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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on November 14, 2006, at 21:25:14
I know your T is out of town this week. Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you and hoping it is going okay.
Posted by Daisym on November 15, 2006, at 0:51:54
In reply to Hi, Daisy -- How's it going?, posted by TherapyGirl on November 14, 2006, at 21:25:14
Thanks for asking. Today was a hard day.
I talked to my husband last night about holidays, etc. And then cried for two hours. It isn't that I want things to go back, I just feel so sad about it all. But he certainly seems fine and has moved on. Maybe that hurts my feelings?
I saw my group therapist for an individual session today. It was weird to be in someone else's office. And she doesn't know so much. I realized how easy communication has become with my therapist, those half sentences and the looks that mean, "go ahead, just say it." She was very nice and I cried like an idiot when we talked about my therapist being away during this very hard time. I left feeling kind of raw, the missing him was so big. So I haven't decided yet whether this support session made it better or worse.
I'm supposed to be journaling to him everyday. I haven't written to him at all. I can't help but wonder what that is about?
But all in all, I'm fine. Really. (Repeat three times forcefully - I'm fine. Fine. Just fine.)
Posted by TherapyGirl on November 15, 2006, at 6:30:47
In reply to Re: Hi, Daisy -- How's it going? » TherapyGirl, posted by Daisym on November 15, 2006, at 0:51:54
I'm sorry it's so hard and feels so raw. I understand the feeling, though. I, too, have a hard time journaling when my T is away -- even when I've made a concerted effort to do so. I can't seem to get through a week without her without shutting down. I keep trying, though...
(((((((((Daisy))))))))))
Posted by annierose on November 15, 2006, at 6:56:15
In reply to Re: Hi, Daisy -- How's it going? » TherapyGirl, posted by Daisym on November 15, 2006, at 0:51:54
The holiday discussion had to be so hard. Having to share something like that is never easy, and it's the first time. I imagine, although I have no idea, it may get easier with each holiday. Maybe not. Do you think what you have decided is fair?
Hearing in his voice the "I've moved on, you are no big deal to me anymore" in his voice is hurtful. Remember, he puts on that voice to protect himself from the truth. No matter how much we needed to distance ourselves from our spouses, there is probably a special part reserved for our husbands, they are afterall, the father of our children. He feels the same. He misses you too.
I'm glad you went to that session tonight. I don't think putting a voice to your feelings that were already there could make it worse. Perhaps, it just made it more real - hearing it out loud. So just like verbalizing made it seem more real, journaling would bring about that same realization. Maybe that's the scary/sad part.
I know the mantra well myself. And I add to it, "Breathe, breathe, I'm okay, breathe, deep breath ---" all this yoga self-talk that helps most when I'm in the class.
Posted by orchid on November 15, 2006, at 13:13:28
In reply to Re: Hi, Daisy -- How's it going? » TherapyGirl, posted by Daisym on November 15, 2006, at 0:51:54
Hi Daisy,
Sorry to see you feeling so sad. It must be really hurtful to see your husband moving on while you are still struglling with dealing with your issues from the past.I don't have an answer, but I just wanted to offer some support. I think of you every so often and hope you will feel better soon.
I am sure with time and patience, you will overcome this sadness and will emerge into a happy person. I am glad you have a supportive therapist also. The attachment to Ts during therapy is there for a reason, and I am glad your T helps you quite nicely with it.
Sometimes the sadness and the grief seems too overwhelming and keeps coming out like an erupting volcano and it never seems to stop. But it does stop after a period - though it might be a little longer than we anticipate. But I can say for sure when all that that has been buried beneath has erupted, you will find lot of peace and happiness. When I was struggling, there never seemed to be an end. But at some point it stopped and for the most part life seems serene nowadays. And the struggles I had seem so far away.
Anyway I hope things get better for you.
Posted by SatinDoll on November 15, 2006, at 15:03:40
In reply to Re: Hi, Daisy -- How's it going? » Daisym, posted by orchid on November 15, 2006, at 13:13:28
Daisy,
It is soo hard to read what you are going through, because I see myself in the exact same place in the future. I just don't know what to say to make it any better for you because to me, being in that situation around the holidays must be so painful and really suck. Somehow so many people do it, I just don't how. (((((daisy and her children)))))
Keep writing this week, even if you are sad. I sure miss your posts lately.
SatinDoll
This is the end of the thread.
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