![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Melia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:27
I have been seeing a wonderful therapist for almost a year now, who has helped me a great deal. With the daemons of Bulimia and leaving a abusive relationship, and becoming a single mom. However I have had some major stresses there past few months and the other week just tipped the ice berg. I called my therapist hysterically bawling and in a total break down. We talked for about 20 minutes and then she helped me relax a little. Asked me to call back later that afternoon for a follow up call, because she was booked all day solid. So I did, but I am so embarrassed to ever go back and see her after what happened. I was so hysterical so has to think I am such an unstable loser. I am scared to stop therapy because she has helped me so much, but I am just to embarrassed to ever look her in the eye again.
Posted by kezia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:27
In reply to embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 23, 2007, at 12:37:28
> I have been seeing a wonderful therapist for almost a year now, who has helped me a great deal. With the daemons of Bulimia and leaving a abusive relationship, and becoming a single mom. However I have had some major stresses there past few months and the other week just tipped the ice berg. I called my therapist hysterically bawling and in a total break down. We talked for about 20 minutes and then she helped me relax a little. Asked me to call back later that afternoon for a follow up call, because she was booked all day solid. So I did, but I am so embarrassed to ever go back and see her after what happened. I was so hysterical so has to think I am such an unstable loser. I am scared to stop therapy because she has helped me so much, but I am just to embarrassed to ever look her in the eye again.
Oh my goodness. Please try not to be embarrassed. I am sure you are not the first client who has phoned their therapist in hysterics, nor will you be the last. She is there to help you - not only when you are calm, cool and collected, but particularly during the times when it feels like the whole world is coming crashing down around you. You are human and there will be times that you can't control your emotions. I, personally, would rather have a melt down with my therapist than in front of someone with whom I had not developed a trusting relationship. I really, truly believe that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I know it is hard to believe that, but it is true. I bet she was glad that you trusted her enough to open up in such a way with her. The first time I broke down in front of my therapist, she actually praised me at the next visit because she felt we had made a breakthrough and that I was really beginning to trust her enough to see that side of me (I had every emotion, even in therapy - weird huh).Hang in there, ok. Everything will be ok.
Posted by Kath on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:27
In reply to embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 23, 2007, at 12:37:28
> I have been seeing a wonderful therapist for almost a year now, who has helped me a great deal. With the daemons of Bulimia and leaving a abusive relationship, and becoming a single mom. However I have had some major stresses there past few months and the other week just tipped the ice berg. I called my therapist hysterically bawling and in a total break down. We talked for about 20 minutes and then she helped me relax a little. Asked me to call back later that afternoon for a follow up call, because she was booked all day solid. So I did, but I am so embarrassed to ever go back and see her after what happened. I was so hysterical so has to think I am such an unstable loser. I am scared to stop therapy because she has helped me so much, but I am just to embarrassed to ever look her in the eye again.
Hi Melia & Welcome,
First of all congratulations on taking care of yourself & making HUGE positive changes in your life!!!!!!!!
Please be gentle with yourself Melia. The fact that your T would talk with you on the phone & have you call her back shows that she's wonderful, WANTS to be there for you & takes her responsibility as your therapist seriously, I think.
You deserve to continue to have her help you, especially as she's familiar with your situation, etc. Her job is to continue to help you.
Do you think you could phone her & let her know how you feel? I really hope you can consider this Melia. I've found that if I'm really uncomfortable about something that involves another person, the best thing for me to do (if the other person is 'safe' & is not likely to hurt me in any way) is to tell them how I feel. If I'm afraid to tell my husband something in case he'll get upset, I will often start the conversation with "I need to talk about something, but I'm really nervous that you'll get upset." It feels like taking a deep breath to get that off my chest.
I highly doubt that your therapist thinks your an unstable loser!! If you've been under stress for the last while, the added stresses of this "holiday season" probably just tipped the scales for you & the mere fact that she was booked all day solid shows that you're not the only person who was desparately needing her help that day.
I sincerely hope that you do go back to your therapist.
Saying all that, I hear you & can understand how you could feel SO embarrassed! You have nothing to be ashamed of though. If people didn't have problems & meltdowns, therapists wouldn't have jobs!
Let us know how you're doing.
luv, Kath
Posted by seldomseen on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:27
In reply to embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 23, 2007, at 12:37:28
I know you will hear this a 1000 times, but here is 1001 - there really is nothing to be embarrassed about. Would you feel embarrassed to go to the dentist if you had an abcessed tooth? Would you feel embarrassed to go to the ER with a broken arm?
I think you would feel differently if you knew how much you had just helped your T to help you.
You see, as a part of the therapy process I think they need to see us when we are together, but most importantly, they need to see us when we come apart. This helps them to identify what triggers us, and helps them to provide insight to help us understand it and manage it.
What I would do would be to go to therapy and talk about how embarrassed you feel, I suspect your therapist would be very interested in that.
In any case, I'm glad you seem to be pulling through and that your therapy has been helpful.
Drop in over at the psych board sometime, it has tons of good therapy info.Welcome to babble.
Seldom
Posted by Melia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:27
In reply to embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 23, 2007, at 12:37:28
THANKS guys! I am not sure if I will keep my next appointment or not, because of this totally embarrassing moment. However I know she must deal with this all the time....she is a therapist and chose this career. The funny thing is I just took a job at the office she works at. I am a psychology student and now the theraputic boundries are getting very gray. We have talked about what is going to happen when I start(12/26/07, and have decited we can evulate the situations as they come up. I am more embarrassed then I would be because I have to start working there and it will be the first time I will see her face to face is my first day at work. Crazy isn't it! Anyway thanks to you guys it really helps to talk to someone about all this, I am so glad I found this site.
Posted by rskontos on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
In reply to Re: embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 23, 2007, at 15:52:14
Melia, first and foremost you reached out and asked for help that is not the behavior of a loser that is the behavior of a winner. Someone who wants to get better. When you recognize that circumstances are beyond your ability to cope and you reach out to someone to ask for help that is a huge step. And do you want to know how many times I have brokedown at my therapists office, and over the phone. Well, lets say you will need two hands to do the math. So, please please please go to the next appt. walk in with a sign if you must saying I am so embarrassed. Besides being the professional she knows already how you feel. It won't take much to get a conversation going on how you feel about that.
You know this is a first step, because you will make a better counselor yourself knowing firsthand how your own patients will feel going through this yourself. So be brave. On the psychology board you will many threads on this topic. I just went Friday to a new p-doc and I was so nervous. I was 40 minutes late. I cried on the message I left him. he called back I was still crying. We talked 15 minutes we made an appt. I told him when I finally got there 40 minutes late I was nervous he of course you why else would you be here if you didn't have something to be nervous over. I laughed an d felt ok. We talked for 2.5 hours. And I cried and asked him if I was crazy. But I will go back. So you can too. OK...... go over and read my thread for more if you want. You can do this...check out the psychology board.......of course you may not be going in counseling....anyway, sorry if I rambled....
take care,
rsk
Posted by Phillipa on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
In reply to Re: embarrassed » Melia, posted by rskontos on December 23, 2007, at 17:23:54
Just what rk says is true did you see the psychology board listed? A very good place for questions like yours. Good luck and take the job. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
In reply to Re: embarrassed » Melia, posted by rskontos on December 23, 2007, at 17:23:54
Jeez - that's amazing that you were given that much time!!!!!! I'm glad for you.
hugs, Kath
Posted by Kath on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
In reply to Re: embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 23, 2007, at 15:52:14
I can see why you're embarrassed due to the work-situation. But never mind. I still think it's best to just give a warm smile when you first see her & say "Wow - after the last time we talked it's quite the way to start my first day at work!! But here I am, calmed down & ready to go" or something. Perhaps a tiny reference to it, with a statement of being pleased to be starting the job or something.
Glad it helped you to be here. Hope you stay!
hugs, Kath
Posted by Melia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
In reply to embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 23, 2007, at 12:37:28
I can not thank you all enough....I only wish I would have found it a long long time ago. So you all know about the job I just took at the Therapist's office(She is not in a private practice) It is with the organization she works for. Anyway I just found out that the guy I have been seeing for about a month now(I am totally into him. His X-wife is really good friends with my therapist. She told me a story at our last session about a friend of hers(it related to what we were talking about) and it just clicked for me. So I did not want to jump to anything so I asked the guy I was seeing and he confermed my suspicions. He does not know I see anyone. I highly dought she has made the connection yet or she would have not told me the story she did the other week. I think I need to terminate therapy with her even though she is so amazing at what she does. The therapeutic relationship can just never go back. What do you all think? Can this get any more ironic?
Posted by rskontos on December 24, 2007, at 9:28:40
In reply to Re: embarrassed » rskontos, posted by Kath on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
Posted by star008 on December 24, 2007, at 14:42:52
In reply to embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:27
melia..
we have all done that.. i have been embarrassed too but that is what they are there for and the things we do don't surprise them. falling aprt and crying is not the sign of a loser. don't be so hard on yourself. You might feel funny when you go back but it will fade away.. Your T will help you to see that it is okay to get upset and it's okay to call..
Posted by Poet on December 24, 2007, at 15:19:15
In reply to embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:27
Hi Melia,
Give yourself some major credit for dealing with bulimia, an abusive relationship and becoming a single mom. All that stress is hard to handle and you shouldn't be embarrased that you finally had to let some of it out. In a far more healthy way than bingeing and purging (I'm bulimic, too and I know how easy that is to fall back into.)
I left my T a meltdown message on her voicemail when she was on vacation. I immediately left her an apology message, but she called me back anyway as soon as she could get a cell phone signal. She was out in a park somewhere. Talk about feeling guilty. Believe me that the embarrassment will pass, it didn't feel like it at the time, but it did for me.
Take care.
Poet
Posted by Kath on December 24, 2007, at 18:56:48
In reply to Re: embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
Hi hun,
I agree; it seems like it's getting a bit complicated! And yes, it sure is ironic!!
Hope you have a great holiday season.
Kath
Posted by muffled on December 29, 2007, at 19:03:47
In reply to Re: embarrassed, posted by Melia on December 24, 2007, at 1:51:28
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.