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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 9:37:54
I'm thinking about you today, isn't it the day you have your appointment with your former T. Wow, how's the anxiety? I hope it goes well for you. Let us know ok. I hope you leave feeling warm inside and not hurt. But how do you take back what he said to you? There's no excuse for what he said.
By the way, I'm moving today! Leaving the H. He has no where to go, long story, not my fault. I can't wait to start over. My daughters and I have a newer townhome we are moving to. So my sotmach is full of anxiety today too. I can't believe I'm finally doing this! It is bitter sweet after 23 years of marriage, the first 13 were good and I actually loved him with all my heart. I just can't live with the things he's done over the past 10 years. It's been hell and I'm not willing to live like this anymore. I deserve some happiness and peace of mind instead of wondering what he's going to pull next!!!
Take care and know I care about you. Let me know ok???
LadyBug
Posted by B2chica on August 24, 2007, at 10:03:51
In reply to Happy Flower .... :-), posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 9:37:54
(((((((((HF)))))))))
i'm thinking of you too! oh i hope your session goes well. i hope it is everything you need for good closure!and LB, i am so very happy for you. anxiety if probably high, but you need a little extra adrenaline for those heavy boxes right? :)
take care and i am very happy you are making such a good decision for both you AND your girls!
Best Wishes LadyBug!b2c.
Posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 12:02:46
In reply to Re: Happy Flower .... :-), posted by B2chica on August 24, 2007, at 10:03:51
Adreneline! You got it and you're so right, I need it for the heavy boxes!!! I can't believe what I'm doing. My T told me last night that she's proud of me if she can use the word proud. She's helped me grow on my journey. I'm slow........
Thanks so much
LadyBug
Posted by wishingstar on August 24, 2007, at 12:44:55
In reply to Happy Flower .... :-), posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 9:37:54
I havent been posting lately but I have been reading and following your situation with your old T. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you today as well. I've been throwing around the idea of confronting my old T who abandoned me last year.. and even though are situations are different, I just want to say I'm really impressed with your strength and ability to face this head on. Even though I'm sure it'll be very hard and bring up a lot of difficult feelings, just the fact that you're doing it is great. I'll be interested to hear how it goes. Good luck!
Posted by Dinah on August 24, 2007, at 12:58:22
In reply to Happy Flower .... :-), posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 9:37:54
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 13:03:48
In reply to Happy Flower .... :-), posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 9:37:54
It went well, I was nervous, couldn't sleep much last night, so I slept in this morning. Had to go to the gym to get a shower since our water heater deceided not to work today. Which is okay becauase the gym is nearby his office.
When I got up, I felt sort of out of it, probably due to Xanax, do you get sort of a hangover from it when you only take it once in a while.
Well anyways, I got ready, put on my makeup and got dressed after my shower, it was funny people at the gym never seen me "cleaned up" before.
Okay, I know I am rambling and you want to hear the good stuff, right? LOL
Well I walked in and he smiled at me and I felt relieved, I was smiling too, so I think he was relieved. He told me welcome back. He asked how I was and If I liked my new therapist. He asked me if there was something I wanted to say first, before he he said stuff he wanted to say. I was really calm, I think that EMDR stuff really did help me with today. I told him I wanted to clear the air with him because I didn't feel good the way it ended on the phone. That I didn't want the last phone calls where I was very emotional to be the last memories of me. He told me he doesn't have any hard feelings about me now or before. Then I said well ya, because you don't really care anyways,right. He told me he did care about me and always have, and that his statement earlier about that didn't come out the way he wanted it to.
Well I told him who my new T was, and yes my T has known him for over 20 years. He said he was glad I had chosen him especially since he does EMDR. He asked me if we talked about that yet. I said yes, in fact I got reemed out yesterday with the EMDR in fact. I looked at him and I said it was about the feelings I was having over him and what he had said to me in our last session. I think my old T was really taken back from that. I said I never thought I would use EMDR about our relationship, but it was gut wretching, and left me emotionally exhausted last night and this morning. I slept in until 10pm. He was listening to me and then he asked why my new T didn't want me to see him. I told him that he thought he , and not just him, but any therapist, including my new T who has worked with a client as long as he has with me, with the ending we had, may become defensive. My T kinda amiled, and , said he said that hugh. I told him that my new T figured out who he was even before I told him his name. He kinda laughed and said yup, my new T knows him.
But he didn't get densive, maybe because I told him I was afraid he was going to.
I then asked him if something was going on with him before our session. He then told me he had some heart arthimia problems from the last 3 days, but it had settled down before the day of session. Well I said that I think it still effected him like it did before. I told him I think when he gets like that he seems to have less patients and less sensitivity when he is having those problems. He said I was probably right.
Some of this stuff is out of order, but he asked me if I like working with my new therapist. I said yes, I belive I mad a good decision. I said he is warm and fuzzy guy and that is kinda what I needed. He said yeah, I am not really the warm fuzzy type of guy. I said well I feel you probably are at times, but not that I will ever see. We laughed. I told him how my new therpist have me insites on how therapy effects the therapist. About how to keep boundries and yet still keep your senistivity. I told him that he told me about how some clients have pushed his buttons at times where he acted inappropiately, and that all T's are human. He didn't say anything, but I think he knew what I was saying without me even saying it. I did tell him that what happened was about him, that it wasn't about me, because I wasn't being any more difficult then I am usually am. He kinda agreed, I don't think he liked that I said that.I told him that I did know him even some of his faults even if he didn't think so, I said I have sat in this chair for over 2 years, and I think I do know you, and I still think you are a great guy. This was pretaining to an earlier session where he said I really don't know his faults.
The whole session things were okay, and nice, and he listened to me. I am still feeling kinda exhausted even now. I think I will post more later about the rest, after a nap.
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 14:21:05
In reply to Thanks, I am back home now, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 13:03:48
Uggghhh! No nap for me, the water heater guy is coming, hope it doesn't take long because I need a nap.
Well the session was nice but kept at a good level, without either of us getting into anything really deep. He told me how he enjoyed working with and athought I was a challenging client, I was great to work with, never boring, he had to be on his toes, and I asked good questions and I made a lot of progress, and he felt in spite of what happened at the end, he still feels I have done great, and if he were to pick a therapist for me, he said he would have picked the guy I had choosen. he told me he was really proud of me.
He went on to say that he believes it is a good thing to change therapists to get other insites espeically after working for a couple of years together. I think he is right, because it is sort of refreshing to get other feedback. He told me that my new T does more EMDR than he does, and has had a lot of experience in the really hard cases. I think I have had lot of luck so far with T's.I asked him if he has worked with clients as long as me. He said yes, he has some clients who he has worked with a long time, but it was more for a mantaince sort of thing too keep them from going to the hospitial as much, it really wasn't to help them improve, because they probably have met their peak in performance with the different conditions they had. But he said I was in the top 10 percent for long term clients. But he keep working with me because I was trying so hard and I was improving. I still have more to work on to be who I have potential to be from his observations, but he believes that can be done. He said he has a differnt type of clients because of his private practice, then when he worked in the mental health centers, or in the prisons. Most of his clients are short term, because that is all they need. I had a lot of stuff, so that is why he worked with me as long. He said he would have continued to work longer than this year too, because there is some more stuff he felt he could help with.
We did talk about crossing each others paths again, and we did talk a bit about the coincedences of our crossings. So he thinks we will probably cross paths again and he will be happy to see me because he feels good helping me and will be proud to see me grow even more as profesionally and personally.
We talked about more stuff than that, but that is all I can think of at the moment. But overall it was a positive experience for both of us and I am glad I did it.
BUt I still feel very drained right now, I need a nap, I hope the waterheater guy is done soon. I guess it is only minor.
But I really wanted to thank you all for your support and everything. I am sure I will still need your good advice and caring as I start on part 2 of my journey. Dang this was so hard, but I feel I got the ending I needed. We didn't hug or cry, I really didn't want that anyways now, but I left things on good terms, something I think I learned from him. I will miss him for sure, and he will never be forgotten. It was a little sad for the both of us, but we will both have to work on that and everything will be okay. Well now after 89 bucks, my water heater is fixed and maybe I can take a long hot bubble bath tonight before bed. But right now I am going to take that much needed nap!
One good thing with my new T is that he wants to see me weekly, not every 2 weeks. I think that will help a lot.
Posted by Dinah on August 24, 2007, at 14:27:01
In reply to Re: Thanks, I am back home now, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 14:21:05
I'm so glad it went well, and that he did his part to make it go well.
Congratulations to you for doing something I don't think I would have the courage to do!
Posted by B2chica on August 24, 2007, at 14:40:05
In reply to Thanks, I am back home now, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 13:03:48
Oh HF!!!!!!
i am SOOOO HAPPY for you....
it sounds like this session was Just what you needed for good closure.i'm really glad it was a good experience for you...and hon, you take a NICE LONG nap ok?! you SOOO deserve it!
and when you wake up...have some chunky monkey or cookie dough ice cream...k!
You done good HF!
So proud of you!b2c.
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 24, 2007, at 16:24:16
In reply to Thanks, I am back home now, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 13:03:48
I'm so proud of you, HF. I think you are on a good path here.
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 20:51:57
In reply to Happy Flower .... :-), posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 9:37:54
Hi Ladybug,
All moved in yet? I remember moving it is something I said I would never do again. I understand the bittersweetness of it. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, you sound strong today. You do deserve happiness and love and even though it may take time to get there completly, I am sure you are on your way.
How are your daughters taking all of this? I guess it is something I think about when I leave my DH, my kids. It seems like it will be so painful for them.
Well I hope you can find something pretty to put in your new house that can celebrate your next chapter in you life. Even if it is simple as new towels or new bedspread or something like that. I hope to talk to you soon, I really apprecite all your support, you can hang out on my new pedals anytime, hopefully the slugs will stay away from me.
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 20:55:41
In reply to Re: Thanks, I am back home now » Happyflower 1 :-), posted by B2chica on August 24, 2007, at 14:40:05
Hey B2, I took your advice! I had 2 long naps and I had some yummy Eddy's loaded choco chip cookie dough. Bad for weight watchers but what the heck, life was hard this week.
I am still in sort of a daze, but I really am happy for all your support and stuff. I have a feeling I might be kinda needy for awhile.
((((B2)))))
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 20:58:33
In reply to Re: Thanks, I am back home now » Happyflower 1 :-), posted by Dinah on August 24, 2007, at 14:27:01
Hi DInah,
It is nice to hear from you, you seem to be missing from the boards lately, or maybe it has been me missing.
You know I never thought I could do what I did today either, not in a million years. I told my T at the end I will never forget him , and he said he hopes it was because of good stuff and not bad things. I said it was because of the good stuff. ;-) We will cross paths again, so it isn't like I lost him forever, and that is good.
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 21:01:41
In reply to Re: Happy Flower .... :-), posted by wishingstar on August 24, 2007, at 12:44:55
Hey wishing star, I have missed you in chat and on the boards. How is everything?
Thank you for reading my posts, I am sure how I will come out of all of this, I hope I did the right thing. I am still out of it tonight, I am so drained, it is weird. But thank you, wishy!
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 21:02:39
In reply to Re: Thanks, I am back home now » Happyflower 1 :-), posted by TherapyGirl on August 24, 2007, at 16:24:16
Thanks TG,
I hope I am on the right path too, it is hard to know sometimes. Thanks so much!
This is the end of the thread.
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