Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by moose1 on July 5, 2012, at 11:15:23
Hello,
I am new here and this is my first post. I have had night-time anxiety/panic attacks for many years. For me, I experience them as intense waves of fear, impending doom, and a feeling that I'm going lose my mind. I know a lot of other people experience them this way.
But now, there's an added feature that is far more awful. I can only describe this feeling as utter hopelessness and despair. I know this sounds like major depression, but the thing is, I have NO idea what it's about. The external realities of my life are good. Job, finances, friends, etc. All good.
But I'm literally incapacitated by these bouts of despair and hopelessness and it's making me crazy because I don't know what they're about. It's like waking up in the morning and you realize that you're missing a limb for no reason.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? I'm wondering if some kind of unconscious trauma is at play, and wondering if some kind of somatic body therapy or EMDR might help me understand things better.
Thanks for any feedback.
Moose
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2012, at 13:54:07
In reply to Despair with no apparent cause?, posted by moose1 on July 5, 2012, at 11:15:23
It's possible.
But I suspect it's also possible to have sudden intense feelings that originate physically. Then we search to find meaning in them.
When you say bouts, do you mean discrete incidents? Sudden onset, sudden end?
Posted by moose1 on July 5, 2012, at 14:54:43
In reply to Re: Despair with no apparent cause? » moose1, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2012, at 13:54:07
Hi Dinah,
Sudden onset, yes, but not sudden end. These feelings can last literally for weeks on end. I've been in therapy for 4 years trying to get to the root of the problem. I've made some progress, but still haven't been able to, a) see a cause and, b) do anything about the feelings.
And there is a physical component in that all of this takes place in the front of my head. Meaning, the front of my head often feels like it's full of wet concrete, or that I'm wearing an old fashioned diving bell. There's a lot of anxiety and fear involved, not surprisingly.
Thanks.
Posted by Tabitha on July 5, 2012, at 23:41:53
In reply to Re: Despair with no apparent cause?, posted by moose1 on July 5, 2012, at 14:54:43
Hi moose,
Have you had medical testing to rule out possible physical causes? It really does sound unusual compared to what I know of mood disorders and PTSD. I don't know if it's typical of panic disorder though.I've had bouts of hopelessness and fear, but they don't stay at an intense level for weeks and weeks. I find the best coping technique is to think of it as brain junk. It's a mixed up signal, like what happens when people develop chronic pain conditions. Your brain is telling you life is hopeless and there's a big scary thing happening, but there's really nothing happening. I find it more useful to focus on functioning despite the brain junk than to probe for psychological causes.
Posted by moose1 on July 6, 2012, at 7:59:00
In reply to Re: Despair with no apparent cause?, posted by Tabitha on July 5, 2012, at 23:41:53
Hi Tabitha,
I have had some testing done. I've had my thyroid tested as well as blood tests to rule out any kind of hyper or hypo glycemia. Physically, I'm in perfect health.
Interesting that you mention chronic pain. I had chronic low back pain for YEARS, and then once the anxiety and depression became a more or less chronic thing, no more back pain. It's like my brain is substituting one chronic thing for another.
Posted by Phillipa on July 6, 2012, at 12:20:06
In reply to Re: Despair with no apparent cause?, posted by moose1 on July 6, 2012, at 7:59:00
Is this called the Gates theory? And with me I didn't know had back pain till went off cymbalta.So I guess this was blocking pain for me. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on July 6, 2012, at 12:24:38
In reply to Despair with no apparent cause?, posted by moose1 on July 5, 2012, at 11:15:23
Do you currently have a therapist?
Also, have you had a sleep study? The fact that your panic attacks come on at night might be due to apnea.
Posted by moose1 on July 6, 2012, at 19:55:16
In reply to Re: Despair with no apparent cause? » moose1, posted by Dinah on July 6, 2012, at 12:24:38
Yes, I have a therapist who I've been seeing for four years, but I am considering leaving him because he's never felt like the right fit for me, despite having a lot of great qualities.
I did a sleep study two years ago at a very well regarded sleep clinic. It was hard to relax the first night, but overall, no problems with apnea.
Posted by 64bowtie on July 14, 2012, at 17:43:34
In reply to Re: Despair with no apparent cause?, posted by Tabitha on July 5, 2012, at 23:41:53
» Tabitha » Thanks for folks like you being here... And, thanks for being patient with likes of me...
Regression therapists can even take a patient back past the point of their original "denial"; perhaps to age 6 months... And, if they "follow the bouncing ball" and have a clear memory of all the twists and turns back to today, they might be able to get out of their own way in order to find their peace and happiness and visions of their possible future...
Except, what you said so eloquently, in one sentence and in the here and now, makes much better sense... There can be a time for psychological probing, but the simple stuff can just be kept simple and still produce beautiful and lasting outcomes...
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