Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Annabelle Smith on January 16, 2011, at 15:01:16
I just needed to write on here to say that I am having a really hard time. I get this feeling of being on the edge of a void or something. I feel like I am fighting for my life.
I just started what is going to be a really tough academic semester. I don't think I can handle it. I saw my therapist on Friday afternoon. My therapist mentioned the option of dropping the semester and taking time off-- but that would mess up a lot of things. Being here is going to mess up a lot of things too. I am trying to get help-- really, I am.
But there are so many endings on the horizon. Something feels really wrong-- I don't think I am thinking straight.
Time just goes on and on and on and on and on.
And I want it to stop for a minute.
I need a breather. I need a break. I am exhausted.I have been feeling somewhat not safe, but I am not sure. The feelings come and go. Sometimes I think I am fine; and other times I feel close to harm.
This is really hard-- and I can only see it getting worse over the next few months.
Posted by Annabelle Smith on January 16, 2011, at 18:48:22
In reply to hard time, posted by Annabelle Smith on January 16, 2011, at 15:01:16
Why is it when a very elderly person dies, the people around them treat it as "normal" and talk about how he or she was tired and ready to go? I would say that an increasing number of people have no problem with euthenasia in certain circumstances.
With that kind of reasoning, why can't someone younger also be tired and ready to go-- and why couldn't someone help them do it painlessly so they don't have to add more pain and suffering to their life? What the f*ck is 40 or 50 extra years anyway? More f*ck*ng years to suffer.
I f*ck*ng want out. Dammit. I want out. I am tired.
I read on here about all of the therapy that you all have had-- I am not allowed that. It hurts me to read. I am happy for the help you have been able to find, but I must say that sometimes I feel jealous. I am f*ck*ng leaving my city and the only person who can help me and feel like I will be annhilated, like thrown onto the sidewalk to be alone and f*ck*d up forever. I want out.
Posted by Annabelle Smith on January 16, 2011, at 19:45:34
In reply to Why?, posted by Annabelle Smith on January 16, 2011, at 18:48:22
I am sorry for being rude in what I said above
Posted by obsidian on January 16, 2011, at 20:18:51
In reply to sorry..., posted by Annabelle Smith on January 16, 2011, at 19:45:34
You sound sad, angry, despairing. You have invested much in your therapy, and I wish things were easier for you. Don't give up.
Posted by Annabelle Smith on January 16, 2011, at 20:26:50
In reply to Re: sorry... » Annabelle Smith, posted by obsidian on January 16, 2011, at 20:18:51
Thank you, Sid. All of the above
This is the end of the thread.
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