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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
T says I'm doing dandy
pdoc says "marvelous"
T has suggested going down to once a week. It has to be MY idea though, or else I start doing manipulative things like "getting worse"
Maybe once a week until I start tapering off my meds. likely I will need more psychological support once my psychopharmacological support goes down to smaller dosage/fewer meds
ll
Posted by rskontos on October 26, 2007, at 10:30:45
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
Llurpsie, How do you feel about one a week? Do you feel ready for that? Were you already thinking about it when they brought it up or did it blindside you? But the really good news is that they both think you are doig great! That must feel like good support and if you feel you are doing pretty good then wow!
Let us know how you feel which is the most important part! :)
All in all it sounds really good! Way to go! rk
Posted by LLurpSieNooDlE on October 26, 2007, at 10:59:46
In reply to Re: thinking of going down to once a week, posted by rskontos on October 26, 2007, at 10:30:45
> Llurpsie, How do you feel about one a week? Do you feel ready for that? Were you already thinking about it when they brought it up or did it blindside you?
Well, it hurt my feelings the first time that T brought it up. He was scheduling me in his book and we were having problems fitting in the 2nd appt. and he said "maybe once a week is okay" or "maybe you don't need to see me twice" [I can't remember exact words]
This was several weeks ago (maybe 3 or 4 weeks?) I had a pretty rough weekend after that. I shall not elaborate, but I was embarrassed about what I did.
Maybe T is onto something though. next week I only have 1 appt scheduled, and I don't feel strange about it at all. in fact, I had a hard time coming up with enough things to say at my last appt.
Or is this just a way to avoid?
>But the really good news is that they both think you are doig great! That must feel like good support and if you feel you are doing pretty good then wow!
>
> Let us know how you feel which is the most important part! :)
> All in all it sounds really good! Way to go! rkThanks rk :) I hope that I am indeed doing as well as they seem to think I am doing.
-ll
Posted by B2chica on October 26, 2007, at 11:27:44
In reply to Re: thinking of going down to once a week » rskontos, posted by LLurpSieNooDlE on October 26, 2007, at 10:59:46
Llurpsie! that is Wonderful. i'm glad your docs think you are doing so well.
but jsut make sure YOU are ready for this change. and maybe do one or two weeks with only one session then a week with two, kinda taper down slowly.but are you ok with going off meds? was this planned?
just concerned.good job Ll!
Posted by Dinah on October 26, 2007, at 13:18:42
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
I think you're wise. You know what you need and can judge your own reactions. They ought to appreciate this sign of assertiveness and asking for what you need. :)
It doesn't hurt to think about it, and you can do it when *you* are ready.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on October 26, 2007, at 13:57:00
In reply to Re: thinking of going down to once a week, posted by B2chica on October 26, 2007, at 11:27:44
> Llurpsie! that is Wonderful. i'm glad your docs think you are doing so well.
> but jsut make sure YOU are ready for this change. and maybe do one or two weeks with only one session then a week with two, kinda taper down slowly.good idea!
I was also thinking of forcing myself to make an appt. to see a friend once a week, kind of as a substitute for when I won't see T.At least I can get out of the house for ONE HOUR sometime to go to a cafe and do some knittingtherapy once a week. That sounds manageable...
> but are you ok with going off meds? was this planned?
> just concerned.Thanks for your concern :) about 2 months ago pdoc mentioned that eventually I wouldn't have to take so many meds. I'm fine with taking an AD for a while, like a year or so. no problem. I'm on Zoloft. I also take benzodiazepines xanax or klonopin a couple times a week. I feel like I could exercise or something to replace those, or minimize the number of doses I take. I'm not sure that I need to be on two mood stabilizers. lamictal and abilify. I tolerate them well, no complaints, but seriously- 5 meds plus sleeping pill plus allergy plus dermatology Rx? my GOD llurpsie, how many crazypills are you taking?!?!?
>
> good job Ll!I'm trying :)
-Ll
Posted by llurpsienoodle on October 26, 2007, at 13:59:26
In reply to Re: thinking of going down to once a week » llurpsieNoodle, posted by Dinah on October 26, 2007, at 13:18:42
> I think you're wise. You know what you need and can judge your own reactions. They ought to appreciate this sign of assertiveness and asking for what you need. :)
(ahhh... but will I have the guts to talk about it in session today???)
>
> It doesn't hurt to think about it, and you can do it when *you* are ready.yes, there is some freedom here. I have insurance approval for 2x weekly until? january. So that's good news. Maybe I'll need to concoct some symptoms in January to insure more "treatment" so easy to get spoiled!
-Ll
Posted by ClearSkies on October 26, 2007, at 14:32:43
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
Just as our pharmacological needs are elastic, so may our therapeutic ones be also :-) There are times when my T will suggest greater or lesser frequency to our appointments, but she always lets me take the lead... not that I'm ever happy to do that! But it's OK to go down for a while to once a week and see how it goes, and if you are ever in a crisis (who, us??) then an extra appointment can be scheduled in as needed.
I always feel like I'm graduating when I go to every other week appointments, and feel like I'm failing somehow when I have to go once a week, but it's healthier for me to see the sessions as something that we schedule according to what my current needs are. Like I'm worth it.
See how it feels. See how you feel. And take it from there.
CS
Posted by fallsfall on October 26, 2007, at 16:01:19
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
I just went from 3/week to 2/week. It was completely my idea. And I'm still "doing manipulative things like "getting worse""...
Even knowing that this is part of why I'm "getting worse" doesn't make it better. Sigh.
I hope whatever you decide goes smoothly for you!
Falls
Posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 16:34:20
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
No Fair T.
We had a nice convo re. decreasing session frequency, he said that was fine, and thought I'd do fine. etc. reassured me etc.
Talked about how I need to stop "acting out". yes. HE ACTUALLY USED THOSE WORDS. Fair enough. I was acting out, even though I only realized it after the fact. Maybe he intended the words to act as a prophylactic?
Then he used the canopener. He said "one of the things I'm having a hard time understanding is _______" and there was nowhere else to go besides the traumatic past. Nowhere to go. So I went there. Now I don't feel so confident in my sanity. :(
I think T realized that I had changed my demeanor drastically. gave me the eye on the way out and said "llurpsie- don't think about this sh*t over the weekend, okay?". sorry T. Too late. you opened up the can of sh*t. thanks... Fine. I'll go there.
I guess one of the things I struggle with is that I feel sane about 90% of the time and insane about 10% of the time. Those parts of me don't want to get to know eachother.
dissociative disorders- ahem.
Posted by Deneb on October 26, 2007, at 16:50:35
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
The same thing has been suggested by my pdoc. I'm doing really well and I mentioned it and asked her if I still needed to see her weekly and she said I was doing really well and that maybe whenever I felt like it we could see each other every 2 or 3 weeks.
But then I worry that I'm doing well because I'm seeing her weekly.
So I don't know, I think I might stick with seeing pdoc every week.
How do you feel about seeing T weekly instead of biweekly? Do you feel it's helping? Does it inconvenience you to see T so often?
Posted by DAisym on October 26, 2007, at 20:47:02
In reply to T used the canopener » llurpsieNoodle, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 16:34:20
***I guess one of the things I struggle with is that I feel sane about 90% of the time and insane about 10% of the time. Those parts of me don't want to get to know eachother.
Exactly!! If only the insane part would be "out" when I'm sleeping!
One of the hardest things to learn is how to open up to thinking about past abuse and then close it down again. It takes practice, distraction and help. Sometimes learning to use your sessions as the place to be open is the key. (I'm not suggesting you aren't already open.) But sometimes it works best for me to know I have a time and a place for the crud and other places can be crud-free.
I hope your weekend is calm.
Posted by Dory on October 26, 2007, at 20:52:30
In reply to T used the canopener » llurpsieNoodle, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 16:34:20
and in the last of the session... yeah, i hear that. Like i said.. surgery.. left open.
you're a strong lady Ll.. remember what you told me? Find one thing of beauty?
((((((((((Ll))))))))))))
Posted by Phillipa on October 26, 2007, at 21:47:58
In reply to Re: T used the canopener » llurpsieNoodle, posted by Dory on October 26, 2007, at 20:52:30
Li I see it as a sign of getting well. Sometimes the more time you spend thinking of meds or seeing therapists could strenghthen the thought you are not well. It's like leaving a hospital with a cast and them taking if off till it's no longer there. I didn't know about the lamictal and abilfy though. So how many meds planning to go off of in the near future? Remember babysteps. Phillipa
Posted by RealMe on October 27, 2007, at 0:37:54
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
I think one deals with what one is ready for in therapy, and one does the work one "needs" to do and then moves on. If at some point in the future you feel you need more again, I would hope you don't "cut off your nose to spite your face," and if having therapy or what ever would be a disgrace or show some sort of weakness.
RealMe
Posted by twinleaf on October 27, 2007, at 9:36:39
In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27
ll, I thought you had some specific abuse issues which you were gradually preparing to talk about. If I remember correctly, you just began with this therapist last spring. Have you had time to form a really good connection with him, and to deal with the things that happened thoroughly? Just judging from me, it takes quite a long time to do that- lots of going over and over the same traumas until there is less pain associated with them. Do you agree with their assessment? If you do- wonderful! But, if you don't, you're the one who knows best.
I would think it might be good to gradually aim for less medication- not necessarily none, and see how you are after you've done that, before you cut down on the therapy.
Posted by Phillipa on October 27, 2007, at 19:36:07
In reply to Re: thinking of going down to once a week » llurpsieNoodle, posted by twinleaf on October 27, 2007, at 9:36:39
Twinleaf excellent point. Phillipa
Posted by llurpsienoodle on October 27, 2007, at 20:38:08
In reply to Re: thinking of going down to once a week » llurpsieNoodle, posted by twinleaf on October 27, 2007, at 9:36:39
> ll, I thought you had some specific abuse issues which you were gradually preparing to talk about. If I remember correctly, you just began with this therapist last spring. Have you had time to form a really good connection with him, and to deal with the things that happened thoroughly?
I think he and I have a good relationship at this point. I'm still trying to be a perfect client though. Don't want him to see me coming apart at the seams. But when he HAS seen me doing not well, he has been supportive; perhaps he doesn't want to provide positive reinforcement for my distress?
>Just judging from me, it takes quite a long time to do that- lots of going over and over the same traumas until there is less pain associated with them. Do you agree with their assessment? If you do- wonderful! But, if you don't, you're the one who knows best.
>
I'm pretty functional at this point. I have periods of distress, but I can keep it under control.
> I would think it might be good to gradually aim for less medication- not necessarily none, and see how you are after you've done that, before you cut down on the therapy.That's an idea. I guess my worst periods of instability were when I had little therapy support on top of med changes/withdrawal. definitely one of those cases of changing one thing at a time.
thanks for your insight
-Ll
Posted by LLurpsiEnOOdle on October 27, 2007, at 20:45:01
In reply to Re: T used the canopener, posted by DAisym on October 26, 2007, at 20:47:02
> ***I guess one of the things I struggle with is that I feel sane about 90% of the time and insane about 10% of the time. Those parts of me don't want to get to know eachother.
>
> Exactly!! If only the insane part would be "out" when I'm sleeping!
>I had a bad dream last night :( utterly horrifying :(
> One of the hardest things to learn is how to open up to thinking about past abuse and then close it down again. It takes practice, distraction and help. Sometimes learning to use your sessions as the place to be open is the key. (I'm not suggesting you aren't already open.) But sometimes it works best for me to know I have a time and a place for the crud and other places can be crud-free.
>
I folded it and put it away when I terminated with newT. I have unfolded parts of it. an episode here, a story there. Hoping that t would "get it" without my full out messy storytelling. Will he get it? Does he want to get it? what will happen if we start getting into this stuff again?> I hope your weekend is calm.
aside from the dreams and some ho hum dissociation. pretty good so far. didn't even get spooked from hallowe'en festivities!
-Ll
Posted by happyflower on October 28, 2007, at 19:12:47
In reply to Re: T used the canopener » DAisym, posted by LLurpsiEnOOdle on October 27, 2007, at 20:45:01
Hey Noodle,
Everyone has said such good stuff here, I don't have much to add to it. I think you should do what you feel you need. It is okay to make a decision to once a week, and then change it when you feel you need more support. Therapy isn't written in stone. It is your journey, you do what YOU need to do, your T is just along for the ride. Take care good friend. I miss you.
Posted by happyflower on October 28, 2007, at 19:45:15
In reply to Re: T used the canopener, posted by happyflower on October 28, 2007, at 19:12:47
Hey by the way,
How do you change your name in so many ways in the same thread?
LLurpsiEnOOdle
LLurpSieNooDlE
llurpsienoodleI want to do that too
Happyflower (normal name)
HAPPYflower (happyname)
HappyfLOWer (sadname)
Posted by rskontos on October 28, 2007, at 20:02:08
In reply to How do you do that?, posted by happyflower on October 28, 2007, at 19:45:15
I noticed it too and wondered if it reflected your moods? rk
Are you doing ok or at least a little better? Let us know please sweetie.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on October 28, 2007, at 21:39:01
In reply to Re: How do you do that?, posted by rskontos on October 28, 2007, at 20:02:08
Hi Happy,
Hi RskoThe way I do this is I just type my name in differently. sometimes I emphasize the noodlyness. sometimes I emphasise the llurpsieness, and othertimes I just wanna go hide!
I don't have cookies turned on so everytime I post or reply, I have to type in my name and password anew. kinda pain in the bootie
-Ll
Posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 28, 2007, at 21:41:28
In reply to Re: How do you do that?, posted by rskontos on October 28, 2007, at 20:02:08
> I noticed it too and wondered if it reflected your moods? rk
> Are you doing ok or at least a little better? Let us know please sweetie.I'm doing okay. I have moments when I think I'm losing my mind. Other times I feel completely in control. I am not exactly the captain of my own ship, but I *am* trying to give the captain maps under the door.
Thank you for asking :) makes me feel special :)
-Ll
Posted by rskontos on October 29, 2007, at 9:12:50
In reply to Re: How do you do that? » rskontos, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 28, 2007, at 21:41:28
You are special:) rk
This is the end of the thread.
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