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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 16:24:18
pro·cras·ti·nate
verb
delay or postpone action; put off doing something.
"it won't be this price for long, so don't procrastinate"
synonyms: delay, put off doing something, postpone action, defer action, be dilatory, use delaying tactics, stall, temporize, drag one's feet/heels, take one's time, play for time, play a waiting game
"fear of failure often causes people to procrastinate"I am the worst procrastinator EVER. It was bad when I was really depressed but now that I'm feeling better, what's my excuse? I do the absolute bare minimum that needs to be done. My paperwork and lists of things waiting for me to do get shoved into a black bag.
I'm spending $15 a month because I haven't taken my truck through emissions, my "change oil light" has been on for weeks, I've had a script for blood work from my GP for at least a month, my dog desperately needs to be groomed, my truck is an absolute disaster, I haven't done my taxes, work stuff, blah blah blah.
For me I don't think its "fear of failure" ...I think I'm so used to being paralyzed as a result of my depressed state that I'm having trouble breaking free of this bad habit.
Anyone else? Any tips?
Posted by baseball55 on May 9, 2016, at 19:01:35
In reply to Procrastination, posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 16:24:18
Wow! I have a few things I procrastinate about, because I genuinely hate doing them, but for the most part, I get done what I need to.
When I was depressed, though, I put almost everything on hold. I didn't even shower.Maybe you should start with small goals, so you don't get overwhelmed and think of yourself as a hopeless procrastinator. Like, this week, I'll do one thing. Maybe get that blood test. Then, maybe if you get it done, by next week you'll feel capable of doing one more thing. That way you're doing one thing at a time, rather than feeling - o-my-god, I have so much to do!
I remember once, when I was depressed and not getting things done, my husband said you need to feel competent and the way to do that is to do something competent. So I went to the library and graded papers, which I had been putting off and putting off and feeling more and more guilty about.
Posted by Horse on May 9, 2016, at 19:32:45
In reply to Procrastination, posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 16:24:18
Is part of your dx ADHD? That makes everything worse :)
Posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 20:53:48
In reply to Re: Procrastination » J Kelly, posted by baseball55 on May 9, 2016, at 19:01:35
> When I was depressed, though, I put almost everything on hold. I didn't even shower.
This was me! It's terrible.
>
> Maybe you should start with small goals, so you don't get overwhelmed and think of yourself as a hopeless procrastinator. Like, this week, I'll do one thing. Maybe get that blood test. Then, maybe if you get it done, by next week you'll feel capable of doing one more thing. That way you're doing one thing at a time, rather than feeling - o-my-god, I have so much to do!I was thinking of just putting one or two things on my calendar each week and MAKING myself do it. Maybe once I get started I'll be able to continue.
>
> I remember once, when I was depressed and not getting things done, my husband said you need to feel competent and the way to do that is to do something competent. So I went to the library and graded papers, which I had been putting off and putting off and feeling more and more guilty about.I know this is true. I don't have a husband to hold me accountable, so I think I'll bring it up at my therapy session this week. Maybe she can help me with a calendar with a to do list.
Thanks :)
Jade
Posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 20:58:33
In reply to Re: Procrastination » J Kelly, posted by Horse on May 9, 2016, at 19:32:45
> Is part of your dx ADHD? That makes everything worse :)
Yes but its ADD. Ritalin always helped me with my procrastination but my pdoc isn't going to prescribe it with an MAOI. And I'm not giving up Nardil so I'll need learn to adjust my behavior.
Jade
Posted by baseball55 on May 10, 2016, at 19:02:33
In reply to Re: Procrastination » baseball55, posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 20:53:48
> I was thinking of just putting one or two things on my calendar each week and MAKING myself do it. Maybe once I get started I'll be able to continue.
I think that's the wrong attitude. If I force myself to do A, then maybe I'll get going and do X, Y and Z. I would approach it like AA does - one thing at a time. Do A. Only A. Don't think about ow doing A might give you the motivation to do X, etc. Don't worry about getting motivated at all. Just worry about doing A.
I found that when I've been depressed, that was the best I could do. I need to get my grades in, so I'll force myself to do that, but then all bets were off. Also, does everything on your list really need to be done? Does your truck need to be clean, for example?
I had a therapist who told me that I needed to be neutral about where I was - not stress myself out by telling myself I'm falling apart, can't function, can't go on like this. Just tell myself, okay. The best I can do today is sleep all day and maybe wash a few dishes. That's the best I can do today. Maybe another day I can do more. I found that advice very helpful.
>
> >
> > I remember once, when I was depressed and not getting things done, my husband said you need to feel competent and the way to do that is to do something competent. So I went to the library and graded papers, which I had been putting off and putting off and feeling more and more guilty about.
>
> I know this is true. I don't have a husband to hold me accountable, so I think I'll bring it up at my therapy session this week. Maybe she can help me with a calendar with a to do list.
>
Definitely bring it up in therapy. Having someone know what's going on and knowing they'll ask about it next week can be helpful.
>
> Jade
>
>
Posted by Horse on May 10, 2016, at 20:13:08
In reply to Re: Procrastination » J Kelly, posted by baseball55 on May 10, 2016, at 19:02:33
I like this advice.
> > I was thinking of just putting one or two things on my calendar each week and MAKING myself do it. Maybe once I get started I'll be able to continue.
>
> I think that's the wrong attitude. If I force myself to do A, then maybe I'll get going and do X, Y and Z. I would approach it like AA does - one thing at a time. Do A. Only A. Don't think about ow doing A might give you the motivation to do X, etc. Don't worry about getting motivated at all. Just worry about doing A.
>
> I found that when I've been depressed, that was the best I could do. I need to get my grades in, so I'll force myself to do that, but then all bets were off. Also, does everything on your list really need to be done? Does your truck need to be clean, for example?
>
> I had a therapist who told me that I needed to be neutral about where I was - not stress myself out by telling myself I'm falling apart, can't function, can't go on like this. Just tell myself, okay. The best I can do today is sleep all day and maybe wash a few dishes. That's the best I can do today. Maybe another day I can do more. I found that advice very helpful.
>
> >
> > >
> > > I remember once, when I was depressed and not getting things done, my husband said you need to feel competent and the way to do that is to do something competent. So I went to the library and graded papers, which I had been putting off and putting off and feeling more and more guilty about.
> >
> > I know this is true. I don't have a husband to hold me accountable, so I think I'll bring it up at my therapy session this week. Maybe she can help me with a calendar with a to do list.
> >
> Definitely bring it up in therapy. Having someone know what's going on and knowing they'll ask about it next week can be helpful.
> >
> > Jade
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by J Kelly on May 10, 2016, at 21:40:02
In reply to Re: Procrastination » baseball55, posted by Horse on May 10, 2016, at 20:13:08
> I like this advice.
I do too :) Thanks baseball.
Jade
>
>
> > > I was thinking of just putting one or two things on my calendar each week and MAKING myself do it. Maybe once I get started I'll be able to continue.
> >
> > I think that's the wrong attitude. If I force myself to do A, then maybe I'll get going and do X, Y and Z. I would approach it like AA does - one thing at a time. Do A. Only A. Don't think about ow doing A might give you the motivation to do X, etc. Don't worry about getting motivated at all. Just worry about doing A.
> >
> > I found that when I've been depressed, that was the best I could do. I need to get my grades in, so I'll force myself to do that, but then all bets were off. Also, does everything on your list really need to be done? Does your truck need to be clean, for example?
> >
> > I had a therapist who told me that I needed to be neutral about where I was - not stress myself out by telling myself I'm falling apart, can't function, can't go on like this. Just tell myself, okay. The best I can do today is sleep all day and maybe wash a few dishes. That's the best I can do today. Maybe another day I can do more. I found that advice very helpful.
> >
> > >
> > > >
> > > > I remember once, when I was depressed and not getting things done, my husband said you need to feel competent and the way to do that is to do something competent. So I went to the library and graded papers, which I had been putting off and putting off and feeling more and more guilty about.
> > >
> > > I know this is true. I don't have a husband to hold me accountable, so I think I'll bring it up at my therapy session this week. Maybe she can help me with a calendar with a to do list.
> > >
> > Definitely bring it up in therapy. Having someone know what's going on and knowing they'll ask about it next week can be helpful.
> > >
> > > Jade
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Tabitha on May 11, 2016, at 13:01:31
In reply to Procrastination, posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 16:24:18
I think "procrastination" is a judgmental word for a very common human characteristic. I struggle with this as well. I always expect myself to do more than I actually do. Sometimes I get negative consequences for delaying action. Like right now, I need to buy an airline ticket for a trip, and the longer I delay the higher the price will be.
I honestly don't have any foolproof strategies. Things that seem to work for a while don't work at other times. I have learned that harm reduction helps. Like get your bills on auto-pay. But then if you don't review statements, you might miss incorrect charges. However I think the possibility of over-paying is lower than the likelihood of missing payments if I rely on myself to pay manually.
Other things that seem to have helped in the past
1) Make a shorter to-do list with just the most urgent things. Keep it in front of you.
2) Move all the non-essential things to a separate to-do list. Accept that those things may *never* get done.
3) Force yourself to do one of the urgent things. Accept that it's going to be very uncomfortable to do (I get high anxiety and nausea sometimes from forcing progress on tasks).
4) Create deadline pressure. Like I will finally clean my house if guests are coming.
5) Do the most appealing tasks first. It's not the smartest strategy, since the important stuff doesn't get done, but it's better than nothing. Like when taxes are due, I would rather clean house or organize things. Anything but starting taxes.
Posted by J Kelly on May 11, 2016, at 15:28:21
In reply to Re: Procrastination » J Kelly, posted by Tabitha on May 11, 2016, at 13:01:31
> I think "procrastination" is a judgmental word for a very common human characteristic. I struggle with this as well. I always expect myself to do more than I actually do. Sometimes I get negative consequences for delaying action. Like right now, I need to buy an airline ticket for a trip, and the longer I delay the higher the price will be.
>
> I honestly don't have any foolproof strategies. Things that seem to work for a while don't work at other times. I have learned that harm reduction helps. Like get your bills on auto-pay. But then if you don't review statements, you might miss incorrect charges. However I think the possibility of over-paying is lower than the likelihood of missing payments if I rely on myself to pay manually.
>
> Other things that seem to have helped in the past
> 1) Make a shorter to-do list with just the most urgent things. Keep it in front of you.
> 2) Move all the non-essential things to a separate to-do list. Accept that those things may *never* get done.
> 3) Force yourself to do one of the urgent things. Accept that it's going to be very uncomfortable to do (I get high anxiety and nausea sometimes from forcing progress on tasks).
> 4) Create deadline pressure. Like I will finally clean my house if guests are coming.
> 5) Do the most appealing tasks first. It's not the smartest strategy, since the important stuff doesn't get done, but it's better than nothing. Like when taxes are due, I would rather clean house or organize things. Anything but starting taxes.Hi Tabitha,
Thanks for the tips!
I think I'm gonna start with just getting one thing done as both you and baseball recommended. That seems the least overwhelming. Now I can procrastinate about choosing what that will be :)
Jade
Posted by baseball55 on May 11, 2016, at 20:47:29
In reply to Re: Procrastination » Tabitha, posted by J Kelly on May 11, 2016, at 15:28:21
> I think I'm gonna start with just getting one thing done as both you and baseball recommended. That seems the least overwhelming. Now I can procrastinate about choosing what that will be :)
>
Hah!
Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 16, 2016, at 20:44:46
In reply to Procrastination, posted by J Kelly on May 9, 2016, at 16:24:18
procrastination for me, is knowing when it's due, and somehow say"ill get it done, it will be ok" then when time comes it's unpleasant, and rushed
it's kinda like a credit card, you have credit (time) loaned to you but you will have to pay it back, to get a task done.....the payment due date does not change
sometimes procrastinating is enjoyable to me, i know how wacky that sounds but i realize how much enjoyment i have during the period of not doing what im suppost to be doing.....
suggestions.....guess is dealing with the unpleasant feeling, more like discipline, that's how I view overcoming it
Posted by J Kelly on May 18, 2016, at 15:18:37
In reply to Re: Procrastination, posted by rjlockhart37 on May 16, 2016, at 20:44:46
> procrastination for me, is knowing when it's due, and somehow say"ill get it done, it will be ok" then when time comes it's unpleasant, and rushed
Exactly!
>
> it's kinda like a credit card, you have credit (time) loaned to you but you will have to pay it back, to get a task done.....the payment due date does not change
>
> sometimes procrastinating is enjoyable to me, i know how wacky that sounds but i realize how much enjoyment i have during the period of not doing what im suppost to be doing.....Yup :)
I like to do things like invite family over cause then I'm forced to clean my place.
>
> suggestions.....guess is dealing with the unpleasant feeling, more like discipline, that's how I view overcoming itYes its the discipline, some of us have more than others!
Jade
This is the end of the thread.
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