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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on August 29, 2005, at 22:30:48
I don't know where to begin. Seriously. Therapy has been very intense. We've been talking about sex the past few sessions, and I've never talked to any therapist this explicitly about sex. The amazing part is how totally safe I feel talking about it. I don't feel judged at all, and I can even tell her how it makes me feel to talk about certain things (i.e., aroused: soooo embarassing!!!).Anyway, therapy is going really well. Other stuff is ok, too. I've been pretty busy and not on babble as much, but I just wanted to check in a little.
Posted by Poet on August 29, 2005, at 23:18:06
In reply to I have so much to tell you guys that ....., posted by crushedout on August 29, 2005, at 22:30:48
Hi Crushedout,
You sound like you are really making progress in therapy. I stammer and blush and look at my feet when my T brings up sex. Or I deny everything I told her before.
I'm glad it's going well in therapy and in the rest of your life. Thanks for checking in and letting us know what's going on. Your progress is an inspiration.
Poet
Posted by LadyBug on August 30, 2005, at 0:18:20
In reply to I have so much to tell you guys that ....., posted by crushedout on August 29, 2005, at 22:30:48
This is great progress!!!
I rarely talk about sex with my T. It isn't a comfortable topic for her and I. She's too, I don't know.....to proper?? I'm just casual about sex. And I worry what she thinks of me. Oh well, I have plenty of other stuff to talk about. It must feel good to have this connection with your T.
Good for you!!!!
LadyBug
Posted by fairywings on August 30, 2005, at 7:30:18
In reply to I have so much to tell you guys that ....., posted by crushedout on August 29, 2005, at 22:30:48
Glad it's going so well, and that it's been so comfortable for both of you to talk about sex. Gosh a few session completely devoted to discussing sex?! That would work for me, one of my favorite topics, but I don't think I could fill more than one session! ; ) It's great that you feel safe and not judged, that's a good T. Hope it continues to be productive.
fw
Posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 8:00:01
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » crushedout, posted by Poet on August 29, 2005, at 23:18:06
Thanks, Poet! I'm usually the same way when sex comes up, but I've learned to talk about it vaguely in a way where I don't seem so shy.I'm realizing, though, that I need to get more specific and that seems insane. I don't even know what words to use. My T says that I can say *anything* I want, but of course, that doesn't mean I'm not still embarrassed as all heck.
I have enough issues in this area that I know I really need to go here, even though it's really embarrassing.
Posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 16:56:48
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » crushedout, posted by LadyBug on August 30, 2005, at 0:18:20
I worry what my T thinks of me also, which is why it's hard. But we spend time first talking about my worries of course. And my T seems pretty comfortable with the topic, although I project a lot of discomfort onto her.It's weird, because I am very open about sex with friends/peers, but somehow I see my T as a sort of parental figure and there's a barrier there where I don't feel like she can handle the stuff I have to say, which can be rather shocking. Or so I think. It's probably pretty tame, actually.
Posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 17:00:03
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » crushedout, posted by fairywings on August 30, 2005, at 7:30:18
yeah, it's been like 2 hours of nothing but sex sex sex. and we only got to age 14.we were going to talk about present-day stuff but i was having trouble and she thought it was important for her to get the background so we went back to do a sexual history. which turns out well for me because it's easier for me to talk about stuff that i did a long time ago, and by the time we get to current stuff, maybe i'll be warmed up. if you know what i mean.
the really weird part is how aroused it makes me. i wonder if i'm abnormal that way. i was really turned on the entire time.
i didn't admit this to her, but i'm planning to tell her on thursday. it's very embarrassing. i might not be able to say it.
(i did tell her that i was worried that i would get aroused, but i didn't tell her that i actually was.)
Posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 17:18:28
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » fairywings, posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 17:00:03
when i told her i was afraid i might get aroused, she said, "and what would be the problem if you did?" (i said "nothing, rationally. but it might make me associate sexual feelings with my relationship with [her] which could make me get all f'ed up like i was with the last T." she understood that concern.)but it probably is normal to get aroused sometimes in therapy. especially when talking about sex.
she won't ever tell me if i'm normal or not because she thinks that's irrelevant. i see her point, but i still want to know sometimes if i'm normal or weird.
Posted by fairywings on August 30, 2005, at 20:44:58
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » fairywings, posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 17:00:03
I'm sure if she's been so open and accepting, there's probably not much that would shock her, and she's probably heard it all before. Has she been doing therapy for a long time? Maybe she has a special interest in human sexuality?
I don't know, so I'm asking out of curiosity, is it normal to take a sexual history? If so, at what point in therapy does that occur? I hope it's not any time too soon for me. Maybe in some therapies it just occurs as therapy goes on?
I guess arousal is a part of talking about sex, and I'd guess we're all different in our levels of arousal. I'm sure she wouldn't be surprised.
I hope it's not too hard to discuss.
fw
Posted by fairywings on August 30, 2005, at 20:59:32
In reply to p.s., posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 17:18:28
She sounds like a wonderful and accepting T!
fw
Posted by 10derHeart on August 30, 2005, at 23:59:38
In reply to I have so much to tell you guys that ....., posted by crushedout on August 29, 2005, at 22:30:48
Your T. sounds awesome. I'm happy for you. I think you're really doing important work in there that you just couldn't do with your painful, messed up situation last time around. It must feel so good to have some safe boundries and a T. focusing on your stuff only! (hope that didn't come out too harsh toward ex-T..)
On the normal or weird thing...maybe if getting some type of answer still keeps bugging you from time to time, you could try what my T. and I do.
I'll talk in terms of a scale of 1-10, or a continuum, and then he's more willing to say (but only after I say *first* where I think my thoughts/feelings/behavior falls..) "yeah, you might be on the high (or low) end of that compared to most people..." Or something like that.
That seems to work when I keep pressing him to know if he's heard something a lot (or never, or a little) before, or "do regular people do this?" Those are tough questions from the T's POV, I guess. The power it could have if they answered one way or another, and what all that would mean to us.
You sound pretty great....keep going, girl!
Posted by Fallsfall on August 31, 2005, at 13:37:27
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » fairywings, posted by crushedout on August 30, 2005, at 17:00:03
Wow. I'm really impressed. That takes lots of courage.
I'm glad that you can talk to her.
Posted by crushedout on August 31, 2005, at 13:52:33
In reply to Re: p.s. » crushedout, posted by fairywings on August 30, 2005, at 20:59:32
> She sounds like a wonderful and accepting T!
> fwshe really is! :)
Posted by crushedout on August 31, 2005, at 14:14:02
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » crushedout, posted by fairywings on August 30, 2005, at 20:44:58
> I'm sure if she's been so open and accepting, there's probably not much that would shock her, and she's probably heard it all before.
Yeah, I think you're probably right.
>Has she been doing therapy for a long time?
About 20 years, a little less.
>Maybe she has a special interest in human sexuality?
I don't know. Not more than most therapists/people, I imagine. But don't most of us have a special interest in this subject? God knows I do.
> I don't know, so I'm asking out of curiosity, is it normal to take a sexual history? If so, at what point in therapy does that occur?I think it's normal, but I don't think it's universal. Therapists all do therapy so differently, and probably each one varies their methods depending on their client. There are rarely any requirements and if this is something you're uncomfortable doing you should just be able to tell your T that. I think histories are often taken in the beginning but my relationship with this T has not been normal, since in the beginning it was all about leaving my last T and then we slowly started addressing other issues.
btw, what did your name used to be? i forgot.
Posted by crushedout on August 31, 2005, at 14:15:54
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » crushedout, posted by Fallsfall on August 31, 2005, at 13:37:27
Thanks, falls. What part do you think is courageous? just talking about sex?Is it hard for you with your T?
Posted by fairywings on August 31, 2005, at 15:52:43
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » fairywings, posted by crushedout on August 31, 2005, at 14:14:02
>
> I don't know. Not more than most therapists/people, I imagine. But don't most of us have a special interest in this subject? God knows I do.Me too, I like to talk about sex. Although, I have never been asked particularly intimate and explicit details, so we shall see.
>
> btw, what did your name used to be? i forgot.Jazzed/jazzy/fw
Posted by Fallsfall on August 31, 2005, at 20:50:05
In reply to Re: I have so much to tell you guys that ..... » Fallsfall, posted by crushedout on August 31, 2005, at 14:15:54
Yeah, talking about sex.
We don't talk about sex. There is nothing to talk about.
The first time I went into the hospital I needed to talk about a sex dream - it took me at least a day to even say the word sex".
It is courageous to talk about issues that you know are big for you (whatever they might be).
I'm glad you fit well with this therapist.
This is the end of the thread.
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