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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pegasus on September 27, 2005, at 12:23:54
So, a few weeks ago my T and I decided that I would stop coming to therapy. I've been doing so much better with my mood disorders lately that I don't *really* need it now. And with my little baby and all, it just wasn't the right time to focus on the deeper stuff that is always there to work on. So, we had a lovely termination session, where she said she'd miss me and I was welcome to come back any time, etc. It felt shaky but good.
So, not two weeks later, all hell breaks loose in my personal life (see post on social re: friends in hospital). And I want to handle it, and not need my T. And, I *can* handle it . . . I've *been* handling it. But . . . I guess I just feel shaky about being on my own here. I miss having her to tell my big stuff to. I'm not falling apart . . . but there's a big hole.
And on the other hand, I really really want to prove to myself that I have in fact graduated from therapy. Which would mean that I don't call her.
Normally I would lean on my best friends for support. But they're all in the hospital! They're leaning on me.
Not sure what my point is. Ack, real life without therapy is hard!
Peg
Posted by fairywings on September 27, 2005, at 13:33:23
In reply to graduated from therapy and gritting my teeth, posted by pegasus on September 27, 2005, at 12:23:54
Call, you don't have to prove anything to anyone! We all need help here and there, and this is just one of those difficult times. Make the call, you'll feel a lot better after you see her.
fw
Posted by Tamar on September 27, 2005, at 16:31:46
In reply to graduated from therapy and gritting my teeth, posted by pegasus on September 27, 2005, at 12:23:54
I agree with fairywings. You don't have anything to prove, and it sounds like you really do need support right now. If you want to call your therapist, just pick up the phone and call.
Tamar
Posted by daisym on September 28, 2005, at 0:06:49
In reply to graduated from therapy and gritting my teeth, posted by pegasus on September 27, 2005, at 12:23:54
Hi Peg,
I'm so glad you came back here for a little support. I think it is OK to want to do it yourself and lean on your real life supports. You worked hard to learn these skills in therapy. I hope both of your friends recover quickly and the three of you have each other again soon.
Don't forget to take care of yourself during this time. Let some things go, like housework and cooking and take time out to just be with your baby and smile at each other.
If you find yourself starting to fray around the edges, give your therapist a call. One of the things I hope we all learn from therapy is to get help before we fall apart completely.
Take good care.
Daisy
Posted by Shortelise on September 28, 2005, at 0:47:34
In reply to graduated from therapy and gritting my teeth, posted by pegasus on September 27, 2005, at 12:23:54
Yikes.
I know this feeling well. I am down to once every three weeks, but I feel that hole acutely.
Part of being well is knowing when we need a hand and asking for it. It may not be your therapist you need to ask, but maybe an old friend you can call to talk it through, or your aunt Betty, your brother's wife or someone you like who mgiht be willing.
Or would a short phone call to your T help? Just to tell her what's up, how you're doing and that you miss her support? I hope it's pretty normal in the time after therapy ends to touch base once in a while.
Be good to yourself. Eat well, get enough sleep if you can, drink lots of water, and try to take time for yourself.
((pegasus))
Posted by pegasus on September 28, 2005, at 11:58:54
In reply to graduated from therapy and gritting my teeth, posted by pegasus on September 27, 2005, at 12:23:54
Thanks all of you for your responses. I've thought it over and decided not to call if I can hold out. I know I *can* call, but I think it will be valuable for me to handle it without therapy. I'm still feeling a bit shaky about ending, and maybe if I can get through this with other supports, I'll feel a bit more solid.
So, Daisy, thanks much for reminding me that life outside of therapy has support resources too. I think I do have other friends I could call. And maybe I can talk to my husband about it all. I need to start considering those first. Maybe I just panicked a little big.
And everyone else, I appreciate your reminding me that if it gets too bad, there's no point in staying away from my T. She was really clear about still being available to me.
big sigh. It's all going to be ok.
peg
Posted by Shortelise on September 28, 2005, at 18:03:05
In reply to Re: graduated from therapy and gritting my teeth » pegasus, posted by daisym on September 28, 2005, at 0:06:49
Daisy, I didn't read what you had written until just now, long after I replied to Pegasus. It's very funny I we both said almost exactly the same thing!
ShortE
Posted by daisym on September 28, 2005, at 23:21:07
In reply to Re: graduated from therapy and gritting my teeth » daisym, posted by Shortelise on September 28, 2005, at 18:03:05
...think alike? Or is it that we are both trying to stand up, stand strong and not lean on our therapists so much?
I wonder how many of us here are the major leaning post for our friends? I know I am...
Posted by Shortelise on September 29, 2005, at 0:47:33
In reply to Great Minds » Shortelise, posted by daisym on September 28, 2005, at 23:21:07
me too. I am a great strong tree. Or so it seems. In reality I would love to curl up and suck my thumb.
How many others out there are like this?J
Posted by Pfinstegg on September 29, 2005, at 8:01:08
In reply to Re: Great Minds » daisym, posted by Shortelise on September 29, 2005, at 0:47:33
I'm just the same. I try to keep the very young, needy parts hidden, and so act as if I don't need anyone. I'm trying to express a more moderate desire for comfort and support to my friends, now, and am finding that some new friends are needed, at times, as the old ones expect to receive but not give. Just one, mutual reciprocal friend goes such a long way!
Posted by pegasus on September 29, 2005, at 11:22:11
In reply to Re: Great Minds » daisym, posted by Shortelise on September 29, 2005, at 0:47:33
Sorry SE, for thanking daisy for that and not you. You're right, you both said really similar things.
I think I'm a big source of support for my friends, and that I don't ask for it for myself enough. Which makes for a really unbalanced relationship. It sometimes gets to the point where they don't call me unless they have a problem (but no worries - there are always plenty of problems to keep us close!). I started avoiding one friend a few years ago who was just draining me with all of her problems, and blowing me off when she was doing ok. We're close again now, but I keep it in mind when I schedule things with her.
I don't know how to make it more balanced. I think I don't believe anyone would want to be my friend if I leaned on them. I buy their friendship with my support.
peg
This is the end of the thread.
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