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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by frida on June 7, 2007, at 23:11:26
Hi,
Just feeling the need to write...was reading the posts above and I am in tears. I feel very little...I feel 5 yrs old or less... :-( saw my T today, and she was so reassuring and did things to make the little girl in me feel safe. She reassured me and it brought tears just to hear but I didn't cry. I can't. I cry alone. My T held me for some minutes before I left. It meant a lot. It was very brief, but unexpected and I felt so safe. She told me that she can hear so much in all that I haven't told her and in my fear and silence.
I am just feeling very scared. How will I be ok now? I haven't told yet and I'm scared of not being able to tell. I know my T cares..though it's hard to hold on to that feeling and keep it in me. I just feel lots of tears..and I feel very little...we talked a little about how hard it was to just be there waiting, knowing he'd come to hurt me and not knowing exactly when but knowing it would happen :-( I have that feeling now..it hurts, and it hurts to keep the feelings to myself...I can't share yet with her..just little bits....but I can't...She says I am "telling" somehow even if I don't tell with words out loud but I feel the pain of what I haven't told and I wish I could tell her and share the feelings, and just cry as a little girl and feel safe.
Will this be ok?
I'm just feeling scared and it hurts so much.I do feel grateful that my T is with me. I need to find the way to speak and share the emotions I've buried. Is there a way out of this?
Just feeling scared and small.
afraid of not being able to handle things.Thanks for listening,
Frida
Posted by sunnydays on June 7, 2007, at 23:22:37
In reply to will i be ok?, posted by frida on June 7, 2007, at 23:11:26
((((((frida))))))
Yes, it will be ok. You don't have to tell your T right now. Wait until you're ready. And you'll do it when you are ready. I remember when I first started T I could barely talk and I certainly couldn't say anything that happened to me. I would sit there for a whole session almost without saying anything, and maybe get out one or two sentences of what happened. So I think it's good that you're talking at all, even in a round-about way, and I bet your T does too.
You'll be ok. Deep breaths. I know how it feels to feel little. It's a scary place to be in. I can't do it yet, but can the adult part of you comfort the little girl part and tell her she will be ok and that you will keep her safe now, that no one's going to hurt her?
I think it's important to tell ourselves that we are ok and safe now and can take care of ourselves. And to try to snuggle in a blanket or do something soothing. I have a stuffed animal I cling to like it's the only thing that can help me when I feel little.
sunnydays
Posted by frida on June 7, 2007, at 23:34:02
In reply to Re: will i be ok? » frida, posted by sunnydays on June 7, 2007, at 23:22:37
Thank you..
Thank you for saying i don't have to tell right now and I can wait and it'll be ok even if I can't tell right now. Maybe telling little bits is ok..and she'll understand?It is painful to feel little. I felt comforted and safe when I was with my T and she said I was safe. Just hearing that meant so much. I can't believe it when I say it myself. Hearing my T is so important...she told me today that I was safe, and that she was there.
It's hard to know how to believe that I'm alone. :-( Such a deep need to be told "you are safe, no one will hurt you..".
Just those words bring tears to that little girl.I will try to do something soothing. Like holding a teddy bear and trying to hold on to what my T said..I'll try to believe I won't stay alone and lost with the "bad stuff".
Thank you so much for your message.
It helps a lot...
Frida
Posted by DAisym on June 8, 2007, at 0:13:51
In reply to Re: will i be ok? » sunnydays, posted by frida on June 7, 2007, at 23:34:02
Yes, Frida, you will be OK.
Can you write down some of your session so you can remember it better? Like -
Therapist: "you are safe."
Frida: "I feel safe with you."My therapist told me today, "he can't hurt you anymore. I won't let him." I'll share that with you. Slowly, at your own pace, you will tell. Don't worry about it. Your therapist will wait.
Take care of yourself.
Posted by B2chica on June 8, 2007, at 7:44:18
In reply to Re: will i be ok? » frida, posted by DAisym on June 8, 2007, at 0:13:51
"he can't hurt you anymore. I won't let him."
what i wouldn't give to hear those words from someone....and to believe them.
This is the end of the thread.
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