Shown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 7:21:43
I don't think I really trust my PDOC.. I am afraid to tell him the truth sometimes when I am feeling really bad because I think he will force me into hospitalization.. I don't think he really hears me when I am talking to him either.. I am not attached.. Maybe time to look for a new one.
I had one I really liked but he moved his office and took over one in a really nasty part of town.. I went there once and left in a panic attack.. Besides, I didn't know if my car would still be there when i got out.
Posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 7:34:04
In reply to Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 7:21:43
I wanted to add tht I am not worried about my T forcing me to be hospitalized but my PDOC is the medical director of a hospital unit so of course it is one of his first thoughts. I just can't go there. MIne is the only income here and I am one of those who is a "paycheck away from being homeless".. Besides how could I ever deal with my co-workers after that??
Posted by antigua3 on November 25, 2007, at 8:15:49
In reply to Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 7:21:43
No, he'd throw me in the hospital in an instant if he thought it was necessary. He's associated with NIH and it would be very easy for him to do this, so I'm very careful about what I say to him.
My T would never do it, unless I was a true harm to myself. Once I was so bad, she suggested I go to the hospital and I said no, and she said, "well, you're not going anywhere, even if you have to sleep here. Do you want me to get you a blanket and pillow?" In retrospect, it was funny, but I am so glad she cares and understands.
antigua
Posted by Dinah on November 25, 2007, at 11:15:33
In reply to Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 7:21:43
I can't imagine telling my pdoc anything important about myself. I might tell him I was doing badly, no more. Not because I think he'd hospitalize me. I doubt he takes me that seriously. More because he scares me witless. I remember having exactly one conversation with him where he didn't seem like the butler in one of those horror movies where a young couple's car breaks down outside a spooky old mansion. And that conversation was not about me.
It's ok though. I'm happy enough with my medications right now, and he's happy enough to prescribe them. There's no need at all to get personal with him.
Posted by Muffled on November 25, 2007, at 11:37:51
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » star008, posted by Dinah on November 25, 2007, at 11:15:33
I have no pdoc, not easy to find.
I have GP who is hard to get into.
I do not trust GP. She once phoned my T behind my back w/o asking me first. Fortunately my T told me.
My T has said she would tell me before she called 911. She said she would not surprize do it. Little while ago, she was gonna come to my house! and sit with me cuz she was concerned.
She has worked in the public system and knows how ridiculous it is here. There are good people that try and help, but way too many people needing help, and not enuf funding for programs.
Its really is a sad situation here :-(
I feel SO fortunate that I have managed to find a good T, who gives me a cut rate, and who understands
'the system',and how ineffective it is.
I feel sad for the many, many folks that need help and are not getting it.
We are still in the inhuman cave man days where the cops dumps drunks in alleys in the freezing cold to die. Cuz there was no room at detox, hosp not take them, and they don't want them in police cells cuz they too sick.
So they leave them to freeze to death.
Thats how mental health works here.
Its a joke.
A very sad joke.
M
Posted by seldomseen on November 25, 2007, at 13:39:37
In reply to Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 7:21:43
My T is a PDOC, so I get the combo package - which is good, but also it is bad. He and I are often at odds at what medication I need, so it all gets wrapped up in the therapy.
I usually defer to his experience, but not always.As far as going into the hospital. It can be an option - although I would consider it at last resort. Can doctors commit you against your will if you aren't a danger to others - just yourself?
Seldom.
Posted by RealMe on November 25, 2007, at 14:23:16
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » star008, posted by seldomseen on November 25, 2007, at 13:39:37
I have the same situation; my therapist/analyst is a psychiatrist and also prescribes the med I take, just Parnate at this time, but I wanted to reduce it from 40 mg to 30 mg., and he did not think it was a good idea. I said I could do it without telling him, and he stared at me and said he hoped all our communication could be honest. I felt like a heel, and I said I would continue with the 40 mg. I think he is correct with what I need; I just hate taking med's. I am on so many other meds for different physical things. I would like to eliminate something!!!
As far as a therapist being able to commit a person if they are suicidal, the answser is yes. Actually, they usually get a family member to sign the petition, and then they sign the ceritificate. In IL you need two signatures, but it is not hard to get. The treating psychologist or pyschiatrist can sign a certificate, and then the admitting psychiatrist usually signs the other.
My psychiatrist/therapist/analyst said he would do it (commit me) if he thought I was serious about suicide, and since I first tried to kill myself at age 8 by hanging, I think he would do it. He is not trigger happy, however, and knows if I talk about suicide, I am not likely to do anything. If I tell him I won't do anything until we meet again, I keep my word. He knows that I am more likely to do it and not ever say a word, and so we have that dynamic, unfortunately. So far I talk rather than act. I don't do other stuff like cut on myself or other self-destructive things though I used to do that years ago when I was hospitalized for intensive long-term treatment. Actually I almost got back into eating disorder stuff but was able to nip that in the bud. If I do anything self-destructive, it is in terms of relationships I have developed in the more recent past.
RealMe
Posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 15:21:04
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by antigua3 on November 25, 2007, at 8:15:49
well I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.. My old Pdoc said he wouldn't do it cuz I would figure out how to pretend everythng was fine and gt right back out..lol.. I would too;)
Posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 15:24:12
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » star008, posted by Dinah on November 25, 2007, at 11:15:33
Wow dinah. sorry he scares you but you sound as though you are okay with the meds and you can keep up a boundry with him. I don't think mine reallyhears what I am saying when I tell him things and it frustrates me.. I ahve been in quite a few psych wards since I work in a hospital and frnakly, I don't know how anyone could gt better there..They lump everyone together.. It doesn't even seem safe to me sometimes, it is so bizarre there.
Posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 15:26:06
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by Muffled on November 25, 2007, at 11:37:51
I know what you mean.. There is still such a stigma on people like us..We aren't nuts..We are just a bit screwed up..The hospital wards tht I have seen really suck.. I would be afraid to sleep.
Posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 15:28:50
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » star008, posted by seldomseen on November 25, 2007, at 13:39:37
Oh yes,, they can admit you without your consent if you are a danger to yourself.. I figure all I cn do is run and then the cops will start looking for me..So I am careful with what I say. The hospitals around here are not places I want to be.. You are treated likea child..They even take your shoes so you don't hang yourself with your shoelaces. No kidding..;(
Posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 15:31:08
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? **trigger** » seldomseen, posted by RealMe on November 25, 2007, at 14:23:16
I don't know if I would like my T and my pdoc to be the same person.. It could work if there was a deep level of trust and understanding but for me I couldn't picture it..The pdoc doesn't listen
Posted by seldomseen on November 25, 2007, at 16:46:12
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » seldomseen, posted by star008 on November 25, 2007, at 15:28:50
You know what I think? I think you should tell your pdoc your fears about being open with him about suicide. I think you should tell him exactly what you are afraid of (rightly so) in terms of hospitalization.
Also, if you are afraid of being honest, I wonder if it may be preventing you from getting the help you need. Maybe you two could sign a contract saying that there will be no hospitalization unless it is mutually agreed upon.
Walking around feeling suicidal is not a good way to be (understatement) and he may be able to help.
Seldom.
Posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2007, at 23:08:34
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » star008, posted by seldomseen on November 25, 2007, at 16:46:12
Can you believe that both my pdoc and therapist said I have a right to take my life and all I'd get in the hospital is the 72hour hold. And then if they sent you to the state hospital so overloaded out the next day. So I just keep things to myself. Phillipa
Posted by star008 on November 26, 2007, at 7:33:31
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » star008, posted by seldomseen on November 25, 2007, at 16:46:12
thanks SeldomYou are right, not saying anything leaves me a state of suicidal thoughts when there might be some help available.. I will give him a hypothetic situation and see what he has to say to that. I have to see him today..more drugs.."sigh"
Posted by star008 on November 26, 2007, at 7:46:12
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2007, at 23:08:34
I beleive you but that sounds really strange. Maybe they can only hold you for 72 hours unless they find something else to hold you with??
Posted by star008 on November 26, 2007, at 23:57:58
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » star008, posted by seldomseen on November 25, 2007, at 16:46:12
seldom,,
I took your advice< (almost..lol).. and told him I didn't trust him because I knew the pwoer he ad and what he could do to me.. I aksed him to please not do that unless he talks to my therapist first, (my T has never wanted to pink slip me.. He basically told me that he knew it would traumatic and would not be theraputic and would only have to do that if it meant saving my life. I guess I feel better that way.. He prescribed more drugs.. yahhhhhooo.. why do i know they won't work beoifre I even try them..
hugs
star
Posted by Racer on November 27, 2007, at 13:19:42
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » seldomseen, posted by star008 on November 26, 2007, at 23:57:58
> He prescribed more drugs.. yahhhhhooo.. why do i know they won't work beoifre I even try them..
>
> hugs
> starHm... Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy to me...
I currently have a pdoc I mostly trust. I like that he was very, very happy when my therapist contacted him to discuss what was going on with me. I really like that they'll work together, and that he sends reports to her and to my GP after every visit. Do I trust him? More than I have trusted any other pdoc -- and more than I have trusted most doctors of any stripe.
So, why am I telling you that? Just so's you can envy me...
No, actually I'm telling you that so that I can tell you this: having a pdoc I -- mostly -- trust has made a huge difference for me with medications. It's facile to say that the medications are what makes a difference, because the relationship with the doctor prescribing them has an impact as well. It's not that a drug works when one doctor prescribes it, but not when it's prescribed by another -- it's more complex than that. My last pdoc was very dismissive, and somewhat manipulative, and as a result I didn't have much tolerance for side effects. With this one, I know that he will discuss side effects and ways to mitigate them -- and the most important thing: I trust him to have enough respect for me as a human being to recognize that they are serious for me. Knowing that makes it much easier for me to tolerate some side effects -- at least in the short term. (I've got one right now that may turn out to be a deal-killer, but that's another story.)
Believe me, I know how difficult it is to find a pdoc who clicks. Believe me -- I also know how bad it is when a pdoc does not click. If your current pdoc isn't working out for you, you may find very great satisfaction in firing him... I know I felt great firing a pdoc or two... It's a very liberating experience. Advice on this: find a new one first, unless you're in an area with lots of good ones.
As for the hospital thing, congratulations on finding the courage to address it directly. If I'd done something like that, I'd still be shaking. Very brave of you, and I'm very, very glad he responded as he did. It sounds as though there might be a relationship to be built there.
Good luck, with the pdoc, with the drugs, and with everything else.
Posted by star008 on November 28, 2007, at 1:15:57
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc?, posted by Racer on November 27, 2007, at 13:19:42
Its not so much of a self-fulling prophecy as it is expereince.. I am treatment resisitant. I ahve tried almost every med there is and nothing works for long.. It is more like expereience.. I keep trying but don't have faith or get excited anymore that something will work.
thanks for your response. I may look for another doc..this one was better when I came right out and said I didn't trust him.. I think he might have gottent he message that he needs to work a little harder.. I have another prescription and do I think it is going to work?? Not likely but I will try anyway
Posted by elanor roosevelt on December 4, 2007, at 22:56:41
In reply to Re: Do u trust your Pdoc? » Racer, posted by star008 on November 28, 2007, at 1:15:57
my pdoc gives up on me periodically
and right now he thinks i am okay because i'm not awful
we have different standards for my quality of life
every time i leave him i end up with yet another egotistical one-med doc who charges$$$$$
then i go back to my mild mannered grey suit
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