![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 13:59:10
I have been seeing my T for a total of 7years now and b/c of major depression, i've been seeing him on a daily basis for the past several months. I'm just starting to feel some "mistrust" issues with him, in the last day or so. I don't even know if these are valid b/c it's not like he lied to me...maybe i'm just feeling insecure with our relationship.
I'm wondering, how do i start talking about this with my T? Has anyone had experiences of mistrust and brought it up with your T and had a positive outcome? I think i just need to discuss our relationship more with my T as the daily sessions has brought me closer to him so maybe i'm taking things he says more personally than i ought to. Can anyone help me?
Posted by sigismund on August 5, 2010, at 16:17:53
In reply to How do I start??, posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 13:59:10
>Has anyone had experiences of mistrust and brought it up with your T and had a positive outcome?
I would have thrown in something like
>If anyone should harm a hair on the heads of these little ones it were better that he had a millstone put around his neck and drowned in the depths of the sea
and see how that went down.A better idea might be to live with your feeling of mistrust. Just let it rest in you. There is nothing wrong with it necessarily. Just let it be in you and continue, bear the feeling and don't ask to be relieved of it. And see if the feeling is right or wrong. Maybe.
Posted by sigismund on August 5, 2010, at 18:53:01
In reply to How do I start??, posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 13:59:10
Augie, you're new!
Welcome to Babble.
Posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 20:49:12
In reply to Re: How do I start??, posted by sigismund on August 5, 2010, at 18:53:01
> Augie, you're new!
>
> Welcome to Babble.Thank you! and thanks for your reply to my question. Thing is, I have to get this out into the open with my T for the sake of our therapeutic relationship.
I talked to him this evening about it and it actually went well. I feel better now.
Posted by violette on August 5, 2010, at 20:59:27
In reply to How do I start??, posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 13:59:10
> I'm wondering, how do i start talking about this with my T? Has anyone had experiences of mistrust and brought it up with your T and had a positive outcome? I think i just need to discuss our relationship more with my T as the daily sessions has brought me closer to him so maybe i'm taking things he says more personally than i ought to. Can anyone help me?
Well my T knew I didn't trust him and as a result, gave me tons of reassurance. I did not tell him I didn't trust him though-he sensed it through my defense mechanisms and other ways.
Sometimes when things are difficult to bring up-I say I have something to tell him that's difficult to talk about. So then we talk about why it's difficult to talk about-w/o mentioning the actual subject. Then it leads to direct converxsation about the topic anyway.
Another thing you could do is test him-say little snippets of your concern w/o full disclosure. It's always best to be direct, but fears are fears, so little things could build courage. You could say, for example, is it common for a patient to not fully trust a therapist who they've seen for x # of years? He may say something to make you feel more comfortable. Like, yes, some patients never trust due to their adverse childhood experiences...etc...etc..he could say something that would help you feel safer which may encourage you to express the fears.
I've never had sessions more than once a week, so I don't have much to help you out. Now that I think about it, however, I did not always tell T of my distrust fears directly, though I did sometimes...I have told him after the fact on several occasions. Regardless, everything I bring up comes out positive in the end as he says any and all feelings are welcome. And it is true. I bet your T thinks the same.
The closeness from the extra sessions may be triggering, or so I'd imagine, rather than you're "taking things personally"; it might be attachment fears....Hope you are able to talk to him. You might feel alot better; it just might involve building up more courage to do so? Maybe a little at a time would help?
Posted by violette on August 5, 2010, at 21:00:30
In reply to Re: How do I start??, posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 20:49:12
Posted by augie42 on August 5, 2010, at 22:18:52
In reply to Re: How do I start?? » augie42, posted by violette on August 5, 2010, at 20:59:27
violette,
you hit the nail on the head when you said "attachment fears"; i have attachment trauma which includes insecure attachment issues. Right now, my T is my closest attachment so we discussed today that i've re-created a scenario with T that i had created in the past with my other attachments (mother and ex-boyfriend).
Thank you for your feedback!
Posted by sassyfrancesca on August 6, 2010, at 12:14:03
In reply to Re: How do I start??, posted by sigismund on August 5, 2010, at 16:17:53
Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are......simply discuss how you are feeling with him.
My t and have had disagreements and I tell him. We have always worked it out. One thing he has said and I like is: "How could I have handled that better?!" I always tell him what I would have done.
If there is something bothering you and you don't address it, it will just grow and you will become more agitated and fruststrated.
I believe in addressing things, so they don't get out of hand.
I would not live with feelings of mistrust.
Posted by augie42 on August 6, 2010, at 13:24:49
In reply to Re: How do I start?? » sigismund, posted by sassyfrancesca on August 6, 2010, at 12:14:03
i totally agree with you. i could not live in therapy with feelings of mistrust or even if something just feels amiss. i always have to get it out of my system and see where it will go from there. therapy is hard work as it is.
Posted by sigismund on August 6, 2010, at 17:43:21
In reply to Re: How do I start?? » sigismund, posted by sassyfrancesca on August 6, 2010, at 12:14:03
I guess I was feeling that feelings of mistrust might or might not reflect something important. If in fact they are justified feelings, it might be better not to share them. I understand that we rightly want concord and that mistrust is unpleasant, but just because it is is not a good reason to try to get rid of it too quickly, IMO.
That's how I'd do it now, anyway. Obviously this would be a passing thing.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.