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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 1:55:40
I seem to have more energy, more motivation, but I absolutely hate myself, and I feel like I may be seeing things more clearly, and so I'm feeling quite hopeless
I feel trapped, utterly and completely and so insignificant
sorry for the downer post
I just can't say it anywhere else
hoping this gets a bit better
-ob-structed
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2010, at 8:03:00
In reply to I'm not feeling that great........, posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 1:55:40
((( Sid ))))
I hate to be reductionist, but have you changed your meds lately? Or had some other biological shifts that might be influencing your outlook? I only ask because it's what I try to ask myself when my mood shifts.
I hope you feel better soon, and I wish I could help more. If you need someone to talk to, shout out and I'll try to meet you in chat.
Posted by Verloren on February 1, 2010, at 13:56:28
In reply to I'm not feeling that great........, posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 1:55:40
Sid,
Sorry you're not feeling so good right now.
Has something significant happened? Changes at work or with family & friends?
Or are you needing something to change? Is it time for a new job, new hobby, different friends? Are you working out or exercising. Despite my resistance, exercising does seem to elevate my mood. Maybe with your extra energy you could do something to shake up your work out routine?
I find when I'm feeling this way I try to look at the moment for what it is - just a moment of my life that will one day pass and possibly be forgotten. I totally know that's easier said than done so believe me, I'm not trying to say feeling better is as simple as that.
No need to apologize, you can say whatever you need. We're here to listen and be here for you.
I am confident this will get better. And if my confidence is all we have to go on right now then that's ok. I will be confident for you for as long as you need me to be.
You ARE significant. Let me just say that again, YOU are significant.
Be Well Sid,
-Verloren
Posted by Sigismund on February 1, 2010, at 22:50:38
In reply to I'm not feeling that great........, posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 1:55:40
So you increased your Lamictal and you have more energy, see things more clearly and feel worse.
I wouldn't worry about being insignificant. That's the least of it.
Why do you hate yourself?
You have a voice that is quite your own, unpredictable, interesting, quirky (quirky? are you quirky? maybe we should forget the quirky, which means unhelpfully having or full of quirks.).
What did you feel like before the meds? Bloody awful?
I'm just sceptical as to the benefits, not that I have anything against them in theory.
I take it that you are kinda trapped.
Posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 23:36:33
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2010, at 8:03:00
lamictal is up, enhancing my irritable and angry feelings
I hate being angry, I hate being irritable
I am now listening to a self help CD in the car, perspective, perspective, perspective
I'm better than last night thank goodness
-sid
Posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 23:39:25
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........ » obsidian, posted by Verloren on February 1, 2010, at 13:56:28
thanks :-)
it is time for a change, but this roller coaster has got to slow down a bit, I'm going a little off the rails
I'm sedated right now...see you soon,
sid
Posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 23:46:44
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........, posted by Sigismund on February 1, 2010, at 22:50:38
> So you increased your Lamictal and you have more energy, see things more clearly and feel worse.
>
> I wouldn't worry about being insignificant. That's the least of it.
>
> Why do you hate yourself?
>
> You have a voice that is quite your own, unpredictable, interesting, quirky (quirky? are you quirky? maybe we should forget the quirky, which means unhelpfully having or full of quirks.).I don't know sig, can't tell with me being me and all, I figure I just don't fit, and am emotionally a bit high maintenance
> What did you feel like before the meds? Bloody awful?yeah, but awful comes in all different shades
> I'm just sceptical as to the benefits, not that I have anything against them in theory.
Yeah, I don't know, I want to chuck the whole lot of them often, but what keeps me on them is just wanting to smooth the corners a bit, take just a bit of the sting out
> I take it that you are kinda trapped.
yes
Posted by rnny on February 2, 2010, at 0:09:48
In reply to I'm not feeling that great........, posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 1:55:40
You sound depressed. Are you normally "this" depressed? I was depressed for a very long time so I was always depressed so to speak but more so than at other times. Have you been this depressed in the past? What did you do about it then?
Posted by obsidian on February 2, 2010, at 20:52:23
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........, posted by rnny on February 2, 2010, at 0:09:48
I don't think I'm depressed, I just think I'm an *ssh*l*.
I think it's always been that way. I just went to sleep because I couldn't stand myself.
thankfully, I can almost always sleep.
thanks,
sid
Posted by obsidian on February 3, 2010, at 19:02:54
In reply to I'm not feeling that great........, posted by obsidian on February 1, 2010, at 1:55:40
it's been a rough ride the past week or so
geez.....
I hate it when I am so wildly affected by my mood
I don't know who is in charge, but it's not me
Posted by catmint on February 6, 2010, at 19:20:54
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........ » rnny, posted by obsidian on February 2, 2010, at 20:52:23
Hey Sid
I can totally relate.>>thankfully, I can almost always sleep.
I am so thankful for sleep, even though I do it too much, it is the only thing that relaxes me.I had to stop taking Lamictal. Even though it was great for some aspects of depresstion, the anger and irritability was terrible. I am now on no meds which some pepole think is stupid but for me I'd rather have a low grade depression than mania any day.
I understand how you feel. I'm not sure why I'm so affected by moods. Today I'm sick with a cold and feel really weird, depressed, out of touch with reality, hopeless, hoping the 5-htp kicks in soon.
I hope you feel better soon, I'm sure you will, tomorrow maybe.
Posted by obsidian on February 6, 2010, at 22:53:01
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........, posted by catmint on February 6, 2010, at 19:20:54
> Hey Sid
> I can totally relate.thanks for the response :-)
> >>thankfully, I can almost always sleep.
> I am so thankful for sleep, even though I do it too much, it is the only thing that relaxes me.
>
> I had to stop taking Lamictal. Even though it was great for some aspects of depresstion, the anger and irritability was terrible. I am now on no meds which some pepole think is stupid but for me I'd rather have a low grade depression than mania any day.It's weird that it does this right? It is supposed to be a mood stabilizer after all?? so much for that. Right now, I'm not irritable/angry, so I guess we'll see. People don't seem to expect this from this drug.
weird stuff> I understand how you feel. I'm not sure why I'm so affected by moods. Today I'm sick with a cold and feel really weird, depressed, out of touch with reality, hopeless, hoping the 5-htp kicks in soon.
depression can really just knock me over sometimes. I hope it doesn't last long for you.
did antidepressants ever help you?
> I hope you feel better soon, I'm sure you will, tomorrow maybe.thanks, yeah I am better, but I wonder if the meds are worse than the disease, or if the disease is just a consequence of the meds.
feel better soon,
sid
Posted by Sigismund on February 8, 2010, at 2:27:30
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........ » catmint, posted by obsidian on February 6, 2010, at 22:53:01
>thanks, yeah I am better, but I wonder if the meds are worse than the disease, or if the disease is just a consequence of the meds.
However are you going to be able to disentangle that?
Posted by obsidian on February 8, 2010, at 21:01:29
In reply to Re: I'm not feeling that great........ » obsidian, posted by Sigismund on February 8, 2010, at 2:27:30
geez sig, who knows
hopefully, I'll taper down on the effexor some more soon
as far as the lamictal goes...I dunno, aside from the recent wicked mood swings, it's given me a bit of an elevation in mood overall, so I'm willing to stay the course for a while and take extra seroquel if the agitation/irritability takes hold again
I'm working on getting some exercise right now, and keeping perspective on the many things which I cannot control
This is the end of the thread.
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