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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 39. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
So… I was idly Googling my ex-therapist’s name, as I do from time to time. I just like seeing his name a few dozen times. There aren’t that many hits, and only three of them are ever about him.
Well, today there was a new link that hadn’t been there before and I clicked on it assuming it would be someone else, but… it wasn’t someone else. It was him. Oh, and his home address and home phone number. Yikes!
I wasn’t actually looking for personal information! I didn’t expect to find anything online except stuff about his professional affiliations. Now I know too much!
He lives less than ten miles away from me. So how do I restrain myself from driving past his house? Any suggestions?
Argh!
Tamar
Posted by Annierose on September 24, 2005, at 18:34:57
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
I guess I wouldn't restrain myself. Unless you stalk him, one pass by to see his house is plain curiosity, and I think, well, that it's okay. Now if you were still seeing current T, I guess I would mention it for the sake of therapy. Plus let him know that info is there. But you're not a current client, so why not check it out? It will drive you crazy otherwise.
That's just what I would probably do. And if you do, tell us about it, okay?
Posted by LadyBug on September 24, 2005, at 21:18:44
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
My T. has told me it is pretty normal for a patient to want to drive by their house. She said she used to drive by her T's office to see if his truck was there. I've drivne by my t's house. I never told her that though. Don't want her to think I'm obsessed. I'm glad I drove past it, it wasn't anything like I had imagined. It's in a very expensive area, but the home isn't as HUGE as I imagined.
I say go for it, you'll hurt nothing.
Posted by 10derHeart on September 24, 2005, at 21:28:25
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
I agree with Annierose.
I have already been through this twice.
I found giving in was better. The stress of anything else was too much for me. It became an obsession until I did it. I wasn't able to stop with only once, either.
But then, that's me, and I'm extremely weak in this area. Probably, I should just be quiet about it. I have no sensible advice for you at all. Pure emotion.
Posted by ButterflyHigh on September 24, 2005, at 21:31:16
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
Curious minds always wanna know eh?! lol
It's funny, cuz I've never wanted to know where my therapists or pdocs live - they always tell me anyway - why I don't know - weird!!!
I have googled my t's names before but to really no interest, wish I had the access to background checks though ;)
There's a line to draw here. I just get attached to some of the therapists I have had, I just really like them, especially women, b/c I have mom issues - don't most of us. lol I know a good egg when I meet one. Therapists are so hard to come by, especially here, so a person is very, very blessed if they have found someone who is willing to work with you as a team and has your best interests in mind. I almost lost my current therapist, was meant to be I guess.
:)
Posted by luvdove on September 25, 2005, at 0:24:53
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
Tamar your post made me laugh because I have been through this! I normally see my T at a therapy centre and about 6 months ago we had to change the day of one of our sessions and she said if I saw her on a monday I'd have to see her at her house cause she works from home on a monday! It was *very* weird but now I'm used to going there... anyway once I had her address I couldn't help but do a drive-by just for a look (even though its 20 mins from my house) and now if I'm in that neighbourhood I'll drive past, but thats not very often. I told her once that I did that, it was very embarrassing but it just fell out of my mouth. I said I'd wanted to feel close to her or something and she *thanked* me for telling her!! I asked her if she though it a 'stalker' thing to do and she said of course not, I think it's natural to be curoius and/or want to feel close to our T's when we can't see them... Good luck and post what happenens!
Luv
Posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 10:56:34
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
Only an address and phone #? I just knew you were going to say that a pic popped up on your screen and he was naked!!! I'm sooo disappointed! LOL!!!
Do the drive-by. Just don't get out and write dirty words in the yard with Roundup... ;~}
Actually, I would think on some level they should expect us to be curious. That comes up in everyday conversations between people regularly. I'm very shocked that so many people seem to know my house when I explain where it is and I'm nobody!
Drive thru the DQ, get a chocolate shake and savor the drive!
crazy t
Posted by fairywings on September 25, 2005, at 16:32:25
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
I guess if you're really curious, and it's not and obsessive desire, what's the harm in just one quick drive by?
It's funny, at this point anyway, I have no desire to see where my T lives or anything like that.
fw
Posted by fairywings on September 25, 2005, at 16:54:34
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by luvdove on September 25, 2005, at 0:24:53
I didn't think about this until you mentioned it, but my kid's T, who also did some family therapy, and some brief therapy for me, did therapy out of her home. I don't get attached to female T's I don't know why, just don't. I met her hubby (who was also a T) and dogs too, and we hugged at the door. Their home was really nice. I wonder if she has clients who drive by after hours.
fw
Posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 16:57:29
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by Annierose on September 24, 2005, at 18:34:57
> I guess I wouldn't restrain myself. Unless you stalk him, one pass by to see his house is plain curiosity, and I think, well, that it's okay. Now if you were still seeing current T, I guess I would mention it for the sake of therapy. Plus let him know that info is there. But you're not a current client, so why not check it out? It will drive you crazy otherwise.
>
> That's just what I would probably do. And if you do, tell us about it, okay?Thanks Annierose!
I’m not planning to stalk him… and you’re right; it will drive me crazy if I don’t do it. I sort of feel it’s wrong, but on the other hand, I’m not planning to do anything actually evil. I just want to drive my car past the place where he lives!
Yeah, I’ll let you know if I do it!
Tamar
Posted by fairywings on September 25, 2005, at 16:59:47
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 10:56:34
That was so funny crazyT,
Mix it up a little......go to DQ, get a shake, drive by your T's, get out, and savor your nakedness! LOLPeople know our house too because two new houses were built on the end of an existing neighborhood, ppl say, "Oh, YOU live THERE?! I know where that is."
fw
Posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 16:59:56
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by LadyBug on September 24, 2005, at 21:18:44
Hi LadyBug,
> My T. has told me it is pretty normal for a patient to want to drive by their house. She said she used to drive by her T's office to see if his truck was there. I've drivne by my t's house. I never told her that though. Don't want her to think I'm obsessed. I'm glad I drove past it, it wasn't anything like I had imagined. It's in a very expensive area, but the home isn't as HUGE as I imagined.
> I say go for it, you'll hurt nothing.Thanks for that. Yeah, I’m sure it’s totally normal. And if I’d found out where he lived while I was still in therapy I probably would have felt more obsessed about it.
You’re right; I’ll hurt nothing. I think I probably will do it…
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 17:08:28
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by 10derHeart on September 24, 2005, at 21:28:25
> I agree with Annierose.
>
> I have already been through this twice.
>
> I found giving in was better. The stress of anything else was too much for me. It became an obsession until I did it. I wasn't able to stop with only once, either.
>
> But then, that's me, and I'm extremely weak in this area. Probably, I should just be quiet about it. I have no sensible advice for you at all. Pure emotion.Thanks, 10der. I think pure emotion is the key. That *is* sensible advice! I think giving in is inevitable… No point being stressed out when all I have to do is go for a little drive…
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 17:23:40
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by ButterflyHigh on September 24, 2005, at 21:31:16
> Curious minds always wanna know eh?! lol
>
> It's funny, cuz I've never wanted to know where my therapists or pdocs live - they always tell me anyway - why I don't know - weird!!!Funny, I can’t imagine my ex-T telling me where he lived…
> I have googled my t's names before but to really no interest, wish I had the access to background checks though ;)
I just like to see his name. I never thought about background checks. I don’t think I’d bother because I don’t think I’d learn anything I wanted to know from a background check. What I really want to know is what he’s reading at the moment, what kind of music he likes, what kind of social/political views he has… I’m a sad b*tch.
> There's a line to draw here. I just get attached to some of the therapists I have had, I just really like them, especially women, b/c I have mom issues - don't most of us. lol I know a good egg when I meet one. Therapists are so hard to come by, especially here, so a person is very, very blessed if they have found someone who is willing to work with you as a team and has your best interests in mind. I almost lost my current therapist, was meant to be I guess.
> :)I’ve never had a woman therapist; just the one man. Yeah, it’s great to find someone you can work well with. How did you almost lose your current T?
Posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 17:27:28
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by luvdove on September 25, 2005, at 0:24:53
Thanks, Luvdove,
The idea of driving past his house is scary enough; I can’t imagine actually setting foot in the place!
It was nice that your therapist thanked you for telling her! She sounds great. Yeah, you’re right, I do still feel I want to feel close to him. It’s been six months since we finished therapy and I still miss him a lot at times…
I’ll post if I actually do the drive!
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 17:36:31
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 10:56:34
> Only an address and phone #? I just knew you were going to say that a pic popped up on your screen and he was naked!!! I'm sooo disappointed! LOL!!!
Naked! A pic of my therapist naked! Ooooh, I’m getting all goosebumpy…
Now *I’m* disappointed… After all, if he was going to allow his home address and phone number to appear on the internet, he might as well have added a naked pic!
Your post made me laugh so hard!
> Do the drive-by. Just don't get out and write dirty words in the yard with Roundup... ;~}
I’ll try to restrain myself!
> Actually, I would think on some level they should expect us to be curious. That comes up in everyday conversations between people regularly. I'm very shocked that so many people seem to know my house when I explain where it is and I'm nobody!
I guess so. I suppose I’ve been trying to think about how I’d feel in his situation. I’m a teacher and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable if my students found out where I live. But maybe it’s a bit different…
> Drive thru the DQ, get a chocolate shake and savor the drive!
Good plan! I really like the part about the chocolate shake!
Tamar
Posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 19:32:01
In reply to Re: too much information! » crazy teresa, posted by fairywings on September 25, 2005, at 16:59:47
Savor my nakedness??? That could take WEEKS!!!!
While we're at it, let's just all meet in this T's yard, shake our nakedness and hump his trees!
That is quite a visual, is it not? ROFL!!!
Posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 19:37:14
In reply to Re: too much information! » crazy teresa, posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 17:36:31
But you'd be ok with your students knowing where you lived once they were all grown up, wouldn't you?
Posted by ButterflyHigh on September 25, 2005, at 21:24:43
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by luvdove on September 25, 2005, at 0:24:53
>>I asked her if she though it a 'stalker' thing to do and she said of course not, I think it's natural to be curoius and/or want to feel close to our T's when we can't see them...
Thanks so much for posting that - you just saved me embarrassment from asking my therapist!! hehe :) Seriously! Sometimes I wonder if these people go into the MFT/PsyD., whatnot field to get that feeling from their clients to make them feel good, and I say that in all due respect, just my thoughts pondering....
Posted by ButterflyHigh on September 25, 2005, at 21:25:48
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 10:56:34
>
> Drive thru the DQ, get a chocolate shake and savor the drive!
>
> crazy tLMBO!!!
This thread is awesome!
Posted by ButterflyHigh on September 25, 2005, at 21:34:14
In reply to Re: too much information! » ButterflyHigh, posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 17:23:40
> > What I really want to know is what he’s reading at the moment, what kind of music he likes, what kind of social/political views he has… I’m a sad b*tch.
Welp nice to meet you lol cuz you took the words right out of my mouth concerning the above re: what our t's are doing, today my t called me and music was playing in the background like she was obviously driving, and I was wondering what she was doing on this Sunday afternoon. lol The thing is, she discloses some about herself, gave me a website she is on,which explains her background a little, so there is no mystery really.
I almost lost my current t b/c of anger :( Long story, I did apologize and called her in utter despair a few weeks ago asking if I could come back in and she allowed me to, and last session said, "I was pleased to hear from you" something no other therapist would have ever said to me, as well as making me feel good, that's important. Why is it sometimes, "it's all about the client in therapy", sometimes makes me feel even more frustrated - ya know I would hope one would want to know a bit about the person who is helping them take control of their life lol. Call me picky, but I don't think so lol!
:)Smoke break! lol So much on this board.
Posted by Shortelise on September 25, 2005, at 23:07:53
In reply to too much information!, posted by Tamar on September 24, 2005, at 18:15:10
I hope you can tell him you gooled him and got his home address and phone number. He surely doesn't know it's there.
ShortE
Posted by ButterflyHigh on September 26, 2005, at 0:32:06
In reply to Re: too much information! » Tamar, posted by Shortelise on September 25, 2005, at 23:07:53
Posted by fairywings on September 26, 2005, at 2:42:13
In reply to You crack me up! Savor my nakedness??? » fairywings, posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 19:32:01
OMG, they'd freaking lock us up! The poor T'd be scared for life, agoraphobic, and no longer able to practice! LOL
On 2nd thought, better not do that drive by! ; )
fw
Posted by fairywings on September 26, 2005, at 2:53:36
In reply to Re: too much information! » ButterflyHigh, posted by Tamar on September 25, 2005, at 17:23:40
Hi Tamar,
I think it's perfectly normal to want to "get to know" your T as a person, "what makes them tick", and that doesn't make you a sad bi*ch. Knowing what books they read, or what their political views are, or what kind of music he likes is great to help you understand their POV. What's the harm in asking?
My T told me last week it didn't have to all be about making progress, and that we could talk about anything, he's also told me I could ask about him. He has a lot of artwork in his office that's intriuged me, maybe I'll ask. I was going to share my artwork with him, but I won't share my music, he probably wouldn't like it - current rap, R&B, Teen Pop...my kids stuff, I love it.
fw
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