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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
I had a good session. Came back from it with a good feeling, and nice feelings for her.
She was pretty amazing.
I got the gift for her wrapped up, and she initially said, "Let's talk about it, I am not supposed to accept gifts". And I told her it is not an expensive gift, and showed her my painting for her ( I painted a plate for her with a small tree branch and a simple thank you and I gave her a card, and told her how she had helped me). And she was happy, and she said she could accept that and that it was very meaningful. She said "I will gratefully accept it and it is really very meaningful". I was also happy.
And we talked about attachment, and what it means to her. SHe said she is attached to me - but that is not the same thing as creating dependancy on my part on her. She said it would be criminally negligent of her, if she had created a dependancy on her - if she had made me believe that I couldn't go on with her. She said part of being attached is caring, and fundamental respect for the other person, and that respect includes a trust in that other persons ability to handle his/her own life well with or without you.
She said we are in a business, and this business contract includes a certain amount of caring. She said, when a patient enters into a therapy relationship, there is a contract on the therapist part, that the therapist will help the patient, live a better life on his/her own, and by the very nature of the contract, therapists have to terminate one day, because, if they don't leave ever, then the patients never really live a good life on their own.
She said that is the key issue I always have - confusing attachment with dependancy, and giving over power. She said attachment is good, but dependancy and "I won't be able to survive without you" is bad.
I told her she helped me so much. I told her finally it made sense for me why I was always suffering so much, how it never occurred to me to link my fahter's issues with the problems that I had. And she said, just the fact that my father meant well, doesn't mean what he did was right. It really didn't matter if he was intending well or not (she thinks he neglected my interests and acted selfishly). She said that is the part I get confused about - if he acted well intentioned or not. She said I always end up making light of the fact that it happened because my father was a good person and meant well, and that is what is holding me back. She said what he did was hugely inappropriate, and that I am suffering becuase of it. And that I needed to work on my anger, and guilt and acceptance issues.
I told her thankfully she was not a male so I didn't have huge transference towards her yet again. She said, she really wished I had all these feelings towards her, and that would have helped her help me more. Because I had all the time and she would have helped me work through those feelings, if it was about her.
She said I can call her if I really need to. And she said I can return back to therapy with her later if I needed.
So it was a good terminating session. And I left with good feelings about her.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2005, at 13:19:59
In reply to Good termination session., posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
Yeah!!!! I'm so glad to hear it went well and you left with good feelings.
That's how it's supposed to go!
Yeah!!!!
gg
Posted by Sonya on August 4, 2005, at 13:27:51
In reply to Good termination session., posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
Oh, Pinkeye. I'm so happy you had a good termination session. I've been thinking of you all day since I had my last session last week with my T. It's very hard. Please know that you are in my thoughts, and I wish all the best for you.
I stayed home from work today with bad anxiety and I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm drunk now. I started drinking at noon....not good. My husband came home at noon also hoping to enjoy my company but I'm not very good company today. I don't know what to do about my problems with anxiety. There's no reason for it. Hubby wants me to call my pdoc but I don't want to because he'll want me to go back on higher dose of Seroquel and Depakote...drugs I'm trying to get off of now. Life's a b***h.
Peace....Sonya
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 13:32:07
In reply to Re: Good termination session., posted by Sonya on August 4, 2005, at 13:27:51
Thank Sonya. If you still had issues, why did you terminate? You should have continued to see your therapist I think???
For me, I terminated, because I am moving.
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 13:32:54
In reply to Re: Good termination session. » pinkeye, posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2005, at 13:19:59
Thank you GG.
I am actually feeling good now. And I think it is how it is supposed to be. Maybe later I will feel bad, but for now, I am quite allright, and I really like her. And I have such good feelings for her.
Posted by Sonya on August 4, 2005, at 13:46:39
In reply to Re: Good termination session. » Sonya, posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 13:32:07
I don't have any issues. That's what's wierd. Nothing is wrong in my life. But the anxiety is there. Fo gigure.
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 13:49:04
In reply to Re: Good termination session., posted by Sonya on August 4, 2005, at 13:46:39
Oh - that usually means, there really is something wrong. It doesn't have to be an external problem - it could be soemthing with the way you perceive things. And that is as good as a problem in real life.
I would still think you need continued support. I wouldn't have terminated if I had problems with drinking and anxiety. If this therapist didn't help you, find some one else perhaps?
Posted by Sonya on August 4, 2005, at 13:56:06
In reply to Re: Good termination session. » Sonya, posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 13:49:04
I'm so sorry, pinkeye. I didn't mean to turn attention to me. I think I hijacked your thread. I'm afraid I'm not very good at offering support to people. I seem to turn things around back to myself, and that's wrong. I'm very sorry.
Posted by annierose on August 4, 2005, at 14:50:33
In reply to Good termination session., posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
Pinkeye -
I am so happy all went well for you. And I'm happy she accepted your painted plate --- I like the idea of the tree growing, was it a flowerin tree too?
And I hope if life ever brought you back to the United States, you would see her again. I agree with much she told you. I am female with a female T and I have much feeling towards her. It happens and I'm lucky she is in the trenches with me working it out.
When do you leave for India? We will look forward to your posts when you are able to find access to the internet.Good Luck Pinkeye!!
Annierose
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 15:02:17
In reply to Re: Good termination session., posted by Sonya on August 4, 2005, at 13:56:06
That's fine Sonya. I didn't mind.
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 15:03:22
In reply to Re: Good termination session., posted by annierose on August 4, 2005, at 14:50:33
Thanks Annie.
I am leaving around August 20 th.. But I will be back for a few weeks here in the US in the first half of October I think and stay for a few weeks, and then will go back, and will be back here in a year. That is the current plan. But it keeps changing everyday, and I don't know for sure myself.
Posted by Tamar on August 4, 2005, at 15:16:23
In reply to Good termination session., posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
Hello pinkeye,
Thanks for telling us about your final session. I’m very glad it went so well! She said so many lovely things to you. And it’s great that she accepted your gift and said it was meaningful. I’m glad she said you can go back into therapy with her if you need to.
I’ve been thinking about you all day and hoping your session would go well. I’m so pleased to hear that it did.
Tamar
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 15:33:25
In reply to Re: Good termination session. » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on August 4, 2005, at 15:16:23
Thanks a lot Tamar. !!
It was a very pleasant experience. I really needed it this time.
Posted by happyflower on August 4, 2005, at 16:01:36
In reply to Re: Good termination session. » Tamar, posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 15:33:25
I am glad that today went well for you! You deserve it after what you went through with your ex T. Do you think this positive experience is helping you deal with your ex-ex T ? Well I do hope you can find someone who can help you in India. It will be so cool to talk to you while you are in India! lol
Posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 16:38:27
In reply to Re: Good termination session., posted by happyflower on August 4, 2005, at 16:01:36
Thanks HF
I think it is helping me get a closure with my ex-ex-T as well.
I am a little wistful today wishing that I was able to terminate this way with my ex-ex-T also. It would have really helped me if he had talked to me more about termination, and answered my questions, and talked about what it would mean to me, and what it meant to him etc. We never did it. But I really wish he had done it with me. Asked me what I wanted from him, or helped me to move on.
Posted by Shortelise on August 4, 2005, at 19:33:37
In reply to Good termination session., posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
Pinkeye, I am so so happy for you. What a fine conversation.
((Pinkeye))
Posted by orchid on August 5, 2005, at 14:09:32
In reply to Re: Good termination session. » pinkeye, posted by Shortelise on August 4, 2005, at 19:33:37
Thank you ShortE.
Posted by LadyBug on August 5, 2005, at 19:44:23
In reply to Good termination session., posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
I'm sure you realize how lucky you are for having a good experience with termination. I wish everyone's experience could be positive. I think it will be hard to say goodbye to my T. no matter how well we do the termination because I've been seeing her for over 8 years.
Take it in and keep it there for a source of comfort when you need to draw upon it.
LadyBug
Posted by Dinah on August 6, 2005, at 22:16:37
In reply to Good termination session., posted by pinkeye on August 4, 2005, at 12:41:47
I'm so glad you were able to get what you needed from her. I think termination is such an important part of therapy that I'm glad that it went well for you.
Posted by orchid on August 8, 2005, at 14:17:23
In reply to Re: Good termination session. » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on August 6, 2005, at 22:16:37
This is the end of the thread.
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