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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 14:56:56
Sorry for so many posts recently.
Have any of your Ts ever asked you a question that just completely blows you out of the water? Not in a "I never realized that" sort of way, just.. surprise maybe? Or anything particularly funny?
Ginny won an award today, in my mind, for asking the most uncomfortable question I've ever been asked in 6 years of therapy. We were talking about sexual history (consensual acts) and being somewhat vague until she comes out with....
"did you ever have an orgasm with him?"
WHOA THERE Ginny! haha. I just about died. I answered truthfully, but I dont think I've ever been that uncomfortable in therapy in my life.
Anyone have any other real zingers to share?
Posted by happykat on December 7, 2006, at 16:04:56
In reply to uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 14:56:56
I've had that question come up too. I imagine it would be especially disconcerting if you weren't expecting it. I have sexual dysfunction issues so I've resigned myself to having to occasionally delve into those issues. Not my favorite! :(
HK
Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 7, 2006, at 16:24:08
In reply to Re: uncomfortable therapy moments » wishingstar, posted by happykat on December 7, 2006, at 16:04:56
Umm... my current T spoke with my old T about my stuff before we met the first time.
Our first session had some components of an interview. She asked me about self-injury (wanted me to get really specific with her) about my sexual history (who what when how) etc.
Of course it was really difficult, but it also felt kind of liberating to get all that icky stuff over with.
Anyways, she's a very nice woman, and she had this lovely little thing that she said when she could see that I was mortified. It's okay, Llurpsie. It's okay to tell me this "crap". I'm here to hold your "crap". That's what I do. I can hold [her hands cupped like a bowl] your "crap".
Oh my. Maybe if she had known me better she wouldn't have made her little bowl gesture. she would have made a gesture like a giant trying to hug an iceberg.
Posted by annierose on December 7, 2006, at 16:49:33
In reply to uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 14:56:56
As uncomfortable and personal that question may be, I don't think it's outside the norm for a therapist to ask if sexual issues are being discussed. It's important (I think?) for her to know if that is possible for you.
I like Ginny. I'm glad she feels a certain comfort level to ask. And it's perfectly okay for you to say, "I don't feel comfortable answering today." Many times I let my t know that I don't feel like talking about a certain subject/issue/relationship --- but I do get back to it when I'm ready --- or she'll keep after it if she think I'm hiding something.
Posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 22:29:05
In reply to uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 14:56:56
Hm well more of you have had this or a very similar experience than I expected. I'd never been asked in therapy before, and I did not experience any sexual abuse nor do I have any significant sexual "issues" aside from making bad decisions in that area. I agree with you annierose that it means good things that Ginny even asked that. In a sense, I'm glad she did.. it definitely signifies a lot of trust and openness. It really just caught me off gaurd. I did answer her truthfully. I guess I was more amused by the entire situation than anything else. :)
Posted by muffled on December 7, 2006, at 23:18:47
In reply to Re: uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 22:29:05
I'd blank right out if my T said that.
i couldn't even write sex stuff.
I once wrote that DH was getting 'friendly', close as I could get....LOL!
Muffled
Posted by Daisym on December 8, 2006, at 2:15:12
In reply to OMG!! » wishingstar, posted by muffled on December 7, 2006, at 23:18:47
A few weeks ago I said something like, "it just magnifies all the things I don't like about myself. You know - that private list everyone has about their worst features." I was just talking away and he said, "You have a list? Can you tell me what's on it?" Ummm - no! I said, "I don't think so..." He said, "why not? Haven't we shared a lot already?" I said I didn't want to point out these things in the off chance that he hadn't seen them for himself yet. He laughed.
And then said he wouldn't believe them anyway. :)
Posted by wishingstar on December 8, 2006, at 7:59:41
In reply to Re: OMG!!, posted by Daisym on December 8, 2006, at 2:15:12
Muffled, it was a slower progression up to that big question, but still.. I blanked for a second just like you said. I'm sure I was giving her that nervous laugh the entire session. But if there is any T I'd want to ask me that question (and there really isnt..) it'd be her.
And Daisy, I do know exactly what youre talking about! I've felt that same way actually. I hesitate to say bad things about myself because what if it makes her think worse of me? What if I tell her things she hadnt seen in me? I hate when they catch those little side comments that werent meant to be taken any further. Usually they were side comments for a reason! But your Ts response sounds good. :)
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 8, 2006, at 20:32:34
In reply to uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 14:56:56
There have been so MANY uncomfortable moments in 21+ years that I'm having a hard time recalling the details of a particular one. But I'll think on it and get back to you.
I do remember being intensely uncomfortable talking about sex at all from the time we met (I was 22) until I was in my 30s.
Then in the past couple of years, I have attempted on a couple of occasions to talk about spirituality, which is a very uncomfortable topic for me because of my history. What happens is, I try to start the conversation, she jumps in with a question and I end up saying something like, "Can we PLEASE talk about my sex life instead?" LOL
Posted by Karolina on December 9, 2006, at 15:05:08
In reply to uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 14:56:56
Sometimes their questions really can catch you offguard...last week I was talking about how irrationally I would just like to hook up with this guy that works at the same place as me even though he's already in a relationship and I'm really not the type of person to just 'hook up' with somebody.
But this guy is exceptionally attractive. Anyway I was explaining it to my T and he asked if the girlfriend would 'join in'...I blanked out completely and was finally like 'you mean like a threesome?' And he said yea. I just found that extremely random! He also has asked me stuff like 'what do you fantasize about?'....it can definitely get uncomfortable/weird sometimes, I know exactly how you feel =)
Posted by annierose on December 9, 2006, at 23:42:21
In reply to Re: uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by Karolina on December 9, 2006, at 15:05:08
Okay - that's a OUT OF THE BLUE question - you know where his brain is at!! That would never cross my mind - what a jump! a leap!- I think I would have said, "That may be your fantasy but I wanted him all to myself!".
I would have cracked up!
Posted by Karolina on December 10, 2006, at 3:04:46
In reply to Re: uncomfortable therapy moments » Karolina, posted by annierose on December 9, 2006, at 23:42:21
i KNOW! Wasn't that crazy for him to ask?!? I'm glad I'm not the only one that found that insanely random! I started laughing and just kind of said 'I don't think so' and he started laughing too but yea...it was definitely bizzare!
Posted by frida on December 10, 2006, at 9:19:01
In reply to Re: uncomfortable therapy moments, posted by wishingstar on December 7, 2006, at 22:29:05
Hi..
I've enjoyed reading this thread.
I've had a lot of uncomfortable moments.
most of them have to do with my inability to mention body parts or talk about sexual things.
It's a hard, loaded issue, but the other day I hinted and tried to say and she insisted i said the 'ugly word' beginning with p....to refer to a male part. It took me half an hour and I finally whispered it to her. It was incredibly hard.and questions...I can't seem to be able to think of one that is "light".
thank you all for sharing,
Frida
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