Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 1:08:08
everything is so hard, I don't feel safe most of the time
people are frightening
no, I am not suicidal, just afraid, ashamed and feeling helpless
Posted by Dinah on February 16, 2010, at 11:01:11
In reply to I'm not sure I am meant for this world...., posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 1:08:08
Some people are frightening.
Others can be kind. Wonderful enough to humble even.
The situation you're in seems very very stressful. You might not be able to change the people around you. Is it worth seeing if you can find another corner? Is your work the kind that you can do elsewhere in a better environment?
I long ago decided that part of the key to mental health for me was to make sure I was careful about the environment I put myself in. I don't handle stress very well long term.
Is there any way you can find a place better suited to you?
Posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 13:12:18
In reply to Or maybe just not your corner of it » obsidian, posted by Dinah on February 16, 2010, at 11:01:11
> Some people are frightening.
>
> Others can be kind. Wonderful enough to humble even.
>
> The situation you're in seems very very stressful. You might not be able to change the people around you. Is it worth seeing if you can find another corner? Is your work the kind that you can do elsewhere in a better environment?
>
> I long ago decided that part of the key to mental health for me was to make sure I was careful about the environment I put myself in. I don't handle stress very well long term.
>
> Is there any way you can find a place better suited to you?I am trying, pursuing other possibilities, but I am limited. I've got to go back to school, but I don't know for what, and that's not going to be an immediate solution.
I feel trapped and helpless. I'm going to be as invisible and benign as I can make myself. I'm as benign as they come already (at least I think so), but I'll be the walking on eggshells type of benign.
I need a supportive environment to be sure.
I'm feeling the "something is radically wrong with me and I'm a freak" thing...not good.
thanks dinah,
sid
Posted by Dinah on February 16, 2010, at 17:56:10
In reply to Re: Or maybe just not your corner of it » Dinah, posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 13:12:18
Definitely you are not a freak. Not every environment is for every person. It sounds like this is a rather unpleasant environment, and is likely better for the interpersonally less sensitive person.
Until you find your way to a better place, can you do things outside work to provide a sanctuary from the day? What helps you relax?
Posted by rnny on February 16, 2010, at 21:05:06
In reply to I'm not sure I am meant for this world...., posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 1:08:08
I have felt this way. While I described it a variety of ways, it boiled down to severe, severe anxiety and panic about life.
Posted by sigismund on February 17, 2010, at 3:03:48
In reply to Or maybe just not your corner of it » obsidian, posted by Dinah on February 16, 2010, at 11:01:11
The odd thing is that the world is full of good people.
Something happened, I guess.
Posted by sigismund on February 17, 2010, at 3:12:42
In reply to I'm not sure I am meant for this world...., posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 1:08:08
"There's a piece that was torn from the morning
And it hangs in the gallery of frost."
LCCan't get it out of my head.
Posted by Sigismund on February 22, 2010, at 2:46:59
In reply to I'm not sure I am meant for this world...., posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 1:08:08
Some of this is quoted in the preface or whatever the right word is of The Quiet American, which, being in Vietnam, I have read. Anyway, I thought you might find it interesting. It's from the 1850s from a really long poem, I think. It's by AH Clough
There are two different kinds, I believe, of human attraction:
One which simply disturbs, unsettles, and makes you uneasy,
And another that poises, retains, and fixes and holds you.
I have no doubt, for myself, in giving my voice for the latter.
I do not wish to be moved, but growing where I was growing,
There more truly to grow, to live where as yet I had languished.
I do not like being moved: for the will is excited; and action
Is a most dangerous thing; I tremble for something factitious,
Some malpractice of heart and illegitimate process;
We are so prone to these things, with our terrible notions of duty.
Posted by floatingbridge on March 2, 2010, at 17:45:14
In reply to I'm not sure I am meant for this world...., posted by obsidian on February 16, 2010, at 1:08:08
Sid, I don't know your situation-- but could maybe have written something similar, though I sense you may be more introverted than myself. I don't handle stress well, either. I've attributed my 'freakishness' to abuse and sensitivity. However, I would never use that terminology on you or anyone else here.
Sometimes I think of editing work, or something private and self-directed. Just talking can wipe me out. Good luck to you finding an optimal, appreciative environment.
Two quotes:
One, a song title: Help, I'm Alive
Two, a NYer cartoon:
An alien in a lab coat writing on a prescription pad. A man sitting on the exam table. "I'm going to give you something for your humanity."
Posted by floatingbridge on March 2, 2010, at 17:46:41
In reply to Re: I'm not sure I am meant for this world.... » obsidian, posted by Sigismund on February 22, 2010, at 2:46:59
Sigi, are you a veteran?
Posted by sigismund on March 4, 2010, at 7:28:30
In reply to Re: I'm not sure I am meant for this world.... » obsidian, posted by Sigismund on February 22, 2010, at 2:46:59
Hi FB
No, I'm not.
I was one of those walking down the streets shouting
One side right one side wrong
Victory to the Viet Cong
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