![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 6, 2009, at 22:37:05
I dont know whats wrong with me. The last two days, I'm not myself. I've been hitting my head against the wall (not normal for me). Doing stupid stuff. I made a cake for a coworkers birthday tomorrow and didnt like how it looked out of the oven so I picked it up, threw it down so it would break, and broke it up into several pieces. My second cake (and the one I'll really take to work) just came out and is fine. But what would possess me to do that? That isnt like me. None of it is out of extreme anger or anything... I feel disconnected. Crazy. It all feels sort of funny to me, but I'm not cracking up over any of it. I'm not manic. A "crazy", insane sort of funny. I sent my T an email last night about some things and wrote in a style I'd never write to her... just more disconnected and not very careful, as I usually am, with explaining myself etc. I figured I'd regret it later and I really dont. I just feel like I've lost it a bit. I'm still going to work and functioning... heck, I had to go to court for work today and testified rather successfully! I'm fine there. But I come home and I dont know what has taken me over. I'm in control of myself, but I'm not. I dont know if it's agitation, or stress... I am stressed but no more than usual. I mentioned hitting my head but it wasnt terribly hard and doing that is more the result of this crazy state than the cause of it. Is this part dissociation? What the heck is wrong with me? How do I bring myself back? To be honest, it's sort of fun in a sense... but it's also scary.
I saw T yesterday at 11 and was okay afterwards. That evening, an old friend (ex boyfriend) and I were talking on instant message and he said something that was very hurtful and made me very angry.. I flipped out. That was the trigger. I havent felt normal since, except when I've been at work. I'm not upset about what he said anymore.. it just triggered a rush of feeling and now I've lost my mind. I'm not sure if the trigger is even relevant to where I am right now.
Does anyone have any idea what I'm saying? I dont even know how to describe it well. Or any thoughts?
Posted by softheprairie on May 7, 2009, at 2:34:26
In reply to Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by yellowbird01 on May 6, 2009, at 22:37:05
I know this isn't the meds board, but a little bit of what you describe reminds me of when I was on Abilify, and I got a terrible restless feeling (akathisia, I think), and my mom has since said I didn't sound like myself on the phone during that time. I've been on lots of different psych meds, and that's the only one where I've had a reaction like that.
Have you had a change in medication? I don't mean to make you feel weirder if there isn't an easy-to-find cause like this, I just think it's a possibility.
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 7, 2009, at 6:03:36
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by softheprairie on May 7, 2009, at 2:34:26
Nope, no change in medication. I've never had any success with medication.. my depression used to be much more severe and now that it's not as bad, I've given up the medication-go-round for awhile. I havent been on anything in a good while. The only thing I do take is adderall every morning, but I've been taking that for some time.
Thanks for the thought though. Off to work I go....
Posted by softheprairie on May 7, 2009, at 7:21:28
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me? » softheprairie, posted by yellowbird01 on May 7, 2009, at 6:03:36
Okay. I hope the strangeness can subside; I hope the cake is well-received and work goes well for you.
Posted by Phillipa on May 7, 2009, at 12:10:37
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me? » yellowbird01, posted by softheprairie on May 7, 2009, at 7:21:28
When I was younger and went through a phase of baking if the cake wasn't perfect into the trash it went. And no psychiatric problems then. It just had to be perfect and if not into the trash. Phillipa are you a perfectionist?
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 7, 2009, at 18:06:12
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by Phillipa on May 7, 2009, at 12:10:37
Not really a perfectionist, no. I can be in some ways, but I dont think the cake incident was driven by that. The cake thing is really just an example of feeling unstable and impulsive I guess. I didnt feel like what I did with it was thought out or rationalized in any way, logical or not... the urge just struck me, so I did it. It's hard to explain.
I've read online a bit about derealization/depersonalization and it seems to describe how I feel somewhat the last few days.
Posted by garnet71 on May 7, 2009, at 18:58:30
In reply to Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by yellowbird01 on May 6, 2009, at 22:37:05
Yellowbird,
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. This sounds awful. Did you ever consider PTSD? I'm only asking because some of your descriptions of the way you feel and your story reminds of when I had PTSD years ago.
I don't remember what meds I was taking at the time, but I can tell you about a little incidient I had that sounds similar to your cake story; an incident of a very brief depersonalization....I was in the hardware store shopping for some new furnace vents. I remember all of the sudden, I just dropped/sort of threw, one of the vents on the floor. Then I just had to leave the store. It was odd-like all of the sudden it wasn't me; like I had lost it for like 2 seconds. A depersonalization; nothing in particular triggered it-it just happened out of nowhere.
I may be totally off here, but this along with various posts you have written in the past sounds very familar to me. Hyper arousal and depersonalization is very common with PTSD. PTSD has aspects that are different from depression or chronic anxiety, but it is type of axiety disorder. One doesn't have to be a victim of violence to have PTSD. It also can build up over time-it doesn't always just "appear" after some event in your life...It's an awful state to be in. Although most people here say symptoms are more important that a lable, I think PTSD is an important diagnosis to "get right" because of the variables and treatment involved. EMDR is one such favored treatment. Maybe it would be helpful if you took a look at PTSD and assess whether or not it could be a possibility?
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/288154-overview
"The traumatic events that lead to post-traumatic stress disorder are usually so overwhelming and frightening that they would upset anyone. When your sense of safety and trust are shattered, its normal to feel crazy, disconnected, or numband most people do.
After a traumatic experience, the mind and the body are in shock. But as you make sense of what happened and process your emotions, you come out of it. With post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), however, you remain in psychological shock. Your memory of what happened and your feelings about it are disconnected. In order to move on, its important to face and feel your memories and emotions.
The symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can arise suddenly, gradually, or come and go over time. Sometimes symptoms appear seemingly out of the blue. At other times, they are triggered by something that reminds you of the original traumatic event, such as a noise, an image, certain words, or a smell.
Emotionally, PTSD sufferers may struggle more to achieve as good an outcome from mental-health treatment as that of people with other emotional problems.
Symptoms of PTSD that tend to be associated with C-PTSD include: problems regulating feelings, which can result in suicidal thoughts, explosive anger, or passive aggressive behaviors; a tendency to forget the trauma or feel detached from one's life (dissociation) or body (depersonalization); persistent feelings of helplessness, shame, guilt or being completely different from others; feeling the perpetrator of trauma is all-powerful and preoccupation with either revenge against or allegiance with the perpetrator; and severe change in those things that give the sufferer meaning, like a loss of spiritual faith or an ongoing sense of helplessness, hopelessness, or despair.
PTSD displays biochemical changes in the brain and body that differ from other psychiatric disorders such as major depression. Individuals diagnosed with PTSD respond more strongly to a dexamethasone suppression test than individuals diagnosed with clinical depression.
In addition, most people with PTSD also show a low secretion of cortisol and high secretion of catecholamines in urine, with a norepinephrine/ cortisol ratio consequently higher than comparable non-diagnosed individuals. This is in contrast to the normative fight-or-flight response, in which both catecholamine and cortisol levels are elevated after exposure to a stressor.
Brain catecholamine levels are low, and corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF) concentrations are high. Together, these findings suggest abnormality in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis.
Given the strong cortisol suppression to dexamethasone in PTSD, HPA axis abnormalities are likely predicated on strong negative feedback inhibition of cortisol, itself likely due to an increased sensitivity of glucocorticoid receptors. Some researchers have associated the response to stress in PTSD with long-term exposure to high levels of norepinephrine and low levels of cortisol, a pattern associated with improved learning in animals.
Translating this reaction to human conditions gives a pathophysiological explanation for PTSD by a maladaptive learning pathway to fear response through a hypersensitive, hyperreactive and hyperresponsive HPA axis.
Low cortisol levels may predispose individuals to PTSD."
Cut and pasted from various websites.
Posted by garnet71 on May 7, 2009, at 19:16:17
In reply to Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by yellowbird01 on May 6, 2009, at 22:37:05
I should describe how I felt with PTSD for you--this is what it's like: it's sort of like a depressional anxiety - it's not like depression and it's not like anxiety. Well for me-It sort of felt like the depression manifests as an anxiety - but it feels totally different from general anxiety disorder. The anxiety symptoms are "full of" depression, so to speak; whereas regular anxiety symptoms alone don't feel as if they "contain" depression in them.
I think i'm not making much sense here...it brings with it a sense of feeling "crazy" and a strong sense that you have lost the person you used to be. Not so much as in a depression-related sense of hopelessness, but an anxiety related hopelessness--that's probably the only way I can describe the difference in symptoms...but it's like you are a completely different person.
Without combat stress, violence, etc, therapists are more likely to diagnose it as depression; a misdiagnosis of PTSD is bad. A sharp, experienced therapist will know the difference and treat accordingly.
Posted by antigua3 on May 8, 2009, at 9:18:19
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by garnet71 on May 7, 2009, at 18:58:30
Nice description.
Thanks,
antigua
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 8, 2009, at 16:51:18
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by garnet71 on May 7, 2009, at 18:58:30
Wow garnet, I really have to thank you posting this. I feel like I can relate to quite a bit of it. The statement about "having your sense of safety and trust shattered" really resonates. I cant say exactly why, but it definitely hit me in some way. The other part that I relate to is about it being a different feeling from either depression or anxiety. I have been feeling exactly that way... sort of depressed, but different from the depression I've ever experienced before. More agitated, anxious sort of... but it's not anxiety either. It's a feeling I cant describe. I'm going to do more reading on this and see what else I can learn...
The problem is, I'm not sure that there is any event (or series of events etc) that I could relate to causing PTSD. I havent experienced any real traumatic events. I was never abused a child in any way. I was neglected, but primarily emotional neglect - I always had plenty to eat, clothes to wear, etc. It certainly did build up and does affect me today... abandonment issues, need for reassurance, etc... but I dont have moments where the pain hits me, or moments where I'm particularly triggered or strongly reminded of it more than any other time really. I've always felt like something like that was necessary for something to be PTSD.
I can relate to your story about dropping the vent and leaving the store. That sounds pretty similar to how I've felt. In fact, I was in the grocery a few nights ago and had the urge to just swipe everything off the shelf as I walked down the aisle.. I didnt do it, but many of the inhibitions that keep me from doing things like that just werent there. I feel almost like... if you see a movie set in a state psych hospital and there is a very ill person sitting in the corner laughing to themselves for no reason that anyone understands. Not that severe, but it has felt like a touch of that. Just losing my mind.
For further explanation of what triggered everything Tues night... I'd seen my T on Tues and while the session was fine, I'm feeling very disconnected and having a lot of trouble opening up and trusting her right now. I'm sort of afraid of her at the moment. It's the first time I've really felt like this with her. That night, I was talking to an ex from a few years ago. He commented that the reason we broke up (even though I broke up with him) was because I'd always been so completely unsympathetic towards his suicidal feelings. If there is ANYTHNIG in this world I'm sympathetic towards, it's that, because I've been there so much myself. I did lose it when he said that and then never really came out of the "crazy" it sent me into. I guess I could look at that as further triggering feeling unsafe, uncertain and distrustful of others, etc... I have a lot to think about.
I felt better last night. I'm still at work right now for another few minutes so who knows what tonight will look like. I'm hoping this crazy has passed.
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 8, 2009, at 16:56:01
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by garnet71 on May 7, 2009, at 19:16:17
No, believe it or not, this makes very good sense to me. It's a very difficult thing to describe, but I think it says what I've been feeling over the past few weeks/months in better words than I've been able to find. Thank you again for your response.
> I should describe how I felt with PTSD for you--this is what it's like: it's sort of like a depressional anxiety - it's not like depression and it's not like anxiety. Well for me-It sort of felt like the depression manifests as an anxiety - but it feels totally different from general anxiety disorder. The anxiety symptoms are "full of" depression, so to speak; whereas regular anxiety symptoms alone don't feel as if they "contain" depression in them.
>
> I think i'm not making much sense here...it brings with it a sense of feeling "crazy" and a strong sense that you have lost the person you used to be. Not so much as in a depression-related sense of hopelessness, but an anxiety related hopelessness--that's probably the only way I can describe the difference in symptoms...but it's like you are a completely different person.
>
> Without combat stress, violence, etc, therapists are more likely to diagnose it as depression; a misdiagnosis of PTSD is bad. A sharp, experienced therapist will know the difference and treat accordingly.
Posted by garnet71 on May 8, 2009, at 18:34:40
In reply to Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by yellowbird01 on May 6, 2009, at 22:37:05
Hi Yellowbird,
I really couldn't be as articulate about it as I had wanted to, but I remember someone posted an article that perfectly describes the psyche of having PTSD. It's not graphic, but it's triggering, so be careful:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090416/msgs/891322.html
The article goes into the issues refugees face, and I'm assuming you are/were not a refugee, but the descriptiveness is powerful, and I'm thinking others who have/had PTSD might be able to relate. Personally, it strongly described my feelings.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately over the past couple days. And in your case, it could be that a recent event in your life triggered a PTSD that was somehow "rooted" in your childhood. One scenario off the top of my head is to think about whether you dealt with your childhood abuse/neglect issues adequately. For example, you may have dealt with the trauma intellectually, but not emotionally. Something in your adult life in general, or perhaps recently, could have triggered past emotions you felt as a child, thus triggering the PTSD to fully engage.
Also, women that were sexually abused as a child or teen are more susceptible to PTSD. I'm not implying you had experienced such abuse, but thought it was worth mentioning. This goes back to the feeling of not being able to trust....
Hypervigilence, very common with PTSD, was the symptom that caused me the most distress..it was awful, and all the time. This strongly links to that feeling of not being able to trust. Take a look at this and see if it sounds familar:
http://cbkit.tripod.com/id14.html
http://www.johncflanaganlcsw.com/articles/Hypervigilance.htm
Hang in there--it will get better :-)
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 8, 2009, at 19:25:03
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by garnet71 on May 8, 2009, at 18:34:40
The first link doesnt seem to be working for me. Do you remember the name of the article or have a direct link? I'd like to try and find it.
Still processing and thinking about all this.
Thanks again!
Posted by Phillipa on May 8, 2009, at 20:30:49
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me? » garnet71, posted by yellowbird01 on May 8, 2009, at 19:25:03
I got the first link try it now it's good. Love Phillipa
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 8, 2009, at 20:40:51
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me? » yellowbird01, posted by Phillipa on May 8, 2009, at 20:30:49
I can get to the link itself, but the link within that page... the actual link to the article.. isnt working for me. Hmm....
Posted by Phillipa on May 8, 2009, at 21:47:30
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by garnet71 on May 8, 2009, at 18:34:40
Yellow bird this???? Phillipa
Anxious, stressed, fatigued, flu, glandular fever, IBS, aches, pains, numbness, panic attacks? Read thisBullying, stress and the effects of stress on health
The injury to health caused by prolonged negative stress including fatigue, anxiety, depression, immune system suppression, IBS, aches, pains, numbness and panic attacks
On this page
Stress
Ill-health symptoms caused by stress and bullying
Fight or flight: the stress response
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS or ME)
New! Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
Psychiatric injury | Reactive depression | The mental health trap
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) | Suicide
Further reading | LinksStress
"There's only one way of dealing with stress - that's to identify the cause and then work to reduce or eliminate that cause. I believe bullying is the main, but least recognised, cause of stress in the workplace today."
Tim Field"Poor management is a major cause of stress."
Dr Peter Graham, Head of Health Directorate, UK Health & Safety Executive, 24 September 1998Stress is not the employee's inability to cope with excessive workloads and the unreasonable demands of incompetent and bullying managers; stress is a consequence of the employer's failure to provide a safe system of work as required by the UK Health & Safety at Work Act 1974. Blaming the sufferer of stress for suffering stress is an admission of failure to fulfil this obligation of duty of care.
The HSE publication Working on Stress describes the view that "All you need to do is go for counselling to stop work-related stress" as "wrong" and as being "unlikely to tackle the source of the problem".
HSE Stress Management Standards
Stress comes in two forms: positive and negative:
Positive stress (or eustress) is the result of competent management and mature leadership where everyone works together and everyone is valued and supported. Positive stress enhances well-being and can be harnessed to enhance performance and fuel achievement.
Negative stress (or distress) is the result of a bullying climate where threat, coercion and fear substitute for non-existent management skills. Employees have to work twice as hard to achieve half as much to compensate for the dysfunctional and inefficient management. Negative stress diminishes quality of life and causes injury to health resulting in the symptoms of ill-health described on this page. When people use the word "stress" on its own, they usually mean "negative stress". The CBI estimates stress and stress-related illness cost UK industry and taxpayers £12 BILLION each year. The UK Department of Health state that 3.6% of national average salary budget is paid to employees off sick with stress. Stress is now officially the Number One cause of sickness absence although 20% of employers still do not regard stress as a health and safety issue.Stress plays havoc with the body's immune system.
Symptoms
The symptoms of stress seem to cover more pages of every book published on the subject.
Stress caused by bullying results in these symptoms (and more):main symptoms - stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, fatigue (including Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - see below), trauma
physical symptoms - reduced immunity to infection leading to frequent colds, coughs, flu, glandular fever, etc (especially on days off, eg weekends and holidays), aches & pains (with no clear cause - this lack of attributability suggests stress as the cause - sometimes diagnosed as fibromyalgia), back pain, chest pains and angina, high blood pressure, headaches and migraines, sweating, palpitations, trembling, hormonal problems (disturbed menstrual cycle, dysmenorrhoea, loss of libido, impotence), physical numbness (especially in toes, fingers, and lips), emotional numbness (including anhedonia, an inability to feel joy and love), irritable bowel syndrome or IBS, paruresis (shy bladder syndrome), thyroid problems, petit mal seizures, skin irritations and skin disorders (eg athlete's foot, eczema, psoriasis, shingles, internal and external ulcers, urticaria), loss of appetite (although a few people react by overeating), excessive or abnormal thirst, waking up more tired than when you went to bed, etc
psychological symptoms - panic attacks, reactive depression (which some people describe as Adjustment Disorder with depressed mood), thoughts of suicide, stress breakdown (this is a psychiatric injury, not a mental illness), forgetfulness, impoverished or intermittently functioning memory, poor concentration, flashbacks and replays, excessive guilt, disbelief and confusion and bewilderment ("why me?" - click here for the answer), an unusual degree of fear, sense of isolation, insecurity, desperation, etc; one experiences acute anxiety at the prospect of meeting the bully or visiting the location where the bullying took place, or at the thought of touching the paperwork associated with the case; one is unable to attend disciplinary meetings and may vomit before, during or after the meeting, sometimes at the thought of the meeting or on receiving a threatening letter insisting one attends (these are PTSD diagnostic criteria B4 and B5)
behavioural symptoms - tearfulness, irritability, angry outbursts, obsessiveness (the experience takes over your life), hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), hypersensitivity (almost every remark or action is perceived as critical even when it is not), sullenness (a sign the inner psyche has been damaged), mood swings, withdrawal, indecision, loss of humour, hyperawareness (acute awareness of time, seasons, distance travelled), excessive biting, teeth grinding, picking, scratching or tics, increased reliance on drugs (tannin, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, sleeping tablets, tranquillisers, antidepressants, other substances), comfort spending (and consequent financial problems), phobias (especially agoraphobia), etc
effects on personality - shattered self-confidence and self-esteem, low self-image, loss of self-worth and self-love
Other symptoms and disorders reported include sleep disorder, bipolar disorder, mood disorder, eating disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, skin disorder.Increasingly researchers are suggesting that diabetes, asthma, allergies, fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis (MS), chronic fatigue syndrome (ME) and even some forms of cancer are caused or aggravated by stress. An article in Biologist (T cells divide and rule in Gulf War syndrome (and asthma, TB, cancer, ME), Jenny Bryan, Immunology section in The Biologist, (1997) 44 (5)) suggests that a shared immunological defect may link many disorders. Others suggest that the inappropriateness of the stress response in dealing with modern threats - which are largely psychological rather than physical - is to blame.
The traumatising effect of bullying results in the target being unable to state clearly what is happening to them and who is responsible; the target may be so traumatised that they are unable to articulate their experience for a year or more after the event. This often frustrates or prevents legal action: see 12-week tribunal application limit and psychological reactivity of PTSD.
Another frustration is incorrect diagnosis by a medical or mental health professional who doesn't understand Complex PTSD or who is antagonistic towards the concept of psychiatric injury. If you're under one of these characters, ditch them immediately as they will sabotage both your legal case and your efforts to recover. False diagnoses commonly given include schizophrenia, paranoia, work phobia, school phobia, borderline personality disorder (as a cause rather than a symptom), etc.
Bullying results in strong feelings of fear, shame, embarrassment, and guilt, which are encouraged by the bully to keep their target quiet. This is how all abusers (including child sex abusers) silence their targets. For detailed reasons why targets of abuse don't or can't report their abuse, click here.
Work colleagues often withdraw their support and then join in with the bullying, which increases the stress and consequent psychiatric injury; to see why mobbing breaks out, click here.
Poor concentration, impaired memory, and fatigue are common and early signs of excessive stress. These have significant Health & Safety implications if the employee drives a vehicle, operates machinery, or is responsible for the care or welfare of others as part of their duties. RoSPA estimate that in the UK at least 1000 road deaths each year involve people for whom driving is part of their job. Fatigue is a major factor.
Fight or flight: the stress response
The fight or flight mechanism, or stress response, is designed for responding to physical danger (eg being about to be attacked by a sabre-toothed tiger) but today is more likely to be activated by a psychological danger (eg bullying at work, harassment, stalking, abuse) for which it was not designed. The stress response can also be activated by anticipation of low-probability or long-term or non-life-threatening events such as financial problems (clinching the next big deal, how to pay the mortgage next month, wondering when the next benefit cheque will arrive), motorway traffic jams, job security, picking up a parking ticket for a car park overstay, etc.
Different people respond with different degrees of stress to different stressors, a fact which has dogged research. However, there are at least four factors which determine the degree to which one will feel stressed:
control: a person feels stressed to the extent to which they perceive they are not in control of the stressor; at work, employees have no control over their management
predictability: a person feels stressed to the extent to which they are unable to predict the behaviour or occurrence of the stressor (bullies are notoriously unpredictable in their behaviour)
expectation: a person feels stressed to the extent to which they perceive their circumstances are not improving and will not improve (a bullying situation almost always gets worse, especially as one gains insight into the cause)
support: a person feels stressed to the extent to which they lack support systems, including work colleagues, management, personnel, union, partner, family, friends, colleagues, persons in authority, official bodies, professionals, and the law
Once the stress response is activated, the body's energy is diverted to where it is needed, thus heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate increase. All non-essential body functions are temporarily shut down or operate at reduced level; these include digestion, growth, sexual systems (menstrual cycle, libido, testosterone production), immune system, storage of energy as fat, etc. In response to threat, glucose, proteins and fats are rapidly released from storage (in muscles, fat cells and liver) and energy becomes abundantly available to those muscles which will help you fight the danger or run away from it. In extreme cases bowels and bladder will spontaneously evacuate to lighten the load; the smell may also help to deter the attacker. There is no point in digestion, reproduction and immune system etc continuing to operate if you're likely to be the sabre-toothed tiger's dinner in the next ten minutes - better divert that energy into avoiding being on the menu.Therefore, the prospect of going to work, or the thought or sound of the bully approaching immediately activates the stress response, but fighting or flight are both inappropriate. In repeated bullying, the stress response prepares the body to respond physically when what is required is an employer-wide anti-bullying policy, knowledge of bullying motivations and tactics, assertive responses to defend ourselves against unwarranted verbal and physical harassment, and effective laws against bullying as an ultimate deterrent or arbiter when all else fails.
Fatigue
The fatigue caused by bullying is understandable when you realise that the body's fight or flight mechanism ultimately becomes activated for long periods, sometimes semi-permanently. For a person with a regular daytime job, the activation can last from Sunday evening - at the prospect of having to go to work the following day - through to the following Saturday morning - at the prospect of two days relief.
The fight or flight mechanism is designed to operate briefly and intermittently, but when activated for abnormally long periods, causes the body's physical, mental and emotional batteries to drain dry. Energy stored in the body as protein, glycogen and triglycerides is rapidly converted back to amino acids, glucose and fatty acids etc to help the body deal with the perceived threat. The process of conversion, achieved via the release of stress hormones such as glucocorticoids, glucagon, epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine (noradrenaline), itself consumes energy. The stress hormones also trigger the conversion of protein in those muscles not required for flight or fright into amino acids.
Whilst the human body is capable of withstanding considerable levels and periods of stress, when the stress response is turned on for long periods, the body inevitably sustains damage through prolonged raised levels of glucocorticoids (which are toxic to brain cells), excessive depletion of energy reserves, resulting in fatigue, loss of strength and stamina, muscle wastage (as in steroid myopathy when patients receive large doses of glucocorticoids to treat various illnesses), and adult-onset diabetes.
At the weekend and days off, the weakened immune system cannot fight off viruses (eg colds, flu, glandular fever etc) and the person suffers constant illnesses during which the batteries do not recharge. Even without viral infection, the obsessiveness and disturbed sleeping patterns prevent the body from replenishing stored energy. Reactivation of the fight or flight mechanism prior to returning to work produces a flow of stress hormones which appear to temporarily suppress the effects of illness.
For suggested reading click here.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Many people who are bullied experience and report symptoms similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (formerly ME, myalgic encephalomyelitis, also called Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndrome [CFIDS] and Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome). The main symptoms are:
overwhelming fatigue
pains in the joints and muscles with no obvious cause
occasional bursts of energy, followed by exhaustion and joint/muscle pain
inability to concentrate
poor recall, eg words, sentence construction, etc
mood swings, including anger and depression
difficulty in learning new information
sense imbalances, eg in smell, taste and appetite
dislike of loud noises and bright lights
inability to control body temperature
sleep disturbance (eg sleeping by day and waking at night)
disturbance of balance
clumsiness, eg unable to grasp small objects, inability to separate sheets of paper
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome achieved official recognition from the UK's Chief Medical Officer Sir Kenneth Calman on 15 July 1998. This view was endorsed by a report published in January 2002 which was compiled for Chief Medical Officer for England. Professor Sir Liam Donaldson called for the recognition of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS or CFIDS, also known as myalgic encephalomyelitis or ME) as a chronic condition with long term effects on health on a par with illnesses such as multiple sclerosis and motor neurone disease. The report also recommends early diagnosis, better access to treatment, and that CFS/ME should be included in the education and training of doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals. The only omission from the report seems to be that one of the causes of CFS can be long-term bullying, harassment and abuse, which compromise the body's immune system and drain the body's energy reserves.The syndrome is not well understood, but a virus in the same family of enteroviruses as multiple sclerosis (MS) and polio is thought to be implicated. The only cure is complete rest. Exercise, which in people without CFS strengthens the body and aids good health, makes the condition worse. CFS is often linked to stress and trauma, although the stressors may not always be obvious.
Posted by garnet71 on May 9, 2009, at 21:07:13
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me? » garnet71, posted by yellowbird01 on May 8, 2009, at 19:25:03
I searched for a non-broken link or cached version of that paper but was unable to find it for you. I'll have to see if I can pull this from a library and email it to you, unless you have access to journals?
2004: Ebert Angela; Dyck Murray J
The experience of mental death: the core feature of complex posttraumatic stress disorder.
Clinical psychology review 2004;24(6):617-35.Exposure to extreme interpersonal stress, exemplified by the experience of torture, represents a threat to the psychological integrity of the victim. The experience is likely to result in mental death, in the loss of the victim's pretrauma identity. Mental death is characterized by loss of core beliefs and values, distrust, and alienation from others, shame and guilt, and a sense of being permanently damaged. Mental death is a primary feature of a distinct posttrauma syndrome, complex posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is refractory to standard exposure therapies. We identify cognitive mechanisms that mediate the symptoms of complex PTSD, and suggest how current treatments need to be modified to obtain enhanced treatment outcomes.
Posted by garnet71 on May 9, 2009, at 21:11:39
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by garnet71 on May 9, 2009, at 21:07:13
just wanted to clarify--that paper has an articulate description of mental death--a situation/feeling that goes w/PTSD. Not looking at the article in terms of torture victims/POWs, but to pass along that description.
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 9, 2009, at 21:30:36
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me?, posted by garnet71 on May 9, 2009, at 21:07:13
Thanks for the reference info. I'll search online too and see if I can find it.... but I dont have access to journals anymore. I used to, as a student, but my login went inactive when I finished school. I'll babblemail you my email address. If it's a lot of trouble to get, dont worry about it, but if you do have access, I'd love to see it. It sounds very interesting. Thanks again!
Posted by yellowbird01 on May 10, 2009, at 19:34:32
In reply to Re: Feeling crazy... whats wrong with me? » garnet71, posted by yellowbird01 on May 9, 2009, at 21:30:36
I was able to get a copy of this article in pdf. If anyone else was interested, I'd be happy to email you the link to the pdf... just send me a babblemail and I'll do it. It's not on the internet (that I've found anyway) so I cant directly link to it here.
Thanks again for the suggestion garnet.
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