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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 16:22:55
Hi...
A few quick facts about me. I have suffered from depression for about 8 years, since I was 12. I have a problem with self-injury, for about 6 years. This is just a few problems I have been dealing with.I posted a while ago about having precocious puberty. It was discovered when I was 4 and I stopped treatment when I was 12, which is about when the depression started. I believe there is a link. But I have read that many people who are cutters have had past experiences of sexual abuse. Because I started puberty very early, the doctor would always check me in my private areas. I know this is a normal thing for a doctor to do, but do you think because I was so young that it might have caused some of my psychological problems? I went to the doctor's about twice a year.
I am going to see a psychologist tomorrow. I haven't had much therapy ever because my parents are not too fond of doctors and don't believe in mental illness. I don't know whether or not I should bring up this issue with a psychologist.
Thanks.
Posted by pinkeye on June 2, 2005, at 16:30:04
In reply to Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 16:22:55
Of course you should bring it up.
I think the Dr did what he/she had to - and they wouldn't have thought twice about doing it because it was needed in a medical sense. And I think that could definitely not be taken as sexual abuse. Not at all. (But if I were a male doctor, I would have referred you to a female doctor instead of doing it myself.)
But more than likely, attaining puberty at such young an age is what caused your depression and other issues. Attaining puberty is difficult as it is, with all the confusion that surrounds it, and what to say of it, if it happens so early on? It would definitely be a traumatic experience to go through all that at 4.
But you should tell everything to your therapist. That would really help.
Posted by JenStar on June 2, 2005, at 16:30:16
In reply to Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 16:22:55
hi Torey,
I think if it's bothering you and you're thinking about it, you should definitely bring it up. Your therapist will keep everything confidential, and should be able to help you sort out your feelings.If you had an early puberty, it's possible that the routine exams felt different to you than they might have to another child.
I hope the visit goes well. Take care!
JenStar
Posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 18:13:31
In reply to Re: Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by JenStar on June 2, 2005, at 16:30:16
ok, i know it's not sexual abuse, because he was a doctor and it had to be done...
i guess i didn't say it as clearly as i wanted to. do you think, since i was so young, that it had a larger psychological impact? i mean, women who go to the gyno have far more invasive exams, but they're old enough to understand. could such a routine physical affect a 4 year old differently, and possibly negatively??
thanks to the two people who responded.
Posted by Tamar on June 2, 2005, at 18:16:24
In reply to Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 16:22:55
Goodness, that sounds like quite an ordeal. I hated puberty enough at 12! It must have been very confusing at 4.
I think the doctors’ exams could have been traumatic, though not necessarily abusive.
I think it's really normal for little kids to object to being touched there. My five year-old daughter doesn't like anyone touching her genitals; when she had a rash she was prescribed some cream and she wanted to put it on herself; she wouldn't let me do it. So I let her do it herself.I can imagine it could have been quite distressing for you. And of course if you were young you might not have fully understood the medical necessity.
The other problem is that people don’t explain to little kids about the automatic responses the body has to being touched, which might have been more pronounced if you were going through puberty. Sometimes there can be a combination of automatic arousal and emotional distress, which can be very confusing.
Not everyone who cuts has a history of sexual abuse. But your history of precocious puberty and intimate exams does sound traumatic. If you are seeing a psychologist I think you would probably find it very helpful to talk about it. It might not be easy, but I think you would find it worthwhile.
I hope you find some answers to your questions.
Tamar
Posted by rainbowbrite on June 2, 2005, at 18:18:19
In reply to Re: Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 18:13:31
Yes, I think it is very possible. Before reading your second post I was thinking that that could have had a huge impact on you. I think it is something really important to bring up in therapy.
Good luck tomorrow.Rain
Posted by daisym on June 2, 2005, at 20:54:23
In reply to Re: Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 18:13:31
The whole idea of therapy is to tell your therapist the truth about what is bothering you. It may take awhile to develop enough trust in this person to let all your feelings out.
I think it is perfectly fine to ask the question, "could this have been traumatic enough to result in my current depression, etc." but I want to caution you (gently) that it may not be as easy as point-to-the-problem, understand it and have that be that. I think it is very normal to want to have a concrete reason to be depressed or to cut. We want to say "X" happened to me so my response is "Y". But there are many, many factors that influence our response to trauma. Most research tells us that how a child is comforted is the most solid indicator of whether a traumatic event turns into PTSD. If a caring adult listens to your fears, comforts you and helps you understand things, it is unlikely for long term effects to take hold. But we are all very different on the scale of sensitivity so what might have been traumatic for you, might not be for someone else.
I just want you to be prepared for the therapist to say, "yes, this could be viewed as traumatic in and of itself, but it is how you are feeling about it NOW that really counts."
Good luck, I hope the appointment goes well.
Posted by Jazzed on June 2, 2005, at 23:03:51
In reply to Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 16:22:55
Hi Torey,
I'm really sorry that you've been feeling so bad. I think, no matter how your parents feel, therapy is essential for you to understand your feelings regarding the depression and whether you perceived what was done to you as abusive. Even if it was neccessary to check you, how does a 4 year old mind deal with that? And yes, I think you need to tell the therapist everything so they can help you sort it out. Is the T you're going to see male or female? Are you comfortable with your choice, or will you be interviewing a few? I hope it all works out, that you click with the T. Keep us posted so we know how it went.
As far as cutting. I used to, and my scars are a constant source of embarrassment to me. I avoid social situations, which is nearly impossible because I'm married and have school aged kids. Please try to work out of this with other methods. I'm sure the T will have some ideas for you.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on June 2, 2005, at 23:06:34
In reply to Could this be sexual abuse/trauma??, posted by Torey on June 2, 2005, at 16:22:55
Oh, I also firmly believe that depression can be caused by hormones, it is for me. If yours started at puberty, then it might be likely. Maybe the T is linked with a psychiatrist who can get you some meds to help you feel better. Depression sucks!
Jazzed
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