![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 30. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
Hi everyone. Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. I’ve been incredibly busy at work and it’s exhausting… so when I haven’t been working I’ve mostly been sleeping. Oh, and also there were several weeks where I couldn’t get online… I had to buy a new computer…
Things are really hard for me at the moment. My T keeps forgetting important stuff. It’s been going on since May, and he’s forgotten lots of things: topics we’d decided to work on, appointments, and so on. He got a new job a couple of months ago and forgot to tell me until two weeks ago (but at least he can still work with me). We talked about all this forgetting last week and said we’d talk about it some more on Wednesday this week.
So I showed up for my appointment first thing on Wednesday, and he wasn’t there. No one knew where he was. He called me a few hours later and apologised: he said he had to take a day off unexpectedly and he had it in his head that we were meeting on Thursday and hadn’t looked at his diary so didn’t realise we were supposed to meet on Wednesday. I felt physically hurt; he might as well have punched me. Actually, I’d rather he had punched me.
As things turned out, we were able to meet on Thursday. So I went to see him and I told him how hurt I’m feeling, and I asked him if he was having a hard time at the moment (which I didn’t expect him to answer, but of course I worry about him). He apologised for being unreliable and said it’s been happening in other areas of his life and work, so it’s not just me.
For some time I’ve been thinking the forgetting was a countertransferential thing. But if it’s not just me, it’s clearly something in his life. And knowing it’s not a countertransferential thing emphasises how unimportant I am to him - which I knew anyway, since he keeps forgetting about me.
I tried so hard yesterday to feel connected again. I guess everything I tried was inappropriate, because he didn’t respond to half of it and dismissed the other half. I told him I wanted him to fix it, but he says he can’t.
Most of all I want him to comfort me. I don’t think he sees comforting his patients as part of his job. I just don’t know what to ask him for. I want something from him… I want to ask him for something he can give me. I can’t think of anything I want that he can actually give me. I want a hug. I want comfort. I want him to tell me he cares about me. I can’t take any more rejection; I can’t possibly ask him for a hug or whatever. What can I ask him for that he can actually give me?
If anyone’s got any hugs available I’d be really grateful…
Tamar
Posted by canadagirl on October 13, 2006, at 7:37:19
In reply to Wanting comfort, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time.
I've got one of those forgetful T's too and I'm just about ready to dump him. I know they have their personal lives, but there is really no excuse for not making or reviewing a few notes so they can keep up to date on us. I don't think it fosters a good connection, no matter how much we like them.
You're NOT unimportant...talking about your needs IS important, whether he can fill them or not - the important thing is to talk about them. It's all part of the process. Here's a cyber hug for you too.
Posted by Dinah on October 13, 2006, at 7:56:24
In reply to Wanting comfort, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
((((Tamar))))
I know it doesn't help much, but it sounds like something's going on in his own life. When my therapist was stressed out, he once crossed a telephone appointment with me off his calendar to go to the dentist, and didn't think of calling me to say so.
My therapist is worse at this when he's under stress, but he's always bad. I've eventually decided not to take it personally (after a lot of nonconfrontational discussions and a few confrontational ones). Now it's sort of an inside joke between us, and I work at usually finding it an endearing quality.
Posted by canadagirl on October 13, 2006, at 8:09:00
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2006, at 7:56:24
Ya I should clarify, my therapist is "really" bad, probably yours are not quite at that level - it's like intake at every session ! LOL
Posted by ClearSkies on October 13, 2006, at 9:30:30
In reply to Wanting comfort, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
(((Tamar))) if you aren't able to tell your T how troubling and damaging his preoccupation is, maybe you could write him a note?
When it happened to me (with one of the Ts I cycled through until I found a good'un), I got so angry that I'd tell her to read my file for a new minutes so she could refresh her memory. She said at one point that she should hire me to organize her practice. (!!!!) I pretty much gave up on her then - she wasn't able to give me the support I needed.
ClearSkies
Posted by mair on October 13, 2006, at 13:45:22
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by ClearSkies on October 13, 2006, at 9:30:30
My last T was pretty bad I thought but not as bad as what you're describing. However, my husband and I ran into him a couple of years after I stopped seeing him, and he introduced us to his wife. He got my husband's name right and screwed up mine. My husband wasn't the one sitting in his office twice a week and sometimes more for 2+ years. I was unbelievably hurt and offended.
Many hugs from me. Every now and then my T will say something which touches me like how she was reading a book or an article which made her think of me. Most of the time I convince myself that I mean nothing to her, although I know on some level that it isn't true. (not always a very conscious level). I wouldn't know how to ask her for comfort anyway. I've often wished that she was telepathic, and have told her this a few times. The reality is that we have to learn how to make ourselves heard and understood. We can't assume that they're picking up what we think are such obvious signs.
mair
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 13, 2006, at 16:24:32
In reply to Wanting comfort, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
I know you don't know me, Tamar, but I've read your previous posts.
I'm sorry your T is having a hard time right now. Wish he'd just admit it and work on making things right.
I can't fix that for you, but for sure I can give you BIG hugs whenever you need them.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TAMAR)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted by Daisym on October 13, 2006, at 19:17:25
In reply to Wanting comfort, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
((((Tamar))))
My life has been a huge mess for well over a year. So I work even harder at remembering where I'm supposed to be and who I'm suppose to call. But I've been avoidant and unreliable too. So I can sympathize.
However, my job is not as someone's therapist. By definition, a therapist must be steady, consistant, reliable and comforting. I don't mean like with hugs or hand holding necessarily. I mean by giving clients a sense that someone has their back and is looking out for them and their best interests. If a therapist is having a harder time doing that for some reason, clients should told and the therapist should own it. And together they should try to figure out how to talk about it and as Dinah suggested, how to make it part of the therapy -- or not.
I am typically the last person to bring this up, but geez Tamar, this guy has been hurting you for months now. At what point do you ask for someone else? People change - because he was a good fit at one point doesn't still make him a good fit. If it was anyone else - what would you say to them? Therapy is hard enough without having to beg your therapist for their attention.
I wish it wasn't so hard for you. ((((Tamar))))
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 13, 2006, at 19:59:34
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by Daisym on October 13, 2006, at 19:17:25
((((((Tamar))))))
My T was 10 minutes late this week. In 6 mos of therapy, I've only had that happen once. I got kind of anxious. okay. REALLY anxious.
you want to help me finish up my pint of light HaagenDazs cookie dough ice cream?
It's pretty comfy, especially since I got my furnace to work (this am was a chilly 53 degrees F in my place!) now it's downright toasty mmm)
-Li
Posted by alexandra_k on October 13, 2006, at 23:28:46
In reply to Wanting comfort, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
((((tamar))))
i'm glad you are back
i'm sorry you are having a hard time
can you show him your post?
maybe you guys can figure something appropriate togethersounds to me like he has got some repairing relationship stuff to do...
Posted by muffled on October 14, 2006, at 0:26:16
In reply to Wanting comfort, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2006, at 6:20:33
Good to hear from you. i been wondering whats up w/you.
I'm sorry bout your T.
It sure sounds like he got something going on in his own life/health. This forgetting thing is odd. Very odd.
I too think it would be an excellent idea to take this post of yours in.
I think it could open up some good dialogue.....or not.
I dunno bout your T?
I know you were not interested in finding another at one time........?
(((((((((((((((Tamar)))))))))))))))))))))
Sorry its hard.
I am doing great w/my T right now...wish you could be doing the same...
You could ask him flat out if he gives a sh*t. I know there was another thread bout that, and I done the same w/my T. I even said that she was just being 'unconditionally accepting' cuz its her job to be.
She tells me regular, that she cares, or that I a special person...but I dunno....
What could he give you???Within the boundaries????
I dunno, I dunno what words you would beleive....cuz I myself have such a hard time w/that...
I guess if you found a diff. T that had different boundaries, then mebbe you could get different things?
Eg, my T would hug me if I wanted.( I don't want !!!)
I think she's a touch kindof person, I think she wants to touch me, but respects that i don't like to be touched.
Everyonce in awhile she forgets nherself and pats my knee! Its actually kinda funny in a sad way.
Sorry this is so long. I'm trying not to think of my own inner battle right now.
Take care Tamar, you ARE a special person, beleive me ...or not.(I don't generally go around lying to people FYI)
Muffled
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 7:51:12
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by canadagirl on October 13, 2006, at 7:37:19
> I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time.
> I've got one of those forgetful T's too and I'm just about ready to dump him. I know they have their personal lives, but there is really no excuse for not making or reviewing a few notes so they can keep up to date on us. I don't think it fosters a good connection, no matter how much we like them.Yeah, it definitely gets in the way. And not knowing what’s going on with him means I have no sense of perspective on it, so inevitably I end up thinking it’s partly about me, even though he insists it’s not.
> You're NOT unimportant...talking about your needs IS important, whether he can fill them or not - the important thing is to talk about them. It's all part of the process. Here's a cyber hug for you too.
Thanks for the cyber hug. Yeah, I’d like to talk to him about my needs. He always seems to shut it down. I called him yesterday and told him I wanted reassurance: I wanted him to tell me he still wants to work with me. He said he thought I knew that he doesn’t think it’s helpful to give me that kind of reassurance. (I didn’t know that; he’s never told me before.) I said even if that’s the case, it doesn’t make me want it less.
Right now I just want to slap his head.
Posted by Dinah on October 14, 2006, at 7:55:25
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » canadagirl, posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 7:51:12
I do too.
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 7:58:57
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2006, at 7:56:24
> ((((Tamar))))
>
> I know it doesn't help much, but it sounds like something's going on in his own life. When my therapist was stressed out, he once crossed a telephone appointment with me off his calendar to go to the dentist, and didn't think of calling me to say so.Ouch! Yeah, that’s pretty neglectful. Does that sort of thing interfere with your sense of safety?
> My therapist is worse at this when he's under stress, but he's always bad. I've eventually decided not to take it personally (after a lot of nonconfrontational discussions and a few confrontational ones). Now it's sort of an inside joke between us, and I work at usually finding it an endearing quality.
I used to find it an endearing quality when he was regularly late, and when he forgot appointments before. I think what really knocked me over was his forgetting when I wanted to talk to him about some really important stuff. I lost the sense of the safety of therapy. And I’ve been trying to get it back for four months, but every time I think things are improving he does something else that seems to indicate he doesn’t care about me and has little respect for me.
You’re right; I shouldn’t take it personally. But I do take it professionally. I think it’s really unprofessional of him to forget to look in his diary. If I were so unreliable in my job (i.e. if I regularly forgot when I was supposed to be teaching) I’d be in trouble.
Sigh. I admire your ability to make it into an inside joke. I hope I can reach that stage.
Posted by annierose on October 14, 2006, at 8:15:16
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Dinah, posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 7:58:57
Tamar - I'm sorry that he seems elsewhere. I think you are asking a perfectly logical emotional question (got that?). Of course you want to be reassured that he wants to work with you. My T is not forgetfull but I still ask that question a million different ways, "Are you sorry that you are working with me?", "Do you regret deciding to work with me?" "Do you like working with me?" "Am I a challenging client?" etc. etc.
I always ask and she always answers that she likes working with me.
I think your T could answer that and not cross boundaries --- but everyone has different boundaries (my T would never touch me). I think it's time to ask yourself, do you feel like you are the one that always needs to forgive him in order to make this "relationship" work? Do you feel like you need to overlook certain aspects in order to get what you need?
If you want/need more from the relationship, you may be able to get more from another t. I know, I know how hard it is to tear ourselves from a therapist that we love.
You don't have to do a thing. You can just think about it. And when the time is right, if there is ever a time, you will know what to do.
((((((((((((tamar)))))))))))))
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:18:16
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by ClearSkies on October 13, 2006, at 9:30:30
> (((Tamar))) if you aren't able to tell your T how troubling and damaging his preoccupation is, maybe you could write him a note?
Y’know, I still haven’t done that. Well, I’ve written him dozens of notes… nearly every day… but I never give them to him because when I read them later they seem inarticulate and unfair and silly. Maybe it’s finally time to make him read, because I never manage to say the things I really want him to hear.
> When it happened to me (with one of the Ts I cycled through until I found a good'un), I got so angry that I'd tell her to read my file for a new minutes so she could refresh her memory. She said at one point that she should hire me to organize her practice. (!!!!) I pretty much gave up on her then - she wasn't able to give me the support I needed.
Gosh, how awful. I don’t understand why they bother taking notes (or keeping diaries) if they’re not going to look at them!
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:26:05
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort, posted by mair on October 13, 2006, at 13:45:22
> My last T was pretty bad I thought but not as bad as what you're describing. However, my husband and I ran into him a couple of years after I stopped seeing him, and he introduced us to his wife. He got my husband's name right and screwed up mine. My husband wasn't the one sitting in his office twice a week and sometimes more for 2+ years. I was unbelievably hurt and offended.
That’s terrible! No wonder you were hurt.
> Many hugs from me. Every now and then my T will say something which touches me like how she was reading a book or an article which made her think of me. Most of the time I convince myself that I mean nothing to her, although I know on some level that it isn't true. (not always a very conscious level). I wouldn't know how to ask her for comfort anyway. I've often wished that she was telepathic, and have told her this a few times. The reality is that we have to learn how to make ourselves heard and understood. We can't assume that they're picking up what we think are such obvious signs.
I wish my therapist would say he was thinking of me. Instead he seems to go to quite some effort to remind me that I know nothing about him. He went through a phase of saying every week, “Well, you know nothing about me; you don’t know where I go or what I do or what’s on my mind.” I didn’t know how he expected me to respond to that, but I felt incredibly rejected. And of course I know a few things about him from Google, but that obviously hadn’t occurred to him. Of course, if he’d asked me what I thought I knew about him, or whether I wanted to know things about him, I might have fessed up. I wish I’d had the guts to say, “Actually, I know more about you than you assume.” I guess the assumptions go both ways.
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:29:16
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by TherapyGirl on October 13, 2006, at 16:24:32
> I know you don't know me, Tamar, but I've read your previous posts.
I’m pretty sure I’ve read some of your previous posts too. It’s nice to be talking to you.
> I'm sorry your T is having a hard time right now. Wish he'd just admit it and work on making things right.
Yeah. I hope he’s doing some therapy himself.
> I can't fix that for you, but for sure I can give you BIG hugs whenever you need them.
>
> ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TAMAR)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))Thanks for the hugs. Hugs are great!
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:37:07
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Tamar, posted by Daisym on October 13, 2006, at 19:17:25
Hi Daisy,
> My life has been a huge mess for well over a year. So I work even harder at remembering where I'm supposed to be and who I'm suppose to call. But I've been avoidant and unreliable too. So I can sympathize.
Yeah, it’s tough when personal things intrude into work. And I suppose it happens to most of us at times. I think it would be easier for me to accept it if he would allow me to worry about him a little; if he could accept that it’s inevitable that I’d be concerned about him. But he seems to withdraw into wanting to keep his private life private, which is perfectly OK, but doesn’t focus on my neuroses. So if I worry about him I feel I’m being intrusive, and if I don’t worry about him I feel like a self-absorbed b*tch.
> However, my job is not as someone's therapist. By definition, a therapist must be steady, consistant, reliable and comforting. I don't mean like with hugs or hand holding necessarily. I mean by giving clients a sense that someone has their back and is looking out for them and their best interests. If a therapist is having a harder time doing that for some reason, clients should told and the therapist should own it. And together they should try to figure out how to talk about it and as Dinah suggested, how to make it part of the therapy -- or not.
I like the idea that we need to know someone has our back. That’s exactly right.
> I am typically the last person to bring this up, but geez Tamar, this guy has been hurting you for months now. At what point do you ask for someone else? People change - because he was a good fit at one point doesn't still make him a good fit. If it was anyone else - what would you say to them? Therapy is hard enough without having to beg your therapist for their attention.I really am seriously considering quitting. I guess the idea of seeing someone else is pretty terrifying. When things are going well he understands all my religious troubles in a way that most people don’t, and he’s been really good with my inner 18 year-old. When he’s good he’s very, very good. But when he’s bad…
> I wish it wasn't so hard for you. ((((Tamar))))
Thanks Daisy. I suppose things will get better eventually. So far I’ve been able to resist the temptation to hurt myself, so I guess things are already better than they used to be.
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:40:34
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » Daisym, posted by Lindenblüte on October 13, 2006, at 19:59:34
> ((((((Tamar))))))
>
> My T was 10 minutes late this week. In 6 mos of therapy, I've only had that happen once. I got kind of anxious. okay. REALLY anxious.Ah, my T is regularly 10 minutes late. I don’t get anxious until he’s 20 minutes late. The lateness never used to bother me until the forgetting started. (My father, brother and husband are always late for everything so I’m fairly used to it and don’t usually take it personally.)
> you want to help me finish up my pint of light HaagenDazs cookie dough ice cream?
Wow, that sounds fantastic. I love HaagenDasz cookie dough ice cream! Yum yum.
> It's pretty comfy, especially since I got my furnace to work (this am was a chilly 53 degrees F in my place!) now it's downright toasty mmm)
Sounds great. Comfy and toasty is just what I’m looking for right now!
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:47:40
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort, posted by alexandra_k on October 13, 2006, at 23:28:46
> ((((tamar))))
> i'm glad you are backIt’s really nice to hear from you too.
> i'm sorry you are having a hard time
> can you show him your post?I think you’re right. It’s time to show him something I’ve chosen the words for. In therapy I can hardly string a sentence together.
> maybe you guys can figure something appropriate together
I really hope so. I just don’t want to scare him into retreat.
> sounds to me like he has got some repairing relationship stuff to do...
Yeah. He keeps telling me that he will try to be the best therapist he can be. So far I’ve resisted the urge to make sarcastic replies, but I really do wonder why he isn’t already trying to be the best therapist he can be.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 14, 2006, at 8:49:53
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » canadagirl, posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 7:51:12
>He said he thought I knew that he doesn’t think it’s helpful to give me that kind of reassurance. (I didn’t know that; he’s never told me before.)
ah.
so there it is. it isn't that he doesn't care, it is that he thinks it will be bad for you if he tells you he does care. some therapists have this variety of therapy where they think it isn't part of their job description to comfort you it is part of their job description to help you build ego strength or whatever.
yeah, smack him over the head, i say...
or...
alternatively...
could you talk to him about WHY he thinks it is bad for you
and maybe you could tell him that a little bit of comfort might just mean that the hard stuff is easier whereas if he keeps going the way he is going he is just driving you away...
Posted by alexandra_k on October 14, 2006, at 8:52:21
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort » TherapyGirl, posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:29:16
do you want to chat tamar?
there is something i'd like to ask you at some point...
but i can ask you later anyways...there is babblechat now. by the 'register' link. you might have to register but you should be able to chat if you want.
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:58:34
In reply to (((((((((((((((((((((Tamar)))))))))))))))))))))))), posted by muffled on October 14, 2006, at 0:26:16
> Good to hear from you. i been wondering whats up w/you.
Good to hear from you too. I hate being absent from Babble for long periods. I miss my friends!
> I'm sorry bout your T.
> It sure sounds like he got something going on in his own life/health. This forgetting thing is odd. Very odd.I keep hoping it’s a happy thing, like a new baby, or maybe his partner got a promotion or something. But I suspect it’s something difficult.
> I too think it would be an excellent idea to take this post of yours in.
> I think it could open up some good dialogue.....or not.I hope so. I’m so afraid that if he knows how I’m really feeling he’ll run away very fast.
> I dunno bout your T?
> I know you were not interested in finding another at one time........?
> (((((((((((((((Tamar)))))))))))))))))))))
> Sorry its hard.Thanks, Muffled. You’re right; I just don’t know if I could work with someone else. So the decision I’m faced with is either to work things out with him or to quit therapy altogether.
> I am doing great w/my T right now...wish you could be doing the same...
I am so pleased you are doing great with your T. You totally deserve to have it go well for you; you’ve put a lot of effort into it.
> You could ask him flat out if he gives a sh*t. I know there was another thread bout that, and I done the same w/my T. I even said that she was just being 'unconditionally accepting' cuz its her job to be.
> She tells me regular, that she cares, or that I a special person...but I dunno....He won’t tell me that. He has made it very clear he doesn’t think it would be helpful. I may have to pee on his car…
> What could he give you???Within the boundaries????
> I dunno, I dunno what words you would beleive....cuz I myself have such a hard time w/that...I think I want something symbolic… A photo would be nice. But it’s probably outside his boundaries. I want something that I can use to help me find the safety when I’m not with him, and something that symbolises that he cares about me. But if he can’t tell me in words that he cares about me, I guess he can’t give me something symbolic to show he cares. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t even want me to have a photo of him.
> I guess if you found a diff. T that had different boundaries, then mebbe you could get different things?
> Eg, my T would hug me if I wanted.( I don't want !!!)That does sound very appealing. I wonder if I could ask a T straight out at the first meeting to talk about her boundaries. I’ve asked my T a couple of times about his boundaries and he claims they are flexible, but I haven’t seen anything to indicate that they’re flexible.
> I think she's a touch kindof person, I think she wants to touch me, but respects that i don't like to be touched.
> Everyonce in awhile she forgets nherself and pats my knee! Its actually kinda funny in a sad way.Gosh! It must be kind of scary and also a nice demonstration that she cares , both at the same time.
> Sorry this is so long. I'm trying not to think of my own inner battle right now.
> Take care Tamar, you ARE a special person, beleive me ...or not.(I don't generally go around lying to people FYI)Thanks for your kind words. It’s good to feel cared about.
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 9:04:29
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort, posted by annierose on October 14, 2006, at 8:15:16
> Tamar - I'm sorry that he seems elsewhere. I think you are asking a perfectly logical emotional question (got that?). Of course you want to be reassured that he wants to work with you. My T is not forgetfull but I still ask that question a million different ways, "Are you sorry that you are working with me?", "Do you regret deciding to work with me?" "Do you like working with me?" "Am I a challenging client?" etc. etc.
>
> I always ask and she always answers that she likes working with me.Oh, I wish he would say those words to me.
> I think your T could answer that and not cross boundaries --- but everyone has different boundaries (my T would never touch me). I think it's time to ask yourself, do you feel like you are the one that always needs to forgive him in order to make this "relationship" work? Do you feel like you need to overlook certain aspects in order to get what you need?
I do feel as if I need to forgive him quite often these days. I don’t know if he needs to forgive me, of course, because he wouldn’t tell me. But I do feel as if he’s the one making all the mistakes and I’m constantly trying to repair things.
> If you want/need more from the relationship, you may be able to get more from another t. I know, I know how hard it is to tear ourselves from a therapist that we love.
Yeah. It’s hard, but if he really can’t help me, then there’s no point continuing. Love just isn’t enough.
> You don't have to do a thing. You can just think about it. And when the time is right, if there is ever a time, you will know what to do.
>
> ((((((((((((tamar)))))))))))))Thanks Annierose. I will think about it. I’m sure that thinking about it will help me to realise that I’m not trapped in this relationship.
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