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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by gardenergirl on May 27, 2005, at 23:36:03
In reply to Too easy, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2005, at 19:27:19
Dear Dinah's T:
Please know I mean this with the deepest respect...
STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE AND YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's very distracting, gross, and ewwww--how often do you wash your hands?
Of course Dinah would never say anything, and it really doesn't bother her. Really. It's just me complaining, here. ;)
Sincerely,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 27, 2005, at 23:41:24
In reply to Re: Too easy » happyflower, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2005, at 22:21:33
I think the stupidest thing my T ever said was "I can't help you."
Embarrassing things he does...well, it's not really embarrassing (talking about sex and having him bring details up about it later is embarrassing!), but he tends to pull the back of his hair into a little stubby ponytail when it gets longer. He just sorta plays with the back of his hair. Maybe when it starts to hit his neck it bothers him. But it makes me laugh inside.
gg
Posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:19:36
In reply to My turn!, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2005, at 19:53:29
>>Then he moved his chair close to me and looked right at me and said, "happyflower, is there anything else you want to tell me about this?" I very softly said, No!<<
are you joking? Or did he actually do this part, too? Maybe I just missed the part where you end with..."just kidding?!!"
I say this only because with either my ex-T. who I think is so wonderful he has the potential to be (nearly ) on the level of Daisy's, and with my current T. - I would have freaked out if they pulled their chair close to me and talked in a soft voice after a conversation like you described!! And I really quite trust(ed) and like(d) both. But, no way.
It just sounds...creepy on several levels. Not creepy like your T. was coming on to you (unless that's what you meant and I really am havng a stupid night) or being inappropriate...but creepy like...uhhh, get away from me when I am trying to share something so personal and difficult - you're making it harder!
If that's how it happened, how did you not turn deep red, hyperventilate, or...worse?!!
Sorry, HF, I just can't quite grasp that scene. Too close for comfort. lol.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:26:59
In reply to My turn!, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2005, at 19:53:29
"Then he moved his chair close to me and looked right at me and said, "happyflower, is there anything else you want to tell me about this?"
I moved my chair so we were even closer, knees almost touching, and replied very softly, "I thought you'd never ask. I'm madly in love with you. You had me from, 'What can I help you with, Happyflower?' Let's run away together, now, tonight!"
Hahahahahahahahaha...please forgive me...I just couldn't help it. Remember, my mind is quite ill, you know.
And you say you're bad...;-)
{sitting at keyboard wearing evil grin}
Posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:30:36
In reply to Too easy, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2005, at 19:27:19
....my coughing fit story from back in about January?
You said it might have triggered one of your phobias, had it been you.
It pretty much fits here, and I still wonder what the heck my T. might have meant.
Maybe I should tell it again here?
Posted by messadivoce on May 28, 2005, at 1:59:21
In reply to Dinah, do you remember... » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:30:36
It was near the end of the year and I was asking questions about communication after termination (for those who know me well, you know that my T was not at all clear what was okay after termination and what was not). I was putting out feelers and trying to get an idea of what kinds of communication would be okay. He was being very vague. I was trying to get a straight answer out of him. I told him that I wished I could have a friendship-type relationship with him.
Me: I mean, I wish I could meet you for coffee or something sometime.
Him: I don't know if I can accept. But you can offer to meet me for coffee as much as you want. (What? Come again?)
Him: You have all my contact information, and I hope you stay in touch, but I don't think we'll be going to any AC/DC concerts anytime soon.
???????????????????????????????????????????
I actually rolled my eyes at him. I think he thought I was rolling my eyes at the above-mentioned band, since I'm a classical music snob. Went right over his head. Believe me, I have puzzled over that conversation for a year now I can't figure out what the hell he was trying to say.
Posted by Dinah on May 28, 2005, at 5:23:46
In reply to Dinah, do you remember... » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:30:36
Posted by happyflower on May 28, 2005, at 7:27:45
In reply to Oh, my! » happyflower, posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:19:36
> >>Then he moved his chair close to me and looked right at me and said, "happyflower, is there anything else you want to tell me about this?" I very softly said, No!<<
>
> are you joking? Or did he actually do this part, too? Maybe I just missed the part where you end with..."just kidding?!!"
>
No, I am not joking! He usually says about 4 ft or more away from me, but when he said that he did get much closer, but not close enough to make me uncomfortable. I don't believe he was coming on to me, and it was my soft voice that answered him. It did make me stop breathing, lol, only because you know I was dreaming of him. But he never was inappropriate. But I do think he was also attracted to me.
During our next session, I felt the boundry walls come down stong. And I revolted, and asked if I had done something wrong. He said no, but he losened up a little. I asked him if I shouldn't have talked about sex the other day, for after all he is a male and all, and I thought he got flustered. He knew I knew it got to him. He said no, if it is something that concerns me, then we need to talk about it. But there has always been clear boundries for me and I don't feel he or I have ever crossed anything. Maybe gardengirl can help here. I think he was just trying to be sensitive and trying to connect with me.
>
>
Posted by happyflower on May 28, 2005, at 7:35:38
In reply to Or, there's the alternate ending... » happyflower, posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:26:59
> "Then he moved his chair close to me and looked right at me and said, "happyflower, is there anything else you want to tell me about this?"
>
> I moved my chair so we were even closer, knees almost touching, and replied very softly, "I thought you'd never ask. I'm madly in love with you. You had me from, 'What can I help you with, Happyflower?' Let's run away together, now, tonight!"
>
> Hahahahahahahahaha...please forgive me...I just couldn't help it. Remember, my mind is quite ill, you know.
> And you say you're bad...;-)
> {sitting at keyboard wearing evil grin}You are too funny10derHeart! I see your horns on the top of your head! Yes this is maybe what I wished at the time would happen. Please don't everyone blast me about ethics and everything. But I am over the erotic transference now, and I look back on how silly I was thinking. He is really a good T and would never cross the line with me. But I do think it is possiable for there to be mutual attraction. But being the good T that he is, got himself under control. lol
Even though I fantazized what it would be like to be with him, I think I would have totally freaked out if he ever made a move. But I do like your alternate ending! You crack me up!
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 28, 2005, at 13:07:24
In reply to Re: Or, there's the alternate ending..., posted by happyflower on May 28, 2005, at 7:35:38
I will never ever forget the time my old T suddenly had a look of horror in her eyes and she kind of jerked a little. I had no idea what was going on until I realized she was trying to fix her bra!!!! LOL Instead of excusing herself and saying, I think my bra just broke or it snapped open, she tryed to secretively fix it. It didnt work at all and it was too ammusing and weird for me to suggest anthing else. she sat with her back tight against the chair for the rest of the session. I tried sooo hard not laugh.
Posted by LadyBug on May 28, 2005, at 13:45:04
In reply to Funny/embarrassing things they do, posted by rainbowbrite on May 28, 2005, at 13:07:24
After one of my appointments I stopped by to use the restroom. My T came in and went in the next stall. I don't know if she knew it was me that was next to her or not. She blasted one!!!! I don't know if it was just a blast or a total blow-out!!! I thought I better get my butt out of there before she sees me. I realized just how real of a person she truely is!!! I would have died had that been me doing that as she was in the next stall!! She must have been suffering major stomach cramps during our visit and I couldn't see it. Training I guess!!!
Geez, they are human too!!!
One time I had to pee really bad before an appointment. I went in to the restroom and she was in there freshening up a bit. I sat down on the pot and do you think I could pee????? NOOOOO. I told her I can't pee with you in here!! She laughed but left and said, see ya in a min. That was imbarassing to me!! I don't normally have that problem..... but I'd never been in there going at the same time she was in there!!! I know she's not imbarrassed to let out a small burp or hic-up.
Oh my gosh who brought this topic up???? It makes me laugh!!!!!!!!! Let's share some more fine stories of the T's we think are perfect!!LadyBug
Posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 14:27:42
In reply to Yes, I think it would be a good time. :) (nm) » 10derHeart, posted by Dinah on May 28, 2005, at 5:23:46
My T. (picture 50's, balding, kindly-looking, glasses, slightly overweight) had been ill with some nasty chest cold thing - sick enough to cancel all his clients for 2 days.
So when he rescheduled me, I come in and we start talking. He was obviously still not well at all. After a couple minutes, something triggered a bad coughing fit, where he turned a bit red, and had to drink water, etc., to get it to stop. Since it seemed a little awkward during the coughing (and I really am a nice person who cares about others), I tried saying something...
Me: "I hate those kinds of coughs. I've had that before. Sometimes you can cough so hard it hurts your back muscles."
T: (after drinking the water and wiping his eyes) "Well, I'd tell you where this cough hurts me right now, but it would be too embarrassing."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ewwwwwwwwww!! What the ____!?Any theories?
No, wait, gross.
Well, I'm curious, but, ewww..I told this one to my daughter, who is usually fairly creative - and blunt. Her theory is that his pain must have been in the vicinity of the scrotum. Hmmm...I was thinking more toward the..errr...back side areas....
Lovely thought she implanted in my head for the future.
She can be a provocative young woman...looking for the reaction/laugh - runs in the family, apparently ;-)
PS - Lucklily, T. hasn't coughed since - because if he does, I swear I'll have a flashback to his comment/her theory and start giggling like an idiot....
Posted by happyflower on May 28, 2005, at 14:32:31
In reply to Re: Funny/embarrassing things they do, posted by LadyBug on May 28, 2005, at 13:45:04
You make me laugh soooo hard! I would have just died, if I heard my T do that,( not that we would be in same restroom, because he is male). I know we all do it, but there is just some things you don't want to know about some people! lol I think if I was a T, I would have my own private bathroom. You T had to know someone else was in the bathroom at the time! Oh my! It's a good thing your session was next! lol
Posted by happyflower on May 28, 2005, at 14:43:52
In reply to Hmm, tell me where it hurts..., posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 14:27:42
So funny! This is getting to be a fun weekend! I just love all the stories! So does it really hurt a guy there when they cough too much? News to me? Maybe I rather not know! lol
Posted by Shortelise on May 28, 2005, at 14:52:05
In reply to We need a good therapy topic for this weekend, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2005, at 18:53:25
The T I had 35 years ago passed in therapy. I was so embarrassed, and he coulnd't help but laugh. I turned purple.
The only reallly stupid thing my current T has done was the first time I telephoned him, I'd been seeing him for about a year, and was suddenly in a big, anxoius mess. When I called him, he suggested I go shopping. SHOPPING. I know I've mentioned this here before, but really, I was so shocked. He was trying to suggest I do something I enjoy, get out of the house, change the scene, but why he suggested shopping ...??? Birdwatching maybe, but not shopping!
ShortE, who will continue all weekend to wrack her brain for more stupid things he might have said or done, just to convince herself that he is worth leaving.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 14:54:26
In reply to Re: Hmm, tell me where it hurts... » 10derHeart, posted by happyflower on May 28, 2005, at 14:43:52
H*ll if I know! Never asked a guy. And my daughter didn't ask her husband, I'm pretty sure. The idea just was the first thing that popped into her head...hey, who raised that child, anyway?!!
I'll have to ask my SIL when they come to visit me next weekend.
But, it sounds possible. I mean, if you've ever coughed that hard, it does sort of involve your whole upper body....
It's just that it was only our 2nd appt., and I didn't know him at all, and I just didn't need to be going through an "embarrassing body-part inventory" in my mind to try to figure it out...
Oh. I just realized it could have been worse. He could have GRABBED the part in question and told me it hurt, instead of just mysteriously mentioning it!!
Now THAT would have been....yikes!!!!
Thanks for starting this. I've really needed good laughs and this is doing it!
Posted by Tamar on May 28, 2005, at 15:45:40
In reply to Hmm, tell me where it hurts..., posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 14:27:42
ROFL!
Yeah, the vicinity of the scrotum sounds about right to me.
Ouch!
I can see why he wouldn't want to tell you. It would be hard to put it out of your mind!
Posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 17:05:52
In reply to Re: Hmm, tell me where it hurts... » 10derHeart, posted by Tamar on May 28, 2005, at 15:45:40
>I can see why he wouldn't want to tell you. It would be hard to put it out of your mind!
True, but do you see how it was almost worse, alluding to "something", then making me try to puzzle it out and wonder...?
I did say *almost* worse.
Actually telling me at a 2nd session - particularly if it was that private area - would have been....bizarre, to say the least...
Running from the room bizarre, methinks.
Posted by Tamar on May 28, 2005, at 18:55:26
In reply to Re: Hmm, tell me where it hurts..., posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 17:05:52
> >I can see why he wouldn't want to tell you. It would be hard to put it out of your mind!
>
> True, but do you see how it was almost worse, alluding to "something", then making me try to puzzle it out and wonder...?
>
> I did say *almost* worse.Ah yes... the power of the imagination to consider multiple and equally embarrassing/unpleasant alternatives.
> Actually telling me at a 2nd session - particularly if it was that private area - would have been....bizarre, to say the least...
>
> Running from the room bizarre, methinks.Definitely! And he'd never be able to run after you...
Posted by Dinah on May 28, 2005, at 19:08:55
In reply to Re: Hmm, tell me where it hurts..., posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 17:05:52
I would assume that he was stoned on medications for his cough, and came back to work too soon.
Especially if his disinhibition didn't seem to be characteristic of him.
:)
Posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 9:05:13
In reply to Too easy, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2005, at 19:27:19
> Mine has picked his nose, and picked at facial blemishes, too often for me to remember.
>
> I don't think he realizes.Blek! LOL Yep that would make 'em human to me!
Posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 9:11:37
In reply to Re: Too easy » happyflower, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2005, at 22:21:33
> Yeah, he's done it. Not recently perhaps. But he has picked at things on his skin recently.
>
> And yet, when I need reassurance, or wish to reach out for some reason, I put out my hand for a handshake.
>
> (shakes head in wonder)
>
> Maybe it's like being a mom. It's not as disgusting, when the boogery hands are hands you care about.
>
> I really think he doesn't know he does it. I used to think it was a deliberate gesture of disrespect to me. But he mentioned recently that he frequently fidgets with his hands, and I think that's true.
>
> On the other hand, he frequently forgets to turn off his cell phone, and I have to wait politely while he does so. And he usually peeks at who has called. :( Now he may not be embarassed by that, but he should be.
Maybe you should get him some Silly Putty, or a "fidget", they're used by Occupational Therapists to keep busy kids more still during class. Keep the hands out of the nose dear! LOL EW!
Posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 9:13:23
In reply to My turn!, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2005, at 19:53:29
> Okay, before I knew about feeling erotic attraction happens a lot in therapy, I mentioned to my T that I had this very erotic dream about a really attractive guy who I met a short time ago. But what was bad is that it made me fantasize about him (if you know what I mean).Well, I thought it as disrespectful to my husband and I was struggling with it.
> So I talked to my T about it and told him. When he went to ask what the dreams were about, I said, "Well they were very good", he got soooo red and embarrest! I think he knew they were about him, but I never told him that, but T's are smart right? You should have seen him regroup himself, and he still stubbled over his words. He normally talks very intelligently. After we discussed that fantasies are normal and not disrespectful, etc. Then he moved his chair close to me and looked right at me and said, "happyflower, is there anything else you want to tell me about this?" I very softly said, No! Nothing has been said about it again! lol Thank goodness, I am over it now. But what was funny is I totally caught him off guard, no wonder he calls me challenging! lolAw, damn! I think ya need to revisit this one with him, and see how he reacts! He pulled his chair up close to you? How do you suppose the conversation would have gone if you'd admitted to it? I'd LOVE to know! LOL
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 9:17:44
In reply to Or, there's the alternate ending... » happyflower, posted by 10derHeart on May 28, 2005, at 0:26:59
> "Then he moved his chair close to me and looked right at me and said, "happyflower, is there anything else you want to tell me about this?"
>
> I moved my chair so we were even closer, knees almost touching, and replied very softly, "I thought you'd never ask. I'm madly in love with you. You had me from, 'What can I help you with, Happyflower?' Let's run away together, now, tonight!"
>
> Hahahahahahahahaha...please forgive me...I just couldn't help it. Remember, my mind is quite ill, you know.
> And you say you're bad...;-)
> {sitting at keyboard wearing evil grin}You and me both
Posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 9:20:31
In reply to Stupid things our Ts have said, posted by messadivoce on May 28, 2005, at 1:59:21
> It was near the end of the year and I was asking questions about communication after termination (for those who know me well, you know that my T was not at all clear what was okay after termination and what was not). I was putting out feelers and trying to get an idea of what kinds of communication would be okay. He was being very vague. I was trying to get a straight answer out of him. I told him that I wished I could have a friendship-type relationship with him.
>
> Me: I mean, I wish I could meet you for coffee or something sometime.
>
> Him: I don't know if I can accept. But you can offer to meet me for coffee as much as you want. (What? Come again?)
>
> Him: You have all my contact information, and I hope you stay in touch, but I don't think we'll be going to any AC/DC concerts anytime soon.
>
> ???????????????????????????????????????????
>
> I actually rolled my eyes at him. I think he thought I was rolling my eyes at the above-mentioned band, since I'm a classical music snob. Went right over his head. Believe me, I have puzzled over that conversation for a year now I can't figure out what the hell he was trying to say.
>
>
Print this out, send it to him, ask him, and then say, "let's get togehter for coffee, and we can discuss it!"Jazzed
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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