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Posted by Geri122 on March 27, 2005, at 21:09:37
In reply to Here is a link, posted by partlycloudy on March 10, 2005, at 7:06:56
i don't know what to do anymore, i am going crazy. i am hurting so bad and now i can see that my mom is hurting to. not from what i am dealing with, but from the same person i am dealing with. My dad, its like he was put on this earth to ruin our lives. i hate hime soo much i can't even explain the emotions that are running through my head right now. I don't know what hurts more, the fact that he hurts me or the fact that he hurts my mom. i love her soo much and she deserves so much more then me or anyone else in my family treats her. i hate him soo much, he drives me to do crazy things to myself. im trying to fight back my tears because they show i am weak and i don't want to be weak. i hate him i hate him i hate him. i wish he wan;t my father, i wish that i was never born!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by partlycloudy on March 28, 2005, at 17:47:34
In reply to help » partlycloudy, posted by Geri122 on March 27, 2005, at 21:09:37
Geri, are we talking abuse here? Is your father hurting you, verbally or physically?
I think I remember that you're still in school, right? I had a really hard time keeping my poop together as I got towards the end of high school. Things at home really got worse for everyone, and I felt terrible guilt for hating my dad.
I don't know what kept me going then - I would try not to spend much time at home (not that anyone noticed). Do you have friends you can safely hang with?
I'm sorry (once again) that I didn't see your post yesterday.
Posted by Geri122 on March 29, 2005, at 20:58:06
In reply to Re: help » Geri122, posted by partlycloudy on March 28, 2005, at 17:47:34
he has never hit me, but sometimes i wish he would, it would be easier that way. i know that in some strange way he loves me, but i am hurting. it hate myself for hating him. i want to be that dady's girl, but i never will, i go through so much pain because of him, i have lost one good thing in my life that i will never get back, it hurts, i dont want to cry.
Posted by partlycloudy on March 30, 2005, at 4:55:59
In reply to Re: help, posted by Geri122 on March 29, 2005, at 20:58:06
Geri, if you are hurting this much, you deserve to get some help. If this place is your only source of support, you know all we can do is listen to you and offer advice. If you can confide in someone IRL you might be able to get "real" help, too.
And I realize that confidentiality is an issue. Do you go to church? Can you talk to your minister or is there an elder whose ear you can bend?I'm not sure how your father has hurt you - but you must know that emotional abuse is as real a thing as physical abuse, and the hurts and scars are no less real, either.
If you don't want to talk about it here, you can Babblemail me about it (click on my posting name underlined in blue) or email me directly at partlycloudy at gmail dot com. I'm here to listen and support you, and don't want you to get hurt!
Please take care,
pc
Posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 13:31:33
In reply to Re: help » Geri122, posted by partlycloudy on March 28, 2005, at 17:47:34
HELP ME. i have been trying so hard to be strong enough where i don't need to come here, but i can't do it anymore. the way i am feeling is affecting my life soo much. My friends don't want to be around mebecause of how unhappy i act, they don't even ask why, they just push me away. how do i tell peoplelike that. I am falling for this guy and he is falling for me, and this is the first time since my last thing with a guy, but he has a girl friend, in fact she is one of the friends pushing me away. I just don't know what to do anymore, i am trying so hard, i havent cut lately,but i just took a whole bottle of ibprofen, its not doing anuthing to me because i am ammune because of past incidents, but i just can't do it anymore, im scared!!!!!!!
Posted by partlycloudy on June 13, 2005, at 13:46:42
In reply to Re: help, posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 13:31:33
> HELP ME. i have been trying so hard to be strong enough where i don't need to come here, but i can't do it anymore. the way i am feeling is affecting my life soo much. My friends don't want to be around mebecause of how unhappy i act, they don't even ask why, they just push me away. how do i tell peoplelike that. I am falling for this guy and he is falling for me, and this is the first time since my last thing with a guy, but he has a girl friend, in fact she is one of the friends pushing me away. I just don't know what to do anymore, i am trying so hard, i havent cut lately,but i just took a whole bottle of ibprofen, its not doing anuthing to me because i am ammune because of past incidents, but i just can't do it anymore, im scared!!!!!!!
Geri, there is nothing wrong in needing help! This is a good place to let out your feelings and vent if you need to. Could your friend have caught on to the vibes between you and her boyfriend? She could be feeling vulnerable about her relationship and that's what you'd be picking up on.
Taking pills or cutting isn't the answer, Geri. talking to someone about how you feel is a really good start.Don't be afraid to come here and post - that's what we come here for, too.
partlycloudy
Posted by Deneb on June 13, 2005, at 13:46:43
In reply to Re: help, posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 13:31:33
Posted by Deneb on June 13, 2005, at 13:54:17
In reply to Re: help, posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 13:31:33
Hi Geri122
Sorry you feel so terrible right now and that your friends aren't being very supportive. Hope you feel better soon.
Deneb
Posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 13:58:46
In reply to Re: help » geri122, posted by partlycloudy on June 13, 2005, at 13:46:42
no she has no clue, i am positive about that, but im just not able to do this any more. imhave been trying fo too long. and i just wish it would all disappear. WHat did i do so wrong to havethis happen to me. i don't understand. i just can't do it anymore
Posted by Deneb on June 13, 2005, at 14:07:25
In reply to Re: help, posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 13:31:33
> ...i just took a whole bottle of ibprofen, its not doing anuthing to me because i am ammune because of past incidents, but i just can't do it anymore, im scared!!!!!!!
I think you should call the poison control center just to be on the safe side.
Deneb
Posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 14:08:23
In reply to Re: help » geri122, posted by Deneb on June 13, 2005, at 14:07:25
No i don't need to!
Posted by Deneb on June 13, 2005, at 14:17:37
In reply to Re: help, posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 14:08:23
> No i don't need to!
Sorry, I'm not forcing you to do anything. I just don't want you to suffer.
I know about ODs...I've done them myself. I often regret taking them. Sometimes things take unexpected turns. I know the difference between self harm and suicide attempts. It would be a shame to die accidentally.
Deneb
Posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 14:38:41
In reply to Re: Overdoses » geri122, posted by Deneb on June 13, 2005, at 14:17:37
i have this under control trust me i know the difference as well. the emotional pain is what i am scared of not the physical ones
Posted by fallsfall on June 13, 2005, at 17:35:18
In reply to Re: Overdoses, posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 14:38:41
Geri,
Please go on AIM, I'd like to talk to you.
Falls.
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 13, 2005, at 21:20:19
In reply to Re: Overdoses, posted by geri122 on June 13, 2005, at 14:38:41
"but i just took a whole bottle of ibprofen, its not doing anuthing to me because i am ammune because of past incidents"
My understanding is that just the opposite is true, although perhaps Chemist or someone could chime in here. I have heard that once you OD on ibuprofin, you damage your liver. Now that your liver has been compromised, the next OD is even more toxic to it, until you wind up on dialysis, or worse.
Please DO go to a hospital asap and let someone take care of you. The longer you wait before getting treatment, the worse the damage to your liver. Even if you feel fine right now, that does not mean you ARE fine.
Take care! Emmy
Posted by fallsfall on June 13, 2005, at 22:07:33
In reply to Re: Overdoses » geri122, posted by TofuEmmy on June 13, 2005, at 21:20:19
Geri,
Please go to the Emergency Room of your local hospital. I care about you, so please take care of yourself. You sound like you are in a lot of pain. Please let people help you with that. You've been having a hard time for a long time now. Please get some help.
(((Geri)))
Falls.
Posted by fallsfall on June 14, 2005, at 10:54:20
In reply to Re: Overdoses, posted by fallsfall on June 13, 2005, at 22:07:33
Please post to let us know how you are doing.
Posted by geri122 on June 22, 2005, at 20:58:30
In reply to Geri?, posted by fallsfall on June 14, 2005, at 10:54:20
i am sorry i haven't posted i needed to just find myself. When i post here i don't want to be lectured ok, i knmow what i am doing, i knnow the consequences i am not stupid. WHat i need is support. I am trying to gain enough strength to deal with this head on, but sometimes i am going to get pushed back. I don't know really what to do anymore. I just don't knwo what to do any more???
Posted by partlycloudy on June 23, 2005, at 7:15:47
In reply to Re: Geri?, posted by geri122 on June 22, 2005, at 20:58:30
Hey, Geri - I didn't read any lectures in this thread, just people who wanted to help you and were concerned. Giving advice about what sounded like a situation that could be dangerous. I'm glad you're OK.
Why don't you talk some more about what's going on for you? Getting it off your mind can really help sometimes.
You can babblemail or email me if you want.
This is a safe place, Geri. The posters here care about your wellbeing, OK?
Posted by Susan47 on June 23, 2005, at 20:29:09
In reply to Re: Geri? » geri122, posted by partlycloudy on June 23, 2005, at 7:15:47
We do care, I believe we do, yes. Even those of us who say dumb things, like me. And unintentionally hurt people, like me. But I will respond to a Do Not Post, I don't think I've had one yet and I'm actually really surprised about that.
Geri, my hope for you is to feel safe, safe enough to share yourself with us and to find your own really strong inner core, by knowing you. This is a wonderful place, Babble is just about the best thing that's ever happened for me.
Besides the AD's and the other.. substance.
How are you, Geri? You have a habit of disappearing .. come back...
Posted by Susan47 on June 23, 2005, at 20:29:47
In reply to Re: Geri?, posted by geri122 on June 22, 2005, at 20:58:30
Posted by geri122 on June 23, 2005, at 20:30:43
In reply to Re: Geri? » geri122, posted by partlycloudy on June 23, 2005, at 7:15:47
i just don't wanto to be like this any more. i don't want to be the weak one pretending tobe strong. I don't want to admit it because i don't wnat it. I am leaving for school on sunday and because of that i am loosing my best friend. She has been the only one i could ever turn to, and now i have to say goobye. I havent been happy for a long time, and now i have my friends telling me they don't like being around me because i am always in a bad mood. I DIDN"T ASK FOR THIS!!!!!!!!! i want to be normal again, when my biggest problem was a new zit.i just don't know what to do anymore, i can't do this, i can't pretend but i refuse to admit that i have a problem. i feel like everyone are always against me, even if they aren't, you know how hard it is to be happy with who you are when you don't even know who that is. I am scared of moving on in life because i am afraid i will fail. i don't want to be a no bosy, but i am afraid that i will. I don't know if i have the strength to carry on. I ask God every day but sometimes i feel as though he doesn't hear me or he is too busy. He is the only true one i have and now sometimes i question that. I know that is not right to say but that is how i feel. He is my father, the one i turn to for every, but sometimes i need some one here to just tell me it will be ok and wrap their arms around me and protect me!!! i just don't have that, i don't have anyone.
Posted by geri122 on June 23, 2005, at 20:39:19
In reply to Re: Geri? » geri122, posted by partlycloudy on June 23, 2005, at 7:15:47
i disappear because i am scared, i have trust issues and even if this is online i am opeing up exposing my heart and soul
Posted by crazyteresa on June 23, 2005, at 22:13:27
In reply to Re: Geri?, posted by geri122 on June 23, 2005, at 20:39:19
It is scary to trust after you've been hurt.
I'm sorry you're leaving your friend.
I'll guarantee you that God is always there and that He'll never give up on you. He does hear you! Sometimes He answers in ways we don't want to hear, and that sucks, but that's the way life is. And sometimes He'll send you to talk to babblers! ;~}
A big hug from crazy t!
Posted by fallsfall on June 24, 2005, at 21:07:40
In reply to Re: Geri?, posted by geri122 on June 22, 2005, at 20:58:30
I'm really glad that you posted. I was worried about you.
(((Geri)))
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