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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 8:32:39
i'm struggling alot today. i saw T yesterday and the session itself was good. Except that we talked about a mutual aquaintance who's wife killed herself a few years ago. i never knew the details and my t brought it up. (mostly because i share similar philosopies as her)
we were talking about my suicidality and how i view it sometimes.
the woman we talked about choose a method that is stuck in my brain and i can't now get it out.i don't want to tell T that cuz i don't want her to feel she needs to tiptoe around my depressive issues..i NEED her to be able to talk to me like this.
But it's one of those things like when you see a car accident happen in front of you, it sort of haunts your mind for a few days.
well, thats' whats happening for me now.i'm not only getting visuals of the method, but i can't help but think...that could be me. i feel all this horrible sorrow inside my heart as if i've done this act myself.
and i never even knew his wife.
**************
i just really needed to talk about this with someone.
Posted by lucie lu on November 21, 2008, at 9:18:24
In reply to killer empathy..., posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 8:32:39
> i'm struggling alot today. i saw T yesterday and the session itself was good. Except that we talked about a mutual aquaintance who's wife killed herself a few years ago. i never knew the details and my t brought it up. (mostly because i share similar philosopies as her)
> we were talking about my suicidality and how i view it sometimes.That is so horrible and tragic! And potentially destabilizing for anyone who is plagued by such thoughts. I'm a bit surprised that the details about the woman came into the discussion. I hope your T had a good reason for that, maybe she wanted to raise the topic anyway with you and found it an appropriate opportunity. She may figure that you'd react similarly if you encountered such a tragedy outside the therapy room, even in the newspapers, and figured it's better to deal with it directly in the safety of the therapy office. Just guessing-
> the woman we talked about choose a method that is stuck in my brain and i can't now get it out.
> i don't want to tell T that cuz i don't want her to feel she needs to tiptoe around my depressive issues..i NEED her to be able to talk to me like this.
B2c, I think now more than ever you need to trust her and I think it is important that you share your feelings all around this. I really can't see a T tiptoeing around depressive issues. That is what they do (i.e. not avoiding sensitive subjects). Maybe it would be helpful for her to know what you would like from her, what you feel is most helpful. I always assume they know, and am surprised to find that they don't. If you have a good overall relationship with her, I would trust that she has had the training to lead the way here and keep you safe while you think about these issues. I think the more she knows about your inner responses, the more effective she can be in helping you. My 2 cents!
Take care,
Lucie
> But it's one of those things like when you see a car accident happen in front of you, it sort of haunts your mind for a few days.
> well, thats' whats happening for me now.
>
> i'm not only getting visuals of the method, but i can't help but think...that could be me. i feel all this horrible sorrow inside my heart as if i've done this act myself.
>
> and i never even knew his wife.
>
> **************
>
> i just really needed to talk about this with someone.
Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 10:33:42
In reply to Re: killer empathy... » B2chica, posted by lucie lu on November 21, 2008, at 9:18:24
ya my T knows when she can talk about things and when she shouldn't.
and it actually was something we needed to talk about. because of the representation and how this woman viewed what she was doing, and how that DIRECTLY coorelates to me and my views.
i'm actually glad she did, in a sense discussing this i feel we really made a big step forward in our relationship. knowing now that i feel a little more free to discuss things with her. i now know she will understand things.and ya you have a point (good 2 cents!)
she IS good at talking about hard issues. i guess i've just formed my trust for her around abuse issues and never got into the depressive issues with her like i did with my old T. (and i do miss him for that reason).
But that's why i'm glad that we talked about this. because it showed me some trust on her end about this issue. and showed that she has a mind for that. that she can understand things.
i think a lot of T's are scared of people like me who can view suicide as something OTHER than just "killing yourself".i just want to mention about that, that the conversation started because of a movie segment i saw. old black and white, a guy just got out of an institution and was talking with his brother about his suicidality and said, "i think i'll always be a little in love with death"
and i see that in myself, mostly because sometimes in my deep depression i view it as something other than, just sadness.
thus my risk... so see it needed to be discussed. and i dont regret it at ALL. i'm Very glad we discussed it.and now just typing my response to you i realized that maybe the reason the discussion/visual is stuck in my mind is because i'm ready to talk more about this stuff to T. and Need to.
thank you
b2c
Posted by fleeting flutterby on November 21, 2008, at 10:56:01
In reply to killer empathy..., posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 8:32:39
> i'm struggling alot today.<<
(flutterby said): ----I'm sorry you are struggling so much at the moment.
>> i saw T yesterday and the session itself was good. Except that we talked about a mutual aquaintance who's wife killed herself a few years ago. i never knew the details and my t brought it up. (mostly because i share similar philosopies as her)
> we were talking about my suicidality and how i view it sometimes.
> the woman we talked about choose a method that is stuck in my brain and i can't now get it out.<<(flutterby):------ your post jumped out at me, as it will be a year next week that my 30 year old neighbor committed suicide. and her method gets stuck in my brain also. The husband has moved away now with their three year old little boy-- but still.... I struggle to get the whole thing out of my mind....
> i don't want to tell T that cuz i don't want her to feel she needs to tiptoe around my depressive issues..i NEED her to be able to talk to me like this.<<(flutterby):----Why do you need her to talk to you like this? If something such as a huge tragedy like this is triggering,(as it could be for even the healthiest person on the planet) wouldn't it be just as helpful to NOT talk about it? ..... I'm just wondering....(you don't have to answer this if you're not comfortable doing so.. it's just me wondering....)
> But it's one of those things like when you see a car accident happen in front of you, it sort of haunts your mind for a few days.
> well, thats' whats happening for me now.
>
> i'm not only getting visuals of the method, but i can't help but think...that could be me. i feel all this horrible sorrow inside my heart as if i've done this act myself.
>
> and i never even knew his wife.
>
> **************
>
> i just really needed to talk about this with someone.<<
(flutterby):----thank you for sharing. I hope you post more on this whenver you feel you need to. *hearts* to you.flutterby-mandy
Posted by fleeting flutterby on November 21, 2008, at 11:01:29
In reply to Re: killer empathy... » B2chica, posted by fleeting flutterby on November 21, 2008, at 10:56:01
OOps!! your post and mine appeared at the same time.... you answered my question below in your other post! sorry-- please disregard it.
>
> (flutterby):----Why do you need her to talk to you like this?<<glad to hear your moving forward with your therapist.
flutterby-mandy
Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 12:19:33
In reply to Re: killer empathy... » B2chica, posted by fleeting flutterby on November 21, 2008, at 10:56:01
thanks flutterby and sorry to hear about your neighbor.
Posted by Phillipa on November 21, 2008, at 12:55:55
In reply to Re: killer empathy... » fleeting flutterby, posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 12:19:33
B2chica so sorry your're going through this. But light at end of the tunnel I can see it can you? Love Phillipa
Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 14:32:22
In reply to Re: killer empathy... » B2chica, posted by Phillipa on November 21, 2008, at 12:55:55
i can see two tunnels of light. one leads to my existence the other to my transcendence.
my war is choosing which one.*sorry to sound so glib.
Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 14:54:34
In reply to Re: killer empathy...*Trigger* » Phillipa, posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 14:32:22
Posted by Kath on November 22, 2008, at 21:43:49
In reply to killer empathy..., posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 8:32:39
Hi B2
I am sorry you're going through this.
I am wondering is this method that I sometimes use could help you in this situation. It's helped me for major trauma issues. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRXdQNA3aEk
It may seem weird, but has helped a lot of people.
luv, Kath
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