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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 22:07:51
I say "wrong" but it could mean anything. Whatever word you want. Anyone that has read my posts know I have had a very, very long journey in finding a replacement therapist for my T that retired. I have found one and today was our third session. On our first session she asked if I would sign a waiver to let her contact my retired T to ask for "tips"? on how to help me. I wasn't sure if I liked that idea because my old T is retired now! I felt strange her getting a call at home about me. So new T said to think about it. Went back second time and said it was fine, to go ahead and contact her. When I went in today (3rd visit) new T said she and old T had made contact by phone and she told me everything my old T said on the phone! Such as
"She needs to be treated with respect" and "If you mess up, just admit it if she confronts you. Don't bother trying to wiggle your way out of it" and so on. Wasn't that information my old T meant for the ears of my new T, and not my ears? I felt the new T was kind of breaking confidentiaity of what my old T was saying to her. I am not trying to be picky about this, I am really not. I am worried that "if" she breached a confidentiality there, she might breach one with me down the road. That's all.
Posted by emmanuel98 on February 13, 2010, at 0:59:24
In reply to Do you see anything 'wrong' with this?, posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 22:07:51
Why should a conversation about you between your old T and new T be kept from you? I would think you'd be glad that your new T told you what the old T said and see it as treating you with trust. How is it breaking confidentiality, since you are the subject of the conversation and have a direct interest in what was said? Unless you were upset by the comments your old T made, in which case maybe sharing them with you was poor judgement? Were you? They sound like pretty harmless comments.
Posted by rnny on February 13, 2010, at 3:34:23
In reply to Re: Do you see anything 'wrong' with this?, posted by emmanuel98 on February 13, 2010, at 0:59:24
That's true and thank you for your opinion. I have just been a nervous wreck since "finding" a new T and thiking, "is this the person I am going to be working with for a long time" and so forth. Very worked up on edge.
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2010, at 11:22:18
In reply to Do you see anything 'wrong' with this?, posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 22:07:51
I agree with Emmanuel.
I really don't like people talking about me, and I'd have likely made a point of insisting that it be on conference call, or at least of knowing exactly what was said.
If you didn't want to hear what your old therapist said about you, you could have politely requested that she not tell you when she started the topic. And perhaps she ought to have asked first.
Nothing your old therapist was negative so, thank heavens, nothing she said could disrupt the memories of a good relationship.
I'm sorry your old therapist retired. :( It's a big fear of mine.
Posted by emilyp on February 14, 2010, at 22:49:24
In reply to Do you see anything 'wrong' with this?, posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 22:07:51
Please don't take this the wrong way. But is it possible that you are overly focused on the negative when it comes to a new therapist? That is, since she is not your old therapist, she cannot be any good. I know it is hard. But your new therapist will never be the old one. All you can do is make the most of the situation that you have. Instead of focusing on everything wrong that this therapist does, perhaps there are some good things about her that are different from your old therapist. Your old therapist was not perfect although it may have seemed that way. The new therapist will not be perfect either. But you don't make it worse on yourself by focusing on the negative.
And remember, therapists are people too. They will from time to time, disappoint patients, hurt patients, not respond properly or respond poorly. If it happens all the time, that is one thing. But part of therapy is learning how to strengthen interpersonal skills. No one in your life is perfect (well at least not in mine). If you learn to manage the relationship with your therapist and actually find value in it, you can transfer those skills to the outside and apply to other relationships.
This is the end of the thread.
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