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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mmcasey on June 16, 2003, at 14:06:33
Why do I perpetually feel like I want to escape my life? I have been in a lot of different places and situations with a lot of different people over the past 6 years, since starting college. And before I entered into most of these different situations, I always had this hope that it would be the chance for a fresh start, a chance for things to really change, a chance for me to find myself/my place. But somehow, that never happens and I end up disappointed and wanting to escape. And now, here I am in this relatively new place, starting off my new post-college "real adult" existence, and I already feel at times like I want to escape. I am probably going "home" (to where I grew up) in a few weeks, and I can hardly wait because I feel like I really need a break from being here, working, my life in general. Even though I've only been here for 8.5 months and during that time I've already gone home twice (2 weeks for Christmas and 3 days for my sister's graduation). I find the idea of staying in the same place for more than a year or two at once rather daunting, maybe because it just hasn't been that way for me since high school. But I could end up living in this area for 4 years if I do end up going to grad school here, which is the goal. Or even longer. It isn't that I don't like it here - I'm just afraid of getting sick/bored of it, which is a stupid thing to worry about, because who knows what will happen and how I might feel?
Anyways. I was feeling pretty good for the past week, I think at least in part due to Lamictal starting to work. Also, things were kind of going well last week - I took my GRE and did pretty well, I found 2 roomates to move in when my other roomates move out. These things were big stressors on me over the past month or so. So it's a relief to have them taken care of.
But now there are new issues with roomates moving in/out. And one thing happened today that upset me and has basically sparked all of this off. I don't even really want to get into it, and honestly it is NOT that big of a deal and I know that, but still it has managed to upset me, and set off sort of a cognitive downward spiral of thoughts.
I've recently decided that I have a sort of mild social phobia. Not even PHOBIA exactly, but more of a social uneasiness that doesn't make me freak out or anything (with the exception of speaking in front of people), but definitely affects the quality of my life.
I keep trying to think of these positives that can give me hope - such as, I am young and it's good that I am already trying to get things (ie, my mental health) worked out through therapy and medication. I'm lucky to have realized at an early-ish age that I need help. So, I think, maybe by the time I'm 30, I can be more happy and content with my life and not have so many issues. But then I think, that's 6 years away, which seems like plenty of time... but has anything really changed in the past 6 years? A little bit, sure I've grown and realized some things and matured... but is anything really different?
I don't know. I need to just get over this little incident from today. But I feel like, I don't want to go home (because I want to avoid my roomate), I don't want to be at work, I don't want to go anywhere else. So where do I go? What do I do?
Just some things on my mind....
Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2003, at 22:46:06
In reply to escaping my life, posted by mmcasey on June 16, 2003, at 14:06:33
Sorry, MM, that you had a rough day. Even when you start to feel better, sometimes there are a few steps back for all the steps forward. And there was bound to be a letdown after all that happened last week.
As for escaping, I think we all want to do that from time to time, no matter how terrific our life is.
Don't be hard on yourself.
Posted by whiterabbit on June 17, 2003, at 22:45:08
In reply to escaping my life, posted by mmcasey on June 16, 2003, at 14:06:33
Young one, you are doing what you're supposed to be doing and feeling how you're supposed to feel;
all of those thoughts are totally appropriate and
you're doing fine, better than you think. I guess there are people in the world who know exactly what they want to do and set a course for it with burning ambition, and they love that job for the rest of their lives. But that's relatively unusual
and the rest of us have to work it out through life experience before we settle on a direction that we want to follow. We do that by asking ourselves the questions that you're asking. As long as you continue what you're doing - paying attention to how you really feel about a situation
and trying to figure out what's making you uncomfortable about it - you'll be able to make adjustments in your lifestyle, usually small changes that don't seem incredibly important but will alter your course over time.The people that don't question enough and put their faith in "everything will work out" ...usually end up in jobs they hate, bad marriages and situations that are hard to get out of. So keep asking yourself - do I like this? What don't I like about it? Can I do something to make it better? What do I feel like I'm missing?
Now I have to do what I always do and recommend a great book. It's a timeless classic: "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie.
I first read this book in my early 20s and it helped me so much that I've toted the same ragged copy around for 20 years and I read it again when my perspective needs changing.Best wishes-
Gracie
Posted by JohnDoenut on June 19, 2003, at 16:08:32
In reply to Re: escaping my life, posted by whiterabbit on June 17, 2003, at 22:45:08
>a great book. It's a timeless classic: "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie.
>What about How To Win Friends and Influence People?! I have to read that one too!
J
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 23, 2003, at 2:58:44
In reply to Re: escaping my life, posted by JohnDoenut on June 19, 2003, at 16:08:32
> What about How To Win Friends and Influence People?! I have to read that one too!
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
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