time of sobriety, and that the 12 step meetings I had gone to (SO many times and in so many places - what a failure I felt) just reinforced my conviction that I wouldn't be able to do it.
I believe that everyone has their own path to take, and that there is no one answer to this big life puzzle. I ended up with a combination of medication (Campral), outpatient treatment, and ongoing therapy to get to my success.
The reason I make it a focal point of my posts to you, though, is that for me it seemed to be the keystone for so much development for me. It's hard to forge good interpersonal relationships when you feel guilt and shame as part of your own makeup, as I did.
It might be a starting point for you.
pc
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 11, 2010, at 0:17:38
In reply to Epiphany, posted by cass on July 9, 2010, at 2:24:01
> Today my therapist told me that I'm drawn to life-affirming people. However, I'm not treating myself in a way that's life affirming. He's says I'm pushing away what I want.
>
> How do I get my happiness back?? I had a good life for awhile but my husband died and I haven't bounced back. I've made progress, but I'm not the person I was when he was alive.
>
> I do have lots of life-affirming people in my life, but I know some people may be offput by my recent depressive vibes.
>
> Sometimes I wish I could believe in the Christian God, if I could somehow convince myself into following the mythical benevolent father-figure in the sky. It must give some comfort. But it doesn't give me any comfort because I cannot deceive myself. From experience, I believe in a spiritual presence in myself, others, nature and the world, but I do not believe the Christian God.
>
> My therapist is calling me an alcoholic. I don't care about the label. I'm not going to take it on. I know all about 12-step programs in this area, and I don't want to go to one. But I'd like to taper down on drinking.
>
>Hey there,
It seems, after loss, there is this emptiness that sometimes gets filled with certain things, some more than others. To me, it was just emptiness that I couldn't handle more than thinking 10 minutes ahead of my time with.
What I have done, is I tend to believe in "something" spiritual. I guess you could say agnostic. But with more depth. I read a ton of spirituality literature, the very liberal and open stuff that doesn't claim to have "all the answers". Sojourners is one of them. You can visit them on the web at www.sojo.net. They are very, very progressive oriented.
You absolutely don't have to do 12 step is you don't want to. Take one thing at a time, and if they are that insistent, fire them and get a better therapist. There are many other great supportive alternative groups out there that want nothing to do with AA/NA, etc.
Best wishes,
Jay
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