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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by posterchild on March 2, 2009, at 23:15:14
I think I'm over my therapist.
He is my second on in a year. I liked him alright; my insurance covered him and he went to the same grad school as my old counselor who I could not afford to pay anymore. His office is a block from my apartment. Very convenient. I have been working with him since September. He is good, but I feel like he always misses really important things that I say. They go right over his head. "I just found out my brother has been dealing drugs" and he is right back to something we were talking about before my confession. Hello, sir, this is something that is bugging me and took me a long time to say. Anyway. Today were talking about why I'm in counseling and the such, and I said that it was pointless because I never really tell him anything. The problem isnt that I don't tell him anything, the problem is that he doesn't realize when I'm telling him something big. They go right over his head. I feel like he doesn't know me at all.
Anyways. For a couple months now, he hasn't been asking when we would like to meet again. He usually did before. A couple weeks I had to call him after my appointment to find a time to meet. I thought this was weird so I started asking to schedule appointments. The last four sessions he has asked "Maybe we could just skip next week" when I know that this not a good choice. I need counseling. He knows that I need counseling. It pisses me off that I am asking to make an appointment only to be told that I should skip a week. I have things to tell him. He knows that. I need to talk things out. He knows that. But there has just been this change in him the last couple of months where he is surprised to see me in the waiting room when I am there and he wouldn't mind if I never came back. It's just...strange.
Maybe it's just time to find a new therapist. I really wouldn't mind.
Posted by obsidian on March 2, 2009, at 23:38:55
In reply to maybe I'm done., posted by posterchild on March 2, 2009, at 23:15:14
oh wow,
that would REALLY bother me.
I mean what is that?..I'll see you, maybe I won't
How does that make someone feel cared about?
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. It'd be nice if you could have someone you could feel attached to, someone consistent, reliable, attuned.
hope things get better,
sid
Posted by posterchild on March 3, 2009, at 0:08:53
In reply to Re: maybe I'm done., posted by obsidian on March 2, 2009, at 23:38:55
It's just so bizarre. I never got this feeling from before, and then I went home for a month and when I came back, he just was so..different towards me. Totally unattached and just careless with me, I feel.
I just want to call him tomorrow and cancel my session for next week. And see if he ever calls me back. I almost guarantee that he won't.
But we live in the same neighborhood. He lives one mile down the same street as I do. I see him in public all the time. It will just be horrifically awkward.
Posted by Annierose on March 3, 2009, at 6:49:07
In reply to maybe I'm done., posted by posterchild on March 2, 2009, at 23:15:14
I agree that his behavior does sound unusal. Instead of thinking what did you do that made him change, more often, something is going on with him, in his life.
The most important variable in successful therapy is not the orientation of the therapist, rather if the client feels warmly understood. I get the impression that you don't feel understood at all.
Could you start looking for another therapist while seeing the current one?
Posted by obsidian on March 3, 2009, at 10:08:02
In reply to Re: maybe I'm done., posted by posterchild on March 3, 2009, at 0:08:53
As much bravery as it may take I think it might be helpful to have a discussion with him about what you've expressed here.
whatever you do, I hope you find some resolution.
-sid
Posted by Phillipa on March 3, 2009, at 12:45:31
In reply to Re: maybe I'm done. » posterchild, posted by obsidian on March 3, 2009, at 10:08:02
That's kind of what ended my last therapist she said let's go three weeks instead of two weeks and that we hadn't accomplished a thing. She blew me off last ever saw her. Phillipa
Posted by Recently on March 3, 2009, at 13:57:25
In reply to maybe I'm done., posted by posterchild on March 2, 2009, at 23:15:14
> the problem is that he doesn't realize when I'm telling him something big. They go right over his head. I feel like he doesn't know me at all.
>
> The last four sessions he has asked "Maybe we could just skip next week" when I know that this not a good choice.
>
These 2 comments really struck me. Whether or not your therapist is having personal issues - these are both really red flags. I agree with the others in saying that maybe talking to your T about these issues is good. On the other hand, if it isn't working, it isn't working. It does take a lot of courage too to take the leap and say that a T simply isn't right.Recently
Posted by posterchild on March 3, 2009, at 21:52:27
In reply to Re: maybe I'm done. » posterchild, posted by Recently on March 3, 2009, at 13:57:25
I would be willing to tell him. I just don't know if I can wait 8 days to do so.
Maybe I will call him in the morning (or maybe right now) and see if he has anything open for tomorrow. Lay it out on the table. Let him know it's not okay. I cannot think about this for 8 days. I either need to call and cancel, and let that be the end of therapy, or just go in and soon and talk to him.
Hummmm....
Posted by rskontos on March 4, 2009, at 14:13:47
In reply to Re: maybe I'm done., posted by posterchild on March 3, 2009, at 21:52:27
Posterchild,
I could not handle this at all. I am not sure how I would react, it would depend on me and who I felt I was at that point. If I was feeling sensitive I would bolt. If I was feeling confrontational I would confront.
But in all, this is appalling behavior in my book. So I would suggest trying or say, I get the feeling you don't want to work with me. I feel I need once a week. If you don't please tell me directly. I feel strung on.
This more I feel should make him realize how he coming across and maybe then he will explain.
If all that fails it would seem a new therapist is in order.
rsk
Posted by posterchild on March 4, 2009, at 19:19:45
In reply to Re: maybe I'm done. » posterchild, posted by rskontos on March 4, 2009, at 14:13:47
I canceled my appointment for next week exactly twenty-four hours ago. He has not called to reschedule. He usually reschedules right away.
I'm guessing that this is the end. For some reason, it's really not bugging me too much...I have another therapist to call but am just waiting to see what happens in the next week, whether I hear from him or not.
This is the end of the thread.
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