![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Berberis on February 23, 2006, at 8:59:17
I should stop reading this board. So many of you seem to have absolutely wonderful T's and have great relationships with them. I'm jealous. I've had 4 different T's and never felt transference, never trusted enough, never benefited much. I can only assume it's my fault.
Posted by Dinah on February 23, 2006, at 9:03:47
In reply to Jealousy, posted by Berberis on February 23, 2006, at 8:59:17
Yeah, it's great.
Till something goes wrong.
Posted by fairywings on February 23, 2006, at 11:35:49
In reply to Jealousy, posted by Berberis on February 23, 2006, at 8:59:17
Over 20 years I've had 3 pdocs 1 VERY bad, one nice but didn't do a thing for me, and one good -the one I have now.
I've had 7 therapists over those years - one was the bad pdoc, 3 very good T's, but 2 of those I didn't attach to at all, 3 were good but I quit w/in 8 weeks bec. it wasn't a good fit.
I like my current T, and he's probably as trustworthy and kind as they come, but I'm feeling like I'll never really open up to him. And I'm afraid to become attached.
It's a challenge, don't give up. There might be someone out there you'll trust, attach to, and get a lot of work done with.
fw
Posted by Berberis on February 23, 2006, at 13:53:37
In reply to Jealousy, posted by Berberis on February 23, 2006, at 8:59:17
Okay, I feel better after reading your responses.
Hopefully I'll find a good T someday. I'm grateful that I like my pdoc, though.
Posted by Tamar on February 23, 2006, at 18:44:13
In reply to Jealousy, posted by Berberis on February 23, 2006, at 8:59:17
> I can only assume it's my fault.
Fault? That sounds a little harsh. Are you being too hard on yourself?
Transference is very painful, but it’s really only possible in certain circumstances. It doesn’t happen with everyone. And it can only happen (I think) if you’re willing to make yourself quite vulnerable. I’m pretty afraid of intimacy and I find it very hard to accept the transference. But trust really is the key. And you have to find someone you can feel a connection with. If it hasn’t happened for you yet, maybe you haven’t found the right therapist yet. The connection is all about the relationship, so the therapist has to be right for you…
Keep trying until you find someone you want to spend time with. And then you will feel the transference. It hurts, but ultimately it’s worth it.
Good luck,
Tamar
Posted by Berberis on February 24, 2006, at 7:53:50
In reply to Re: Jealousy » Berberis, posted by Tamar on February 23, 2006, at 18:44:13
Thanks, Tamar, for your feedback. You're right on about the vulnerability thing. It's really hard for me to let the walls down.
Maybe someday I'll find the right T. I'm just so tired of the search.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.