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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Wittgenstein on September 2, 2007, at 8:18:01
This probably won't make much sense to most of you. I feel I need to apologise though as I haven't been around to support some of you in particular, when I should have been. I will be back in time. It's not that I don't care - just right now I don't seem to be able to do anything for anyone.
It seems to be getting harder and harder - I know exactly where Llurpsie is coming from with the above thread about therapy taking up too much room in ones mind. I feel sick - this feeling of nausea won't go away. Well I'm on this one-person fareground ride - it's the scariest ride out there - there's no way off and I'm careering down a huge seemingly endless drop. Sorry for the crappy analogy - I just wish I knew when I would start feeling better or at least get some relief.
For those of you out there also dealing with traumatic childhoods - maybe you know this feeling . I know this is part of the healing process but there's such pain and grief involved at times.
Sorry I'm wittering on - I just wanted to apologise. I am still here, just lost in my own world right now.
Witti
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 2, 2007, at 8:45:45
In reply to Apology **possibly triggering**, posted by Wittgenstein on September 2, 2007, at 8:18:01
Hi Witty,
I too, haven't been around much, or at least posting. Stuff is just hard to talk about for some reason. I want to support others but I just don't have any extra energy, because therapy is taking a lot, school, and my family. I just like to see the familar names on the boards but I don't know what to say, I am at lost for words.
So for whatever it is worth, I do understand.
Posted by honore on September 2, 2007, at 9:58:07
In reply to Apology **possibly triggering**, posted by Wittgenstein on September 2, 2007, at 8:18:01
Maybe if you share a little bit with us, we can help, or at least let you know you're not alone. I've had the same experience-- for many years, and at many times, with different Ts-- and it always helps to know that you're not the only one, and that others might have some point of view you hadn't seen.
I've missed you around here.
Honore
Posted by LadyBug on September 2, 2007, at 14:30:07
In reply to Re: Apology **possibly triggering**, posted by honore on September 2, 2007, at 9:58:07
I feel the need to apologize too. I read, but I don't reply as I'm currently giving all the energy I have in starting over in my life. It's a huge change after being married for 23 years.
My heart hurts, but it doesn't mean I don't care about my friends here on babble. I will have more to give in time.For now, I hope everyone understands that sometimes we ride in the cart while other's pull it for us and at other times we pull the cart for someone when they need a ride. Life is like that.
LadyBug
Posted by gardenergirl on September 2, 2007, at 15:11:08
In reply to Re: Apology **possibly triggering**, posted by LadyBug on September 2, 2007, at 14:30:07
Excellent way of thinking about it, ladybug. I like that cart analogy.
I can relate, too. I've not posted very much on this board in awhile, and it bothered me. I couldn't figure out what it was about. Recently, I thought that it might be that the discussions are interesting, complex, and deep here, and I don't always feel up to or that I have the energy to respond in a "good enough" manner. And I want to. So I guess I read and then avoid posting.
Maybe we need a code or buzz word to use when we are reading and caring but not up to posting. Maybe something like "Here" "Listening" or something else. That might help in both directions. We can show we care and those who posted know they are being heard.
What do y'all think?
gg
Posted by arora on September 2, 2007, at 19:59:44
In reply to Re: Apology **possibly triggering**, posted by gardenergirl on September 2, 2007, at 15:11:08
I belong to another forum, which is more esoteric in nature... when someone posts that they need help or healing, people respond by lighting candles for one another, (and not in the traditionally-known religious sense).
When I light a candle for someone, I try to hold good positive thoughts for them within me- but if I'm feeling depleted to the point where I don't have the strength to even do that, then just simply lighting a little candle is one way of saying to the universe or cosmos or whatever "I'm just sending them a bit of positive energy".
While it burns, when I look at it I think of them-and I do think it must help. So when someone posts on here with 'big' triggering stuff that I can't respond to, that's what I do. Just light a candle, and try to send whatever positive thoughts I can.
Maybe it would help if they knew this- I don't know. I'm a great believer in positive energy- but that's my own personal faith.
arora
Posted by RealMe on September 3, 2007, at 3:54:50
In reply to Re: Apology **possibly triggering**, posted by gardenergirl on September 2, 2007, at 15:11:08
Here it is 4 a.m. and I am still up. What is wrong with me??? Anyway, I understand what his said here. Sometimes I just read; sometimes I post more in depth, and sometimes I just say a few words. It sort of depends on where I am at. Sometimes I just don't even want to come and look, but I end up doing so. I feel guilty sometimes because I might want to say something to somebody, and then I don't. Sometimes I want to stay away because I want to say to hell with therapy and anything associated with it. I don't have time for this; life is too short. Then I go to therapy, and it starts all over again. It does bleed out into the rest of my day, and I just can't afford to waste two days a week at work just trying to manage what happened in therapy that day. Oh crap. I think I need to say something to my therapist. Then again; what the H is he going to do. I am exhausted from therapy. I can talk the talk sometimes, but I don't want to walk the walk.
RealMe
(OzLand)
Posted by Honore on September 3, 2007, at 9:07:34
In reply to Re: Apology **possibly triggering** » gardenergirl, posted by RealMe on September 3, 2007, at 3:54:50
I guess we all go through periods when we feel too drained or overwhelmed, or hurt, or exhausted, physically or mentally. We expect a lot of ourselves-- we want our responses to say something real, to give something to ourselves and the other person. I know I do.
It's important to me not to say something insensitive or off-key, something that hits a nerve, or is just what the person doesn't want to hear.
Sometimes, I don't feel up to that. I feel tired, or out of sorts, or driven, or anxious, sometimes I can't sit still long enough and I don't like to say only a few words-- when it's a complicated thing.
So I don't say anything. Maybe that's wrong, and leaves the person feelings that no one cares, or has read, or is interested. It isn't that-- though-- it's all these other thing in my head, about not having enough or the right thing to give.
And I always welcome what people say-- whether they're upset, or have had some good news, or upsetting/good news, or have a problem, or an experience to tell. I welcome it-- just that they're here, and care enough to confide in me, among others--
But it's hard to communicate that at times. And at times, it's hard to communicate the things that bother me-- I hold that back, because I feel so badly about it.
There are so many things that keep us from being there (or here), but we do overcome them. I appreciate RealMe's writing what she did-- because it captures how I often feel, with many thoughts running through my head, not in circles, but leading me to a sense of quandry, that doesn't resolve itself and seems almost useless to share. I think-- no one can help me with this because it's pretty hopeless, and it's been going on for so long. And too I wonder, what's wrong with me? But I find no answer.
Honore
Posted by RealMe on September 3, 2007, at 14:27:13
In reply to Re: Apology **possibly triggering**, posted by Honore on September 3, 2007, at 9:07:34
Honore
I hope you don't give up as I have always appreciated your posts and what you have to say. We could probably all find some value in going back and looking at out own posts to others, and it might give us a clue as to our strengths and where we need to go with our own treatment. HUM; what do you think? Honore? Anyone?
RealMe
(OzLand)
This is the end of the thread.
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