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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 21:55:21
I'm not a fun person to be around IRL. Today I attended a family gathering of sorts and I must have seemed very strange...I was mute most of the time and kept to myself. I even twisted my ankle while walking on the grass with my chunky heeled sandals whilst carrying a big watering can full of water and I didn't make a peep. I've fallen and twisted my ankle before (usually while wearing high heels...geez, I've got to learn how to walk in them), but I was always ok. I think maybe the extra weight of the huge can of water I was carrying made the difference this time. My ankle is sore and has swollen up and I'm limping. :-(
I'm a sad person to be around with. All my happy times come from a fantasy world within my mind. I bet if I where to attend the Babble Party in 2006 that I would be the most quiet person there. I'd slip away into nothingness as others talk and I'd realize what a horrible mistake it was. I just hope to god (just an expression) that I don't accidentally say something inappropriate, like how much I wish to die or something. :-( I think there is also a good chance that I would be really quiet and start to quietly cry by myself as I realize what a pathetic loser I was...then I'll make others terribily uncomfortable. At that point I'll have to leave and hope for the best as I wander away aimlessly as I've done in the past.
:-(
Deneb (shy_girl)
Posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 22:06:41
In reply to Bad day...feeling down :-(, posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 21:55:21
...it was very funny that my parents and I all had some sort of injury/disability at the same time. :-) My Mom has her arm in a cast because she broke her wrist in a fall at her work. My Dad's gout is acting up and walking is very painful for him, so he limps. Now I'm limping too. lol I just hope it gets better real soon...
My Mom is rubbing all sorts of strange Chinese medicines on it...it gets pretty stinky...lolDeneb
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 5, 2005, at 22:28:04
In reply to Bad day...feeling down :-(, posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 21:55:21
> I'm not a fun person to be around IRL. Today I attended a family gathering of sorts and I must have seemed very strange...I was mute most of the time and kept to myself. I even twisted my ankle while walking on the grass with my chunky heeled sandals whilst carrying a big watering can full of water and I didn't make a peep. I've fallen and twisted my ankle before (usually while wearing high heels...geez, I've got to learn how to walk in them), but I was always ok. I think maybe the extra weight of the huge can of water I was carrying made the difference this time. My ankle is sore and has swollen up and I'm limping. :-(
It's hard to feel happy when you hurt.
> I'm a sad person to be around with. All my happy times come from a fantasy world within my mind. I bet if I where to attend the Babble Party in 2006 that I would be the most quiet person there. I'd slip away into nothingness as others talk and I'd realize what a horrible mistake it was.
I would bring you a magic butter tart, and the happiness would spread from your mouth on outwards. :-)
Lar
Posted by deirdrehbrt on June 5, 2005, at 22:33:22
In reply to Re: OTOH..., posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 22:06:41
Deneb
You don't sound strange to me. When I'm at a family gathering, I'm usually the quiet one. I don't particularly like being around family. If I am attending a party, I usually try to find one person I know and hang around with them. I never realized though, that they might want to mingle. I'll have to think about that in the future.
I used to run a support group though, and I can force myself to be more social if I need to, but that's not my natural tendency. I can also be a bit of a clutz. I don't have to be wearing heels to twist my ankle... I can do that just fine in sneakers on a sidewalk... thank you very much. :-)
Thoughts of dying are always there too, even on a 'good' day, although I managed to push them aside for a couple of hours today while I was having fun with my youngest daughter. We went geocaching and had a really good time.
You sound like a really nice, really interesting person, and at a party I think I might enjoy meeting you.Dee.
Posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 22:49:03
In reply to Re: Bad day...feeling down :-( » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on June 5, 2005, at 22:28:04
>> My ankle is sore and has swollen up and I'm limping. :-(
>
> It's hard to feel happy when you hurt.(small smile)...Hmmm...I guess you're right.
> >I bet if I where to attend the Babble Party in 2006 that I would be the most quiet person there. I'd slip away into nothingness as others talk and I'd realize what a horrible mistake it was.
>
> I would bring you a magic butter tart, and the happiness would spread from your mouth on outwards. :-)Wow, would you really? Thanks Larry...I think that might just work. :-)
I think I'll be ok...you guys are great. Meeting my astronomy group was very fun...maybe it'll be the same here. :-)
Deneb...happily limping :-)
Posted by alexandra_k on June 5, 2005, at 23:10:42
In reply to Re: OTOH..., posted by deirdrehbrt on June 5, 2005, at 22:33:22
Boo!
Welcome back
:-)
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on June 6, 2005, at 1:47:15
In reply to Bad day...feeling down :-(, posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 21:55:21
I think there is also a good chance that I would be really quiet and start to quietly cry by myself as I realize what a pathetic loser I was...then I'll make others terribily uncomfortable. At that point I'll have to leave and hope for the best as I wander away aimlessly as I've done in the past.
I think.. I think
If anyone were to understand being quiet, and starting to cry by yourself it would be a group of babblers!! I mean that almost made me smile, (not in an unsympathetic way) I just wonder how many of us here haven't desperately tried to stifle tears that spring up.. at work, at family gatherings.. on the bus.. walking down the street.
Also, I find, (even when I'm nervous at first, or don't feel I'll fit in) that when I'm with a group of "depressed" or ill people I hardly ever feel that sense of isolation and innate "loserdom" :) that makes me want to cry.
There's a sense of kinship that is reassuring, and it can be sensed, it doesn't need to be spoken.
Posted by caraher on June 6, 2005, at 14:27:37
In reply to Re: Bad day...feeling down :-( » Deneb, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on June 6, 2005, at 1:47:15
> I think there is also a good chance that I would be really quiet and start to quietly cry by myself as I realize what a pathetic loser I was...then I'll make others terribily uncomfortable. At that point I'll have to leave and hope for the best as I wander away aimlessly as I've done in the past.
>
> I think.. I think
>
> If anyone were to understand being quiet, and starting to cry by yourself it would be a group of babblers!! I mean that almost made me smile, (not in an unsympathetic way) I just wonder how many of us here haven't desperately tried to stifle tears that spring up.. at work, at family gatherings.. on the bus.. walking down the street.
>
> Also, I find, (even when I'm nervous at first, or don't feel I'll fit in) that when I'm with a group of "depressed" or ill people I hardly ever feel that sense of isolation and innate "loserdom" :) that makes me want to cry.
> There's a sense of kinship that is reassuring, and it can be sensed, it doesn't need to be spoken.Just want to second those thoughts. Deneb, you seem like the kind of person I'd really like to hang around with, actually. I'm no good in a crowd but I'm OK one-on-one or with a small number of people I'm comfortable with. If I hung around "the life of the party" I'd feel like a "loser" too. Don't compare yourself to that person; you have your own strengths and it takes all kinds.
Posted by Deneb on June 6, 2005, at 15:30:27
In reply to Re: OTOH..., posted by deirdrehbrt on June 5, 2005, at 22:33:22
Thanks Dee for letting me know I'm not that strange for not interacting much with my family. I can be social at times...in my own reserved kind of way. :-)
I know, I know, it is hard to believe that I'm so shy and reserved IRL, but it is true. It is like there are two parts of me, but both are me. It would be nice for people to see both sides.
What is geocaching BTW? I don't get out much. :-)
Deneb (shy_girl)
Posted by PM80 on June 6, 2005, at 16:33:12
In reply to Re: Bad day...feeling down :-(, posted by caraher on June 6, 2005, at 14:27:37
I'm sorry you're feeling down. I've being feeling kinda down a lot lately too.
As far as social things go, you are not alone in feeling that you are or that you act differently. I'm on the opposite end of things - I usually talk a lot and am very outgoing in social situations, then I go home and wonder if I was too over the top and if everyone thinks that I am self-centered. I seriously question whether everyone will now be talking bad about me behind their backs. Did I talk too much? Too loudly? Was I irritating? Although it always seems that somehow people like having me around because often I end up being the leader and/or the lynch-pin of sorts in the plans. Everyone looks at me to make a decision. Which also sometimes freaks me out - Am I being bossy or does everyone like having me lead?
Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. Remember that people in your family do love you - but they are only human, too. It is great that you are able to express yourself so clearly in this thread.
Posted by JenStar on June 6, 2005, at 19:03:35
In reply to Bad day...feeling down :-(, posted by Deneb on June 5, 2005, at 21:55:21
hi Deneb,
sorry you had a bad time at the reunion. Sometimes those can be really stressful. And I hope your ankle feels better soon! :)
Don't worry about the babble party...people will like you just as you are. Don't slip away. You're valued here!
JenStar
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