Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
My internist thinks I probably have diverticulitis. That's what those pains and nausea I've been having are about. She put me on antibiotics and gave me the name of a gastroenterologist because she says I need to have a colonoscopy.
My mind blanked when she said that word. I tried to mutter something about not needing one, but she didn't really say anything. I've had to call her office three times because I blanked out so much I couldn't recall how I was supposed to use the samples she gave me. Whether I was supposed to be on the antibiotics for a while before calling the other doctor. Whether I had told her about stopping the Depakote temporarily for work and if I still needed a Depakote level.
I obediently called and made an appointment, but now I'm frankly panicking and it surprises me. I don't like gyn exams or mammograms but I do them without undue distress. I'm not going to do this. There is no way on God's green earth that they are going to get me to do a colonoscopy. No.
So if I'm sure of that, why am I panicking. And why is my blasted therapist out of town. Although admittedly I don't want to talk too much about my colon. And I'm too upset with him to want to talk to him about my colon.
Breathe in and out.
Good grief! Why is this freaking me out so much?
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on April 20, 2005, at 13:10:59
In reply to I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
Dinah,
Forgive my ignorance. Could it be that your pain and nausea are caused by plain old anxiety or medicinal side effects?
Could you opt for swallowing a camera instead of the usual method? Or do the wee cameras not work that way?
I understand your not wanting to do this COMPLETELY!!
Posted by cricket on April 20, 2005, at 13:36:39
In reply to I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
> So if I'm sure of that, why am I panicking. And why is my blasted therapist out of town. Although admittedly I don't want to talk too much about my colon. And I'm too upset with him to want to talk to him about my colon.
>
LOL re above.Ugh Dinah. I completely understand. I have a major phobia of doctors, not to say anything about invasive body procedures.
But through it all you have this resilient sense of humor. It's really nice.
Posted by whirlpool on April 20, 2005, at 14:04:32
In reply to I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
Hi Dinah,
Your anxiety about the colonoscopy can be understood, and many people feel uneasy about this exam. After having it done, however, they admit it wasn't as they thought it would be.
Nowadays there is also a substitute known as a virtual colonoscopy, but if you have to do the regular one, you will be sedated and you won't feel the test or remember it.
It is important to have your problem diagnosed and treated. Try not to worry about it, though I know it's easier said than done.
I hope you feel better,
Whirl.
Posted by happyflower on April 20, 2005, at 14:39:44
In reply to Re: I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by whirlpool on April 20, 2005, at 14:04:32
I don't want one either! They say if you have someone in your immediate family who was dianosed with colon cancer, you need to be tested 10 years before the persons age who got it. My dad was 48, and I am 36 now. In 2 years I hope there is another alternative.
Posted by MidnightBlue on April 20, 2005, at 16:13:47
In reply to I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
Dinah,
Depakote can really mess up your intestines with cramps, nausea. So maybe if you just go off of it you will be okay.
I don't want a colonoscopy either. They tried to reassure me they would give me LOTS of meds to put me to sleep and I told them that's just it. I'm scared to death of meds and that I will have a reaction to them or will never wake up.
I have had food poisoning this last week and I am better but not much. I don't want ANY tests! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 18:05:16
In reply to Re: I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by MidnightBlue on April 20, 2005, at 16:13:47
that there were other posters with issues regarding medical procedures who might have words of wisdom for me. I'll definitely urge the alternative methods.
I guess the symbolic overtones of this one are obvious and it's no small wonder that I'm not feeling at all reasonable about it.
If they can convince me there is a good reason, I'll consider it. Maybe.
But I don't think they'll be able to convince me of that. Neither side of my family has had colon cancer, and there's always that occult blood test.
I've done my breathing and relaxation. And yes, I called my therapist's machine. I told him he didn't need to call me back, I just needed to touch base.
So I think I'm a bit more centered now. After all, they can't make me take that test. :)
Posted by Poet on April 20, 2005, at 22:18:49
In reply to I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
Hi Dinah,
I don't blame you for not wanting a test that is uncomfortable. We can't all be Katie Couric and flash our bleached white teeth and grin and bear it.
My husband has diverticulitis and has not had a colonoscopy. His was diagnosed with a CT scan. I know everybody is different, but you might discuss this with the gastroentrologist.
He just had a flare up and took antibiotics for a week, and avoids eating seeds or nuts. Seeds includes those in fruit like strawberries. He can't drink alcohol either.
I hope there is an alternative for you. Your fear is not a phobia, it's justified fear- a colonoscopy is a major test.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2005, at 11:29:31
In reply to Re: I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by Poet on April 20, 2005, at 22:18:49
I think I'm thinking of it as irrational because my initial reaction had nothing to do with logic. It was more like my knee jerk reaction to sex.
I'm glad to know that there are alternatives. I like to think that if they could present me with a compelling reason that I need to have one, I would overcome my fear. But I don't think "You haven't had one yet?" is all that compelling.
I'm glad to know there are alternatives. I'm going to be firm about insisting on one.
I'm sure by the time I see the gastroenterologist I'll be more up to fighting. Today I just feel awful and am wishing they could give me something to knock me out till the antibiotics start working.
Posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:05:47
In reply to I'm panicky. New phobia uncovered., posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 11:54:46
I've had both a barium enema and a colonoscopy.
It was during the time a few years ago when I was in a period of many migraines, a period that lasted about ten years, and I was in up to my ears with therapy. Then all hannah barbara breaks loose in my hind end and I had to have a barium enema. Oh, honey, you listen to me, because I KNOW. You WANT to have a colonoscopy. Really, you do. Becaue a barium enema is the other test they do, where you empty yourself out for 24 hours, then they fill you up with this hideous stuff and xray you. Then the hideous stuff comes out from the same orifice you've been emtying yourself from and which is already tender, to say the least. No, let me be more precise. You take laxatives and cleansing enemas to the point where your poor bum is screaming for pity, is crying out for no more no more, whcih is fine because if there is any more anything whatsoever inside of you to be, um, elminated, chances are it's an organ of some sort so hopefully your, say, lung is not going to come out of your bum, though at some point it may seem so.
Then when you arrive at the X-ray S&M parlour, they fill you up with a great deal of some white chalky liquid, fill you with it until you think it is going to come out of your mouth. You tell them that's enough and they laugh. Ha ha. Very funny. We haven't put any in yet, just a few drops. They fill every nook and cranny of your intestines with this evil white chalky stuff, then x-ray you from any angle they think will look good in their scrap books, then take a snap or two for the docs.
Then it's over. Ha. They say, you may have a "little disomfort" passing the solution. They lie. Like rugs.
I got in a cab to come home as I felt no need at all to use the toilet. I hung around the bathroom there at the X-ray S&M parlour, but nothing happened, so off I went. Half way home, a 20 minute ride, it hit me. Oh, no, I thought, I'm never going to make it. In fact, I'm not going to survive at all. It felt as if a rock quarry had formed in my gut and the dynamite had just been set off.
I must have been green. You'd better hurry, I told the driver. He sped up. No, I mean, you'd better hurry, I said, and he looked at me again, and sped up some more. We made it home, through downtown traffic, in record time. I tipped him generously, stumbled into my building, and made it into the elevator.
Hold it hold it, the door to the elevator opened, I tottered down the hall, managed to get the door to my apartment opened and ... well, it was a mess, to which luckily I was the only witness. The trousers I was wearing were ruined. That chalky stuff does not come out of wool, and is very noticeable on black wool.
The boulders that had formed in my gut further insulted my tender hindparts by their passage. For a couple of days, I drank lots of water, and considered a liquid diet for life. But it passed, so to speak.The X-rays were not conclusive. So, on to the colonoscopy.
Now, the colonoscopy is a breeze. Nope it's no fun having them stick a thing up your bum, pump you full of air and sightsee, but it's ok. And they give fabulous drugs! They could have asked me to f*rt the Sound of Music and I would have tried to comply (am I allowed to write "f*rt" here?) I was so deliciously medicated. They gave me a combination of valium and demerol. ANd I got to watch the whole thing on TV as they did it, saw what they were seeing in living colour. (I discovered the origin of the term "butt ugly" as the carmera approached that opening.) But it was cool to see the inside of my intestines, really it was.)
Because I had fasted, no water, and had done the cleansing thing, I had a migraine that was killing, and the meds knocked it out for time I was having the colonoscopy. It came right back after, and it amazes me that they let me leave, now that I think about it. I could hardly walk I was in so much pain.
Ok, anyone who has just read this now thinks I am very, very weird, which is just fine - I am! But frankly, if you can't make a good story out of the hard stuff that happens, what can you make a story out of? And if you are going to be curled up stoned on really good meds, you might as well enjoy talking a sightseeing tour of your intestines. What else is there to do?
But here's what I really want to tell you Dinah. I think it's unfair to yourself to call this a phobia. It may be one, but NO ONE wants strangers fiddling around with those very private places. Ok, there are some people who enjoy it, but those people aside, NO ONE wants to go there. It's not necessarily a phobia, though it's a big YUCK!!!!! UGH!!!!
I hate gyn exams. I hate mammograms. I am a baby about them. It feels like an invasion. But I tell them, I explain that it's very difficult for me, and ask them to please try to help me be comfortable.
I talked with my T about this when it was going on, and he was so reassuring. It was he who said that everyone hates this stuff. No one wants to talk about it, no one wants to do it. But even completely tied in knots at the time ME did it.
You could look up diverticulitis on the web and change your diet in the meantime.
I send you great huge warm hugs, and hope I've made you laugh a little. Dinah, this is just another one of those finking annoying bits of balthering blank we have to do. And I tell you, the valium and demerol I.V. was almost worth the ordeal. It certainly gave me insight into drug addicts. :-)Oh, and I was fine by the way. Nothing wrong at all.
ShortE
Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2005, at 15:49:34
In reply to What you don't want - the Barium Enema » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:05:47
Oh, I don't know when I remember laughing like that. You have a real way of painting a picture!
Ok, check that possibility off the list.
Doctors seem so fond of these exploratory tests when they don't have any real reason (in my case anyway) to think there's anything seriously wrong. Just give me some metamucil, after the antibiotics work for this bout, and leave me alone!!
I'm absolutely fascinated with the brain (migraine), mood, gut link. Serotonin disregulation everywhere.
Posted by MidnightBlue on April 21, 2005, at 17:22:27
In reply to What you don't want - the Barium Enema » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:05:47
Please forgive me for laughing so hard, but what a wonderful "guided tour" of your er uh you know! Sometimes I think doctors just like to think up ways to torture us!
Posted by anastasia56 on April 23, 2005, at 22:16:57
In reply to What you don't want - the Barium Enema » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:05:47
Posted by gardenergirl on April 24, 2005, at 0:10:03
In reply to What you don't want - the Barium Enema » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:05:47
Posted by Shortelise on April 24, 2005, at 14:48:19
In reply to What you don't want - the Barium Enema » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:05:47
This is the end of the thread.
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