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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 42 to 66 of 66. Go back in thread:
Posted by noa on February 20, 2002, at 17:15:45
In reply to Re: Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? 48 (nm), posted by kid47 on February 19, 2002, at 11:31:00
Just had to giggle a bit, cuz of your name (kid47)--guess you coined the name last year, eh?
Posted by noa on February 20, 2002, at 17:19:24
In reply to Re: Thoughts on Age, posted by Mark H. on February 19, 2002, at 13:15:18
LOL. Remember the old ads on tv for dishwashing soap where they'd make us guess who the mother is and who the daughter is based on their hands but of course you couldn't tell because of how wonderful the detergent was?? I laugh about those old ads all the time when I look at my hands, cuz my hands look OLD. I have that same exact feeling of looking down at my hands and thinking omigod those are old hands!
Some people think I am about 5-10 years younger than I am, but I think if they checked out the hands they'd figure out the truth.
Posted by noa on February 20, 2002, at 17:30:58
In reply to Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? I'm 52., posted by Mark H. on February 19, 2002, at 10:20:23
As for how I feel? This is so hard for me to answer. For a long time, I was aware of feeling about 19 y.o. but recently I think I noticed that I do feel older, mabye in a good way, maybe not. I dunno. The numbers don't connect for me to feeling a certain age, maybe because I've "lost" so many years to depression.
I certainly haven't achieved some of the typical milestones of my age group, and sometimes when I'm with age-mates I feel like I stand out as the "young" one (no spouse, no kids, no house, no money, etc. etc.).
People are often surprised when they learn my age, thinking of me as being about a decade younger. I think partly that is due to only a few gray hairs (although some people have assumed my hair is dyed), and not much in the way of facial wrinkles, but certainly I don't have a "youthful" body in the sense of being in shape. Physically, I am out of shape like a much older person.
I think people think I'm younger because I'm unattached and have no kids and live in a crappy little apartment. But I'll take the mistakes anyway.
As for being 20 or 24 or therabouts, I can tell you that those were damn hard years and that I think things do get somewhat better as you get into your 30's if only because you get some control over some of the basics in life. The 20-somethings here might like to take a look at the book, "Quarterlife Crisis".
Posted by IsoM on February 20, 2002, at 17:54:11
In reply to Re: Thoughts on Age » Mark H., posted by noa on February 20, 2002, at 17:19:24
That's funny that you mention your hands, Noa. I'm 52 but I never thought about how old I looked till I started work at another place & people assumed I was in my late 30's. My hands though, are another matter. Even as a kid, my hands looked much older. Now that they're in dirt so much of the day & gardening when not at work, they look about 60+. I hate lotions & have soft nails so I couldn't fix them even if I wanted to. Others tell me my hands look sore & dry but they're not really.
I think sometimes the expression on our face has a lot to do with how old we look. When I was just getting over a long bout of viral pneumonia, with my marriage breaking up, & one son suicidal & had to be hospitalised, I swear I looked *so* old. My mouth was drawn down & I had big, dark shadows under my eyes. I thought it meant I'd now look old forever. A big smile & laughter (when we can) does so much to make someone look young & attractive. I'm happy to report I smile & laugh often now.
Posted by IsoM on February 20, 2002, at 17:55:21
In reply to Re: Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? I'm 52., posted by kazoo on February 20, 2002, at 16:45:06
Kazoo, that is such a naughty but sweet story. Cracked me up. :-)
Posted by sid on February 20, 2002, at 19:27:17
In reply to Prize For Correct Guess » Dinah, posted by IsoM on February 19, 2002, at 22:18:05
Posted by sid on February 20, 2002, at 19:34:02
In reply to Re: Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? 41, posted by noa on February 20, 2002, at 17:30:58
>The numbers don't connect for me to feeling a certain age, maybe because I've "lost" so many years to depression.
I feel exactly the same way! I should be about 10 years younger.
> I certainly haven't achieved some of the typical milestones of my age group, and sometimes when I'm with age-mates I feel like I stand out as the "young" one (no spouse, no kids, no house, no money, etc. etc.).Same for me. I've studied and gotten a PhD, but that's it. I had zero ebergy for anything else!
> People are often surprised when they learn my age, thinking of me as being about a decade younger. I think partly that is due to only a few gray hairs (although some people have assumed my hair is dyed), and not much in the way of facial wrinkles, but certainly I don't have a "youthful" body in the sense of being in shape. Physically, I am out of shape like a much older person.
Same here - out of shape, but people usualy are surprised that I'm over 30 (I'm 34); they usually think about 27.
> I think people think I'm younger because I'm unattached and have no kids and live in a crappy little apartment. But I'll take the mistakes anyway.Well, tell yourself it's because you look younger - you'll feel better!
> As for being 20 or 24 or therabouts, I can tell you that those were damn hard years and that I think things do get somewhat better as you get into your 30's if only because you get some control over some of the basics in life. The 20-somethings here might like to take a look at the book, "Quarterlife Crisis".Indeed, I felt robbed of my 20's due to depression, but one thing is for sure, my 30's are better and I wouldn't want to go back.
Posted by sid on February 20, 2002, at 19:35:53
In reply to Hands and Age » noa, posted by IsoM on February 20, 2002, at 17:54:11
> I'm happy to report I smile & laugh often now.
Good for you, IsoM! Doesn't it feel good?
Posted by Reneeb on February 21, 2002, at 11:26:40
In reply to Re: Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? , posted by Anna Laura on February 19, 2002, at 10:58:39
Posted by ST on February 21, 2002, at 18:40:50
In reply to Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? I'm 52., posted by Mark H. on February 19, 2002, at 10:20:23
nm
Posted by Zo on February 22, 2002, at 1:33:45
In reply to Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? I'm 52., posted by Mark H. on February 19, 2002, at 10:20:23
Posted by medlib on February 22, 2002, at 1:33:48
In reply to Thank you!, posted by Mark H. on February 19, 2002, at 20:31:06
Hi Mark--
It's very good to see you emerge once again from your seasonal hibernation. Yeah, I'm still around--often, if no longer always, or for as long. But, since I read at least 100x faster than I write, I do little of the latter. Thanks for asking about me.
I was surprised when I saw your Q, and I wondered why you asked. Though undoubtedly the easiest to determine, chronological age seems to me the least useful of the "ages" humans calculate. Physiological, mental, emotional, social and experiential ages are all better descriptors which have greater utility. Unlike the others, chronological age has no individual predictability, cannot be changed or remedied, and is used primarily for governmental identification and social stereotyping. So, I simply do not provide personal statistics unless required by law or necessary to obtain something I want more than privacy.
Sorry for the self-indulgent explanation. Maybe it's your philosophical bent, or the fact that this forum's members are no strangers to the effects of stereotyping. In any case, it's not something I feel really strongly about, just a matter of internal consistency, I guess.
Depression, for me, has strong Rip Van Winkle characteristics. If I ever felt younger than my chronological age, it would be because I've lived only a fraction of the time I've been alive; my experiential age is barely past the teens.
Now, if I just had Noa-like economy of expression, it might have occurred to me sooner simply to fall back on my favorite social snottism, "I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering."
More midnight meanderings from medlib
(I *do* try to refrain from alliterating, I just don't succeed very often.)
Posted by Anna Laura on February 22, 2002, at 2:39:05
In reply to Re: What does chronological age tell you? » Mark H., posted by medlib on February 22, 2002, at 1:33:48
I was surprised when I saw your Q, and I wondered why you asked. Though undoubtedly the easiest to determine, chronological age seems to me the least useful of the "ages" humans calculate. Physiological, mental, emotional, social and experiential ages are all better descriptors which have greater utility.
That's absolutely true i believe.
Emotional age can vary and "experiencial age"
also as many people lead dim, flat lives.
It's like living in a suspended animation, limbo-like state where ther's no place for growth. I'm refering to "normal" persons also, as this state doesn't apply exclusively to depressed people. I believe emotions play a key role in the emotional growth, mental speculations leading to nothing.
I'm a strong advocate of the empirical school (you could prove me wrong of course, it's just my personal opinion).
I'd like to hazard a suggestion: couldn't this "anhedenoiac" state be a "modern" maladie?
It seems like passions are fading out as we progress.....We're growing like more balanced and "mature' but we're loosing our strongest feelings. Or may be it's just a projection.....There's a song from my country entitled "if i were god" (very blasphemous song indeed: it was associated as a major scandal for many years from the time it was released in the mid-seventies to the eighties) one phrase approximately says:
"If i were god i'd regret the ancient heart, that could both love and hate..."
Posted by IsoM on February 22, 2002, at 3:37:32
In reply to Re: What does chronological age tell you? » Mark H., posted by medlib on February 22, 2002, at 1:33:48
Depending on what a person is looking for, chronological age can reveal a lot.
We can't help but be shaped to a degree with the culture & time we grew up in. If one is still young, they probably wouldn't understand references made that happened before they were born. They wouldn't understand what it was like to grow up in a not very technically advanced society. (I still remember using an out-house as we never had plumbing in one of the places we lived in. And how many young people know what a slide-rule is or how to use it?) Older people will often have many different situations that arose through their life they had to deal with & would therefore, hopefully, have learned better coping skills.
On the other hand, older people are often technology-shy as compared to younger people who grew up with computers, cell phones, & lots of electronic wizardry. Young ones will often have a broader view of the world, more willing to embrace new ideas & try new things.
These are just a few things I've brought out. Generalities only. Knowing how old a person is, besides knowing where they come from, what gender they are, & 'talking' through the internet, all help to build a picture of who they are. Mind you, this is only true if one doesn't apply preconseived notions related to their chron. age only. For me, with my strong need of understanding something or somebody well, it aids in building an overall picture. Their physical appearance means nothing to me but age is beneficial anyway.
Posted by noa on February 22, 2002, at 6:22:43
In reply to Re: What does chronological age tell you? » Mark H., posted by medlib on February 22, 2002, at 1:33:48
> Depression, for me, has strong Rip Van Winkle characteristics. If I ever felt younger than my chronological age, it would be because I've lived only a fraction of the time I've been alive...
WOW. This is a wonderful statement!!! It really captures my experience, too. Thank you!!!!
Posted by Mark H. on February 22, 2002, at 14:34:25
In reply to Re: What does chronological age tell you? » Mark H., posted by medlib on February 22, 2002, at 1:33:48
Good to hear from you, MedLib!
My motives are probably child-like, in that everything in my family was a secret: age, money, sex, taxes, work, health, normal family concerns.... I think my parents were trying to protect my sister and me from the cares of ordinary life, while protecting themselves from a verbally precocious little boy who never seemed to figure out that there were topics and observations that probably shouldn't be blurted out in polite company.
I'm told that when I was about 2-1/2 or so, an elder from our church came over, and while he was waiting to see my dad, I raced from one end of the living room to the other, diving into the sofa at each end. He finally asked me what I was doing, and I replied, "Showing off."
So at 52 I find myself curious about things that probably every 11 year old already knows but I somehow missed. Age is just one of them. ;-)
By the way, when I was taking a small seminar on urban planning from Dr. Rosaria Hodgson, at our last meeting of the quarter the topic of age came up. All but one person in the class guessed I was 44 or older. Only one remembered that the first time we met I had told everyone I was in fact 27 at the time.
I was VERY VERY old by the time I was 19. At 52, I like to think that I am much younger than I have ever been in many ways. More than any other single factor, I have the love of my life, my wife Sue, to thank for that.
With kind regards,
Mark H.
Posted by Shar on February 23, 2002, at 0:28:31
In reply to Re: Age Survey -- How Old Are YOU? C'mon, Shar (nm), posted by Mark H. on February 19, 2002, at 19:45:53
Dang! Ran out of room!
Posted by Shar on February 23, 2002, at 0:42:20
In reply to Re: Thoughts on Age, posted by Mark H. on February 19, 2002, at 13:15:18
Mark H.
You can add me to the 32-50ish group. I NEVER have felt much older than my 30's...and I'd NEVER go back to any age under 35, and if I had to live that life again, as it was, I'd never go back period!I must've had my agedar on when I proposed to you, because we are very close.
>>From the way I feel at 52, I'm beginning to think there are a whole lot of 80 and 90 years olds out there who still sigh with poignant longing when they see a beautiful man or woman.
I hope there are a lot of 80 and 90 year old people who still jump each other's bones! I plan to be one of those if I live long enough.
Shar
> Wow! Look at the grouping so far. Are we just the brave ones, or does depression tend to clump around 32 and say fifty-ish. Who else is out there? Shar? Greg? Judy1? Others?
>
> Also, look at the number of people who say they feel younger than they are. Remember when you were in your 20s and you vaguely assumed people over the age of (fill in the blank) were basically asexual? From the way I feel at 52, I'm beginning to think there are a whole lot of 80 and 90 years olds out there who still sigh with poignant longing when they see a beautiful man or woman.
>
> When I was about 33, I got up the nerve to ask my only truly elderly friend how it felt to be her age. She said when she woke up in the morning, sometimes she'd say to herself, "These aren't my hands!" She still felt 19, except for the arthritis and a few vision problems.
>
> I'm VERY glad to know I'm not the only middle-aged person on this board, even though I treasure participation by younger and older people as well.
>
> Thanks for participating!
>
> Mark H.
Posted by Shar on February 23, 2002, at 0:44:55
In reply to Re: Thoughts on Age » Mark H., posted by Greg on February 19, 2002, at 14:45:10
You know us well, Greg. We could've had a lot of fun...
xoxo
Shar the Younger> OK Mark, because it's you...
>
> I'm 21....twice....and then some.
>
> I'm 46, although most days feel like 66 with an occasional 16 thrown in. I was going to stick with the 21 but I knew that Tina, Shar and Mouse would have a field day with that...
>
> I may be middle-aged but I still enjoy sex, drugs (my meds guys, jeez!) and rock-n-roll!
>
> Greg
>
> > Wow! Look at the grouping so far. Are we just the brave ones, or does depression tend to clump around 32 and say fifty-ish. Who else is out there? Shar? Greg? Judy1? Others?
> >
> > Also, look at the number of people who say they feel younger than they are. Remember when you were in your 20s and you vaguely assumed people over the age of (fill in the blank) were basically asexual? From the way I feel at 52, I'm beginning to think there are a whole lot of 80 and 90 years olds out there who still sigh with poignant longing when they see a beautiful man or woman.
> >
> > When I was about 33, I got up the nerve to ask my only truly elderly friend how it felt to be her age. She said when she woke up in the morning, sometimes she'd say to herself, "These aren't my hands!" She still felt 19, except for the arthritis and a few vision problems.
> >
> > I'm VERY glad to know I'm not the only middle-aged person on this board, even though I treasure participation by younger and older people as well.
> >
> > Thanks for participating!
> >
> > Mark H.
Posted by Shar on February 23, 2002, at 0:56:09
In reply to Re: What does chronological age tell you? » medlib, posted by Mark H. on February 22, 2002, at 14:34:25
>.....I replied, "Showing off."
LoL--this is great!
>I have the love of my life, my wife Sue, to thank for that.
Oops! I left Sue out of my original proposal! Marry me, Mark and Sue!!!
Shar
Posted by Katey on February 27, 2002, at 8:01:06
In reply to Re: What does chronological age tell you? » Mark H., posted by Shar on February 23, 2002, at 0:56:09
i think everyone knows my age, but i'll throw it out just to upset your curve. 17, although some days i feel like im atleast 65.
Posted by swank chick on February 28, 2002, at 9:22:34
In reply to Age Survey -- late as usual, posted by Katey on February 27, 2002, at 8:01:06
im suprised to see as many young ppl here! im gona add a 21 to the group!
mari
Posted by ambrosialdelight on March 3, 2002, at 13:24:36
In reply to can i be late too?, posted by swank chick on February 28, 2002, at 9:22:34
Great to see all you young 'uns! You're definitely more mature in mind, and in a very good sense. If all kids would be like this I may not be so mortally afraid of childbirth!
I am 29, and now I am considering freezing my eggs for later.
Posted by dove on March 4, 2002, at 12:06:00
In reply to Late too as usual..., posted by ambrosialdelight on March 3, 2002, at 13:24:36
It seems that I too, am always at *least* one month late on all my responses (although, I do have five kids as an excuse :o)
Anyway, my physical age is 31 yrs. old. My emotional maturity age is probably near that of a 19 year old (or less). My "responsible adult" age is definitely lower than my emotional age. My psychological age, as defined by experience and/or knowledge of psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, treatments, and meds is nearing the golden years of the senior citizen range. At least, that's how it feels most days ;o)
dove
Posted by Mark H. on March 4, 2002, at 18:21:50
In reply to Age Survey -- late as usual, posted by Katey on February 27, 2002, at 8:01:06
Thanks Katey, Swank Chick, Ambrosiadelight, Dove and everyone else who shared their age or commented on this thread.
Best wishes,
Mark H.
This is the end of the thread.
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